Saturday, October 22, 2016

237 days

I really don't have anything to talk about.

My brother came in town for a day yesterday and we really didn't do anything fun. I spend a lot of time by myself so I was semi disappointed that we didn't really talk. Then again I don't have a lot to talk about. We set around in the house and did nothing. I got to take a nap while little man also took and nap but the cool part was that when he woke up my brother just go him up and let me sleep. I really didn't sleep because I'm trained to hear my kid even through a deep sleep. We went to a friends house for dinner. My son has a huge thing about throwing toys down their stairs (because the living area is on the second level of their townhouse). Which was fun to keep cleaning up the stairs over and over again. We left around 10pm and my brother took my husband's car to base to get on his boat. They left this am.

Today we didn't do anything either. I folded a couple of loads of laundry and watched TV.   It was glorious to not feel the pressure to have to do something. Tomorrow I invited a friend over to watcch a football game. I also need to take a trip to Wal-Mart and that's my weekend. Boring uneventful weekend. I am so thankful though that I get to really spend time with my little man. I keep reminding myself how much is going to change once the baby is born. So I gotta get all those hugs and single kisses now.

Well I'm off to shower and bed. I hope everyone reading this had a great weekend and I'd love to hear what you did this weekend by yourself or with your family! Please leave me a comment.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

239 days

Little man & I went to go pick up a beer mug that my husband had engraved for his sponsor during Chief season. We picked up some of his sponsor's favorite candy & mailed the the mug out. I wasn't thinking about my husbands X-Box so we have to go back and mail that off this weekend. Now that we know it could take a whole week for the packages to arrive, I need to make sure I get it done asap.

After we arrived home we got some great play time in - man this little man loves these bouncy balls! I'm so happy he does because we are learning so many new things! I'm so surprised on how quickly he has picked up 'bouncing' instead of just rolling it around. we got a good nap in and he woke up super cranky. I completely forgot about his teething and couldn't figure out what the problem was. I made chicken pot pies, which he normally loves, and he didn't touch it at all. We have gotten to the point where he'll only eat fruit specifically strawberries. At least it's healthy.. right? I gave him a bath, some infant tylenol and put some vicks on the bottom of his feet. I'm sure the vick's doesn't help with teething but hey.

Made a to do list and got 4 out of 6 items completed. Super proud of myself. As soon as I finish this post I'll knock out the master bath before we go to bed, just leaving a load of a laundry that needs to be done tomorrow. I'm so happy I got that kitchen floor mopped. Little man has a habit of throwing food off his tray, for Bella, when he is done eating. So those floors were pretty neglected but man I feel better to get so much accomplished. I bet you are excited too because it's annoying to keep hearing me whine about not getting stuff done.

I got a 'girls night' invite. I'm super happy about that! Now to find a sitter to see if this is even going to be possible. Super excited to just be invited! My brother will be here for a day tomorrow & I have a fun day planned for Sunday. We have a weekend getaway planned for one of the first weekends in Nov to visit a farm petting zoo. So things are looking up.

Today was a good day! How was your Thursday?


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

240 days

Ten full days - he's been gone 10 full days. Crazy to think that ten full days have passed and I still feel like it was yesterday. I have come to realize that I am really hard on myself. Here I am with a 15 month old beautiful baby boy & 11.5 days pregnant with my 2nd beautiful baby. I'm currently a single Mom with 2 dogs and 2 cats. I run a full house & I'm constantly disappointed on what I didn't accomplish instead of what I did. It's hard to change that mindset I have established but I did to do it. I'm not a superhuman - I am just human. I can accomplish what I can and I try really hard to add more and more. Today I got the floors mopped (all but the kitchen), I got a bathroom clean, I got a shower, the trash taken out, the dishwasher emptied and refilled and emptied again.. but when I list it like this it seems so little. I feel like I'm a bit on the lazy side and I also feel like I should be getting a lot more done housework wise. It's hard because little man is so interested in so many new things. He's needing three meals a day, plus naps, plus diaper changes. plus playtime. It's a hard balance but if you're a Mom  you know this language all too well. It's the most rewarding and the most rewarding 'job' anybody can have. I love watching little man learn something new, or see the light in his eyes when a song comes on he knows. Our new thing is playing with his new bouncy balls, he gets so much joy bouncing the ball and putting in the box (old diaper box). I just feel I need to do more or do better but I feel like I'm being to hard on myself.

Today I got my surprise from the husband & boy was it a surprise! Even though I figured he was sending flowers - it blew my mind. First off I have never received flowers from him before - delivery wise. He bought me a bouquet for our anniversary a while ago but this bouquet was amazing! If you follow me on social media then you have already seen the beautiful bouquet.

I was completely blown away by the two dozen roses but the bear & the dozen strawberries.. WOW that was over the top! He did a great job! I was very surprised but sad he wasn't here so I could thank him in person & he could enjoy some of the strawberries too. Hopefully he doesn't forget in my birthday (in a month) and he does a smaller bouquet without all the extra's. I'm also hoping I can keep these beautiful babies alive for a while!

That's all I have for today. I know that I'm really hard on myself and I know I need to stop doing that. The good thing is my brother will be here on Friday so I'll have a little adult interaction to hopefully help me feel 'normal' again. Motherhood is hard, deployments are hard - I just never thought about doing both at the same time. My hat goes off to all the Mom's out there who have done deployments. You are so strong! My hat goes off to all the single Mom's; I don't know how you do it but you deserve more then my words of acknowledgement. Just know you are doing the best you can & your babies know you love them.

I hope everyone had a great Wednesday & hoping you have a even better Thursday. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

241 days.

Today we got out of the house pretty early. I wanted to get as much of our errands done before Little Man's nap time so that I could join in and get stuff done around the house after he woke up. We started off at Ross where I bought some maternity shirts & a couple of baby girl outfits. I also got Little man an outfit. A fight broke out between two women in the store so I got out in a hurry - don't even know what the fight was about to be honest - all I know is my baby was in the store and I wanted out.  I ended up leaving a whole bag of clothing, that I paid for, in the store! Turns out it was all my maternity clothing too. The store agreed that I could pick it up tomorrow.  After Ross we went a couple stores down to Micheal's where we bought some finger paints, these huge pom poms (which little man loves) and four blue and white anchor ribbon spools. After Micheal's we went to Target and on the way my air pressure warning went off again, it went off yesterday and the day before also. I stopped in at a Discount Tire, had them check out the pressure and they found three nails in one tire. We ended up putting two new tires on the SUV{{total side note here. Ladies & Gents do NOT let a tire co tell you that you can only replace ONE tire are a time ESP if they are all bad and ESP if they are your back tires. Tires should ALWAYS be bought in pairs - it helps with your alignments and your axel.}} and they promised me an hour. So I took my cranky little man to target in his stroller, where he passed out on the walk there, and I got to shop basically by myself. I picked up more little girl clothes, another outfit for little man, two bouncy balls, more finger paints, looked at some double strollers, got lunch and some fabulous butter popcorn. Walked back to DT and they hadn't even started on my car - 54 min later! I was furious! They promised me an hour and it was completed closer to the end of 2. So a very tired and cranky 15 month old in a tire store that is full of quietly waiting other customers.. lord.

We made it home. Not much of anything productive happened after that. I really really need to get these floors mopped & my brother arrives on Thursday so I gotta get this house cleaned, and the guest room set up. Fun note I had a great convo with the hubby today; who was less then pleased on all the little girl clothing without knowing gender. I mean it's a whole 20 outfits that include onesies, pants, and pj's. I think we are off to a great start considering I had WAY more then this at 11 weeks for little man. Anyway I can hold off shopping for more clothes for the next months. I mean I don't want a whole bunch of long sleeved clothing anyway.

That's all I got. My 'special' gift from the hubby arrives tomorrow so hopefully we are home when it arrives!! I'll have to share with you all what it is! Well - have a great night and I have a fun surprise to announce next week to those of you who are reading my posts.

Monday, October 17, 2016

242 days

Today was a very tiring day.  I spend the morning looking through different websites for a double stroller that I want. I mean the morning just flew past and before I knew it we were ready for our 10:30 nap (well Little Man's nap time not mine). I actually did fall asleep during his morning nap today but we got up and went grocery shopping. The whole event of getting grocery's is so exhausting but the worst for me unloading the vehicle.. blech. I got everything unloaded and all the cold/frozen put away. Little man took his second nap, which the one I usually join him on, in the car so I was exhausted this evening.
We did get to talk to the husband for a 20 min block while eating dinner - that was nice! After little man went to bed I cleaned the kitchen. This morning it was all clean and put together & tonight it was like a war zone. Just how?? Seriously only two of us and you'd think we had a huge get together or something - I just don't understand.
Tomorrow I've got to mop these floors and put the remaining homeless groceries away. My goal is to also hang up the white shelves I bought for my bedroom, that I talked about yesterday. I forgot to charge the drill today. I need to make a big long to do list and start checking off all the things that need to be done. I made a chore chart on excel but I'm trying to do such a deep purge that the chore chart seems irrelevant at the moment. I also want to make it to Micheal's and Target to get some sensory play items. Little man is really into bouncy balls right now - you know the medium sized 'dodge ball' type. I also want to pick up some type of water colors and I really would like to find some type of edible saving cream foam. That made no sense. I want something like shaving cream he can play with on his high chair tray but I'd like it to be edible since he's a baby still.
The husband told me to be on the look out for a gift on Wed. Can't wait to share with you guys what it is. Hopefully it's a babysitter so I can go see a movie. Or maybe it's maid for a day. A girl can dream yea?
I hope everyone had a great Monday. Next Monday I have my first official OB appointment and I'm super excited to see the baby again. Well, anyway - goodnight and God Bless.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

244 & 243 days

Recap of day 244 {yesterday}.
We had a birthday party for a friends son who turned one. It was a sweet little party. I loved the theme and the detail they put into it. The gift that we bought hasn't arrived yet - even though it was a prime item and I paid for next day shipping ($16.99) but fedex isn't delivering it until tomorrow. Really upset about that but it's not the end of the world. After we left the birthday party, we came home for an hour before going to get food at Olive Garden b/c I was craving a salad. Little man also loves spaghetti so it was a win - win. After little man went to bed, around 8, a new friend came over to eat dinner with me and watch a movie. We didn't really watch a movie, we just set around and talked. Her fiance' is with my husband in Maine & obviously on the same ship. They guys met here in SD a couple months ago and have become fast friends so we felt it was time to get to know one another. It was a very nice evening. We ended our night around 12:30 and I was exhausted.

Today I took a slower approach to my day. I got all the laundry done in the house - hung up and put away {yay me!} and organized kitchen drawers. We have already thrown out so many things we haven't used so the utensil drawer was a to do item. Later I went to IKEA with my girlfriend K & then we went out to dinner at Souplantation (I'm really craving salads). At IKEA I bought a new rack to hang above our kitchen sink to help with the counter clutter, bought a new utensil holder (so now we have two full ones), multi colored kid dish set, a dish drying rack, and wooden cutting board. I don't shop IKEA very often but I thought I managed the buying impluse really well. Little man feel asleep on the way home but woke up as soon as I tried to change him into his pj's. I should have just left him but I knew he needed a diaper change & if you are going to do a diaper change you might as well change the clothing too. He's been up since 8 and it's now 11:30. Finally down for the night which means he'll sleep in until apx 830 tomorrow morning - which is why I went ahead and wrote this post.

the funny thing about organization & declutter is that it brings such disorganization and clutter with  it until you iron out all the little details. Much like life. When you make a big change in your personal life, things seem to get messy - harder even - but if you plow through it's usually worth it. That's how I feel about the house. I now have 4.. yes 4.. empty clothes baskets that we were full of stuff we needed to remove from the house. I have done 3 purges through the master, which lead to purchasing two shelves ( I need apx 8 total) but if you looked at my room you couldn't tell that I've worked an hour a day for a week on it. I know the end reward will be worth it but man it's so chaotic.  right now. I keep saying that my purges are from my pregnancy but my friend K said it could just be a way to deal with my husband being gone. It's the first chance for me to really put my stamp on the place without getting distracted. I can set my own pace and really focus on what I'm doing. I think she's right but I also think it's a little of both.

Well I have decided to make an appointment to have a 3D ultrasound done at 14 weeks so we can find out gender of the baby. So hopefully in three weeks the baby will cooperate and I can start really planning this nursery. Worse comes to worse we find out at 20 weeks but I'd like to know so I can start picking up clothes. The husband talked me into it really. So I have a question for you Mommy's of little girls. If we are having a girl, which is what I think we are, I'd like to purchase all her furniture in white. I want the same exact 4 n 1 crib and exact dresser that little man has but his is in dark cherry. My question is.. as she gets older .. like 13 and up.. white is a good color right? I don't know why the white screams girl to me.. maybe because it's softer. Is that a good plan or should I do the exact same color in both rooms also??  The husband is no help and just says "get what you want". I really don't plan on buying a new furniture set for either one of them.. ever.

We have made it a full week since the husband left & we've done ok. A couple more things to work on and hopefully get a new rhythm going for our day. Time management is key with a toddler. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Friday, October 14, 2016

245 days

Hopefully I can make a real quick post simply because it's already so late. Little man literally feel asleep 20 min ago and he's usually out by 8pm.
Nothing to really report for today other then I got a lot of work done on the house. I got little man's carpet's shampoo'd, the master really dejunked & thankfully my new shelving for the master came in today. My brother will be here next week so I'm going see if he has time to help me because I am horrible at screw alignment. Everything is starting to come together, I think. I really need to focus on my 'time management' because that is really hurting me. It's a constant push off system, which I loath deeply. "OH I'll wait until nap time" then nap time arrives "Well I have to be quiet so he doesn't wake up". Then once he wakes up nothing gets accomplished that I stated would during his nap time. I have a lot of self work I need to accomplish - in a good healthy way.

I'm having a inner debate about gender with baby #2. The husband talked me into not finding out gender with little man. I kind of want to have that experience again of knowing at the end. We already have names picked out and we already have a lot of left over baby stuff. I just need to really focus on a room decor and clothing. You see I had a feeling the whole pregnancy that I was having a boy & I was right . I'm pretty sure this little one is a girl but I'm apprehensive in starting to purchase clothing. This point in my pregnancy with little man I already had a whole mountain of things, we had already locked in on a theme.. I'm really slacking. So this morning I looked up the earliest you can find out gender and I'm tempted to make a 3d ultrasound appointment at 14 weeks and just KNOW the gender. If we are having a little girl I want to create this little pink butterfly oasis for her nursery and start picking out cute little dresses and leggings and headbands. Do I find out or not??

Speaking of pregnancy weeks - tomorrow I'll be 11 weeks preggo! Say what?! I feel like we just got told we were having a baby.. and now it's 11 weeks. I can't believe the first trimester is almost over! I'm so anxious to go back to my OB and hopefully get cleared of this placenta previa so I can go back to the gym! Gosh I miss the gym! I miss having a hour to myself and it makes you feel so much more centered. I got a lot more done in a day when I started my day off at the gym so hopefully this whole thing healed itself and we are back to normalish buisness.

Alright last thing.. with Christmas (my 2nd fav holiday of the year {Even though that could be debatedable by those around me}) I have no idea what to get my son for Christmas. He has everything already! I have no idea what an 18 month old could possibly ask Santa for. I got him the color crew plush crayons, a little people sail boat with a sailor, a couple of bouncy balls and a little tikes push car for his main gift. I already ordered and received his Christmas monogrammed pj's from #gentrycalifornia What else, or does he need anything else, I think he's good yea? Man Christmas is hard to do.. lost more respect for the "santa's" out there!  oh, I've got to find Stockings and a tree skirt for this year (so finding out gender before that purchase would be nice because lord knows it's so hard to find the same stocking patterns again).

Alright I'm out - we have a birthday party to attend tomorrow and then a movie date in the evening. Have a great weekend everyone & thank you for reading my posts.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

246 days

Today was a good day. I have a lot on my mind that I want to unload but we had a good day.
I met some ladies for coffee from the San Diego Chief Petty Officer Association & had a great time. It was nice to talk about our husbands, their different jobs, home life, and possibly some great fundraising opportunities. At some point I've got to branch out and make some new friends - so hopefully this is a good avenue because Lord knows I've been wrong before.
After we went for coffee, which lasted almost two full hours, we came home to relax. I had plans to get the house cleaned up more but of course that didn't happen. I've really got to buckle down and start cleaning this house. I for sure need to shampoo Little Man's room soon & that may be my for tomorrow and cinderella style clean the kitchen tile floor. Anyway I ended up talking to my brother while I put away laundry; which was great! After that I took a quick 1.5 hr nap with little man and then we went to a friends 1st birthday party. That was great! It was at this kids play zone that I have wanting to try and now that I saw how excited Little Man was there - we will be going back!

So while talking to my brother we started one of our really deep conversations. I was explaining that even though I understand my husbands job ( to a point ) and I understand why he fought to stay in San Diego. It was hard to not feel abandoned and angry. In 2015 when we were up for orders I begged my husband to pick a new place because I wanted to get the chance to travel to a different State. He fought to stay and then ended up on this precom that is being built in Maine. So now he is in Maine for the next handful of months while the ship is being built and I'm alone here in San Diego. So who really got what they wanted? It's hard to not feel angry, to not feel jaded, to not feel like he 'chose' to leave us - because he did. I also feel that with all the security stuff I don't really understand my husbands job. It's hard to not take that they goof around in a office all day and half ass work. It's also hard to understand the difficulty of a deployment when all they share are 'good ole time stories' from ports they've visited. So I do understand when a military wife gets upset that their husband is leaving to go 'party' for 8 months while we stay behind and run a household with no breaks. It's hard.
I also think because I have such a weak support system, or feel like I do, it's harder. I have prayed and prayed for a new group of friends. Then I started going to this Thursday church book club thing and then realized that those ladies weren't invested in me at all. I wanted to be missed or checked on and that hasn't happened. That made me very dishearted. Plus I've been going for three months and haven't made any head way with meeting any one person or building a kid playdate. Actually all the kiddo's had 1st birthday parties after little man and we weren't invited to one of them. That really really hurt my feelings. I also told them I'd be gone for two weeks because of the husband leaving and not one person has checked on us. Which again is really heartbreaking because I was really hoping I had found a great group. I'm going to conitnue to pray for good friends because we are really going to need some support these next 8-9 months.

Well Like I said i needed to unload. We don't have any plans for tomorrow and I'm praying I can get some deep cleaning done. Saturday we have another birthday party to attend but I've got to get on top of this deep house cleaning.. how many times can I say that in a post??

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

247 days

So just a little FYI - the countdown dates aren't exactly exact. Due to safety reasons the numbers have been altered higher or lower to offset the exact date of the ships arrival in San Diego. So.. with that being said ... lets get this day documented.

Today was a much better morning as far as Little man's wake up schedule and my own. We seemed to have woken up apx 10 min apart - so that made me feel a whole lot better. We got through breakfast and decided to have a 'home' day considering tomorrow is so busy. I had a list of  "to do's" to get done today and well let's just say that Friday will be much busier then expected. So after breakfast we 'attempted' an art project idea that I found on pinterest.
First off Little man didn't like the feel of the zip lock bag the paper was in. We also only used one color - orange for Halloween. So after a few minutes of trying to get him interested in the paint through the bag (I really need to make him so edible paints for). So after the paint I cleaned up the tray and him from breakfast and left the paper to dry for a moment. I thought the paper would be too saturated to remove it from the zip lock bag - so I let it dry. I let it dry a little too long because the paper was stuck to the zip lock bag and his picture ended up breaking in half. :( So if you try this project just remember that your child might not like the feel of the bag and remove your artwork once your baby had completed the project. I will try again for sure though.

After breakfast - which was a english muffin and strawberries for me- I became overwhelmed with nausea. Extremely overwhelmed. The nausea led to a headache and then body chills.. you know that goosebump off over your body feeling? So anyway my day was shot. Later in the morning I started experiencing diarrhea which absolutely freaked me out. {I have a reason for sharing this} After the fourth trip to the bathroom I called the Dr's office. I went to the store to get some fluids with electrolights (gatorade) and some kind of soup. The Dr's office called while at the store and the nurse explained that when you have morning sickness (nausea is considered part of morning sickness) that you don't get all the nutrients that you need. So when your body gets too low on the nutrients that you need and substitute the food for liquid you are prone to have diarrhea. She suggested that I eat chicken broth - straight chicken broth and delute the gatorade the remaining of today and tomorrow. I have spent the rest of the day laying around and trying to recover - the chicken broth was actually really good and I haven't had any issues from drinking it. It made my stomach feel so much better which helped me save my evening with Little man. I feel so horrible feeling bad because then I'm not giving 100% to little man and he really needs that right now. I know he doesn't understand what happened to Daddy and Mommy not being 100% has to be really confusing.

So other then that we didn't get a whole lot done today & like I said above we have a big day tomorrow. Hopefully we will be to get stuff done Friday because I really need to focus on getting this house dejunked and reorganized.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

248 days

So we made it through day 2.
Today started off really slow. I swear I need help hearing my kid wake up - he just gibber gabbers all early in the mornings. He woke up around 6:38 (according to the baby monitor) but I manged to not hear him for an hour. A whole hour. What kind of parent am I? Who doesn't hear their child talking and babbling for an hour? I know someone is going to have fun with this but I'm being real  & that really bothered me that I didn't hear my kid wake up. So have fun with that if you want.

I managed to do four loads of laundry - that aren't folded and put away - but they are clean. I did manage to fold my sons laundry and instead of putting it away during his nap - I took a shower. Anyway after he woke up he decided to throw all the clothes around the room & on the dog. That was fun to watch, no really it was, he is hysterical. He gets so excited over his little accomplishments even though it's a straight destruction of my hard work.

While doing the 3rd load of laundry one of my acrylic nails just fell off. I mean just fell the f off. Like it wasn't attached with super glue and some clear powder. Anyway we ended up waiting for second nap and then we ran to the nail salon. I got a new set of acrylic's put on and then we went to Target. I know I felt like a little house wife cliche too. We ended up picking one of the two gifts for birthday parties this weekend. I also scored some super cute shirts in 18m and 2T, which he isn't wearing yet, for $4.50 a shirt. Go me. After Target we went to Chipolte, another cliche I'm sure, for dinner. Once we arrived home we ate our dinner and got to talk to the husband.

The husband is doing good. We got to talk for a little bit, as I said, he even helped me pick out the birthday gift via text messaging. Which was a pretty high - high in my book. It was if he was with me. He mentioned that he liked that little man and I weren't just sitting at home but trust me it's harder to sit and home then it is to leave the house. At home his energy is still in the house and it's hard. Just this morning I was cleaning up the house, the trash needed to go out & I thought "oh I'll have Ben do that when he gets home". Just a super casual thought. POP. Later cleaning the master bath after my shower, amazing how those two coincide, I thought "oh I should have Ben clean out the litter box for me later". BAM. It just hits me over and over and over again.. he isn't coming home for 248 more days. He's not at work, he's not on a duty day.. he is gone. On deployment - just so that clarify because that could have been read totally different.

Tomorrow is a off day for us. NO plans. Thursday is a pretty big day for the both of us and then another off day for Friday. BUT hopefully we don't have a dull moment. The fact is we have been slowly dejunking the house. I have been going through the whole house and throwing anything and everything out that we haven't touched in 6 months or longer. So far I have really dulled down the master bedroom, where the majority of the junk is, and the future baby room. I gotta call 1800GOTJUNK to clear out some bigger items. So hopefully I get more of that done this week and get to the back yard before trash day on Monday. Agh! The anxiety of getting all of this stuff done!! Ok I'm off to fold three baskets of laundry and then off to bed I go.