Wednesday, February 24, 2021


The weeks just seem to fly by. 

Last weekend I asked the husband to start helping me more around the house. 

He heard that i wanted him do all the laundry and dishes and mop before he went to work. That's not what I said. I said I just wanted a little more help. 

It's so aggravating to not be heard. This guy I follow on Tiktok says that I gotta start pointing all the blame on myself instead of on my husband to make this work... so here we are gonna try.

He's been so extremely helpful these past two days but he is so miserable doing it. I can't tell you what a weight has been dropped by him doing the things I struggle doing - plus all the extra stuff. Like that FINALLY let little man go to school for a hour & a half today!! That was huge and totally new. So him helping with all the dishes and the laundry and mopping allowed me to get the bathrooms cleaned and the toys moved to the kids room - that I had been meaning to do. I just hate to see him be so unhappy for doing something, I feel, I really needed help with. 

Granted I also feel bad that he normally - always - gets up with the kids and I don't. The trade off is that I do the baths and put the kids to bed, while he plays online with his friends. I've always thought of that as really fair. Why? Because he falls asleep moments after getting in bed and it takes me HOURS. Some nights I can lay there until 2 or 3 am.. so getting up at 7 is stupid hard but if he gets over 8 hours of sleep I don't feel guilty sleeping until 9.
Now since I've had my wisdom teeth removed, Feb 12th,  I've been in a lot of pain and sleeping has been even harder. The pain meds wear off mid night and I have to wait a hour or longer to get the pain managed on top of already having issues falling to sleep. I thought he understood but he seems to have a issue with getting up with the kids every single day. 

We've somehow created this extreme form of resentment towards one another. Like, I can't seem to do or say anything that doesn't end up in a argument and vise versa. But do I make this stop? I am hella passive aggressive... like mean shit flies out of my mouth before I can stop it. I make rude comments about him not helping and only wanting to play his game. I do. I make rude comments about him not wanting to play with the kids and just stare at his phone. I do. I gotta stop doing that.
I get aggravated that he wont walk the dog when it's a lot harder for me then him. Harder meaning it's a chore I'm not getting done in exchange for this new one. The dog is 2 so it's not new... but it's also not getting done. IF I am usually doing all the things and he watches various TV shows and video's from his phone then he has time to walk the dog.
I also built a whole gym in my garage and hired a personal trainer in Jan.. have I completed a SINGLE workout?? nope! Because I don't have the time. but his resolve is.. If I get up when he does then I can go work out.. and that doesn't sit right to me. So me sleeping is a big issue, knowing I have such a hard time falling asleep, but me going to workout in that same timeslot isn't? My other option is going into the garage at 9pm and getting a workout in after the kids go to bed. Which would help me fall asleep and possibly flip my schedule.. so maybe I should start doing that. 

We made a deal to pay off all our debt; which isn't a whole hell of a lot. Basically our tax return and the stim pays off 85%. But the fact that a year ago we paid it all off with the sale of the house & here we are again.. I see his frustration and agitation. I think I use shopping to cope with the discontent but then it makes us worse. You'd think I'd listen to his main argument being that he can't stand debt but I see debt as a normal thing all people have. It wasn't until I started looking it up biblically that I really saw the bad.. plus we made an agreement. Our agreement was that we couldn't get divorced unless the debt was paid off b/c he couldn't afford two households... ya know.. child support and alimony. So either way I wanna get it all paid off.. I mean if it really makes him happier... why not?? 

I don't have any of the answers. All of this seems so silly and so controversial. He's had a love for his gaming and the need to be debt free. I've always been a spender & love to sleep. In Oklahoma City.. they have a tornado siren that goes off at noon... a tester.. and I remember at 20 that thing waking me up on my days off. We have very little that unites us too. I like books.. I don't really like movies or TV shows.. although I'm really loving WandaVision. I want to be out doing something.. or sitting outside soaking up the sun. I don't like time fillers the way that he does. I can't binge watch a season.. he has done this multiple times. I think the last show i binged watched was SOA when I was pregnant with little man. The thing is.. couples don't have to be that insync.

I'm not saying I want a divorce.. actually I don't.
I just want to be happy.
I don't want to fight everyday.
I especially don't want that to effect my kids the way it did me growing up. 
If this can't be fixed and we can't find a way to make this work then I wont have a choice.
We are both pretty miserable - I never see him smile anymore outside of his gaming and playing w the kids. He is a great Dad but we have a huge disconnect. 

Wednesday, February 17, 2021


 My life isn't a sad story.
It's a story about over coming.. prevailing.
Making good out of a shitty childhood.
Marriaging a man I shouldn't have because I didn't want to go back home.
Getting divorced.
Remarrying a man after moving to a whole new state.
Having 3 kids after being told I'd never have kids.
I'm a fighter.. I'm a stubborn fighter. 
I'm also a loaner. 

With that same fight mode I had 3 babies.. c-section babies.. while the husband was on deployment. I had to beg and borrow and really complain to get help. I did it all by myself. I raised 3 babies, got my oldest diagnosed with Autism and in therapies BY MY SELF. I have done things that I knew I could do AND did them by myself. Having my husband come back home has been a real power struggle. I want to hold the torch of not needing anyone and sometimes I get fighting mad that I do. I get mad that I let my guard down and allow people to be apart of my life. I get mad that I feel vulnerable to allow people in and then get hurt. My husband also has the mentality that b/c he's a MAN he's smarter and stronger and I should bow in his shadow. Being all happy to clean his clothes, birth his children and take care of his house while he plays on his phone and his xbox. It has breed a lot of hostility, resentment and anger.  I got married to have a partner.. a ying to my yang. Someone to help my dreams and goals bloom along with theirs.. but I just feel like I'm just 4 people's maid. 

My husband is a good man.. and I can do life on my own.. but that's not the point of being married. I got married to share my life with someone and then fight to keep it private. Self sabotage. But I find it really hard to do it all by myself and I let people in. Then I get disappointed b/c they don't treat me the way that I want them too. It's a vicious circle. BUT I'm not that self disciplined to be a loaner. So then I get upset that I'm all alone.. go looking for friends and the whole cycle begins again.  Truth. I've had friends for over 20 years.. the same friends. My current best friends for almost 10 years.. So I am a good friend. I love whole heartedly. If I let you in.. I let you in. 

I love trucks and Jeeps. I love baseball caps. I love eye lashes and manicured nails. I love scuffed and ripped jeans. I love tank tops and sports bras. I love bathing suits. I love beer with lime. I love flip flops and hooped earrings. I love music.. as long as it isn't heavy metal. I love organization - so a clean tidy house is impossible but important to me. I'm a brand snob and especially love Victoria Secret. I love margaritas on the rocks. I love tacos and steaks. I love working out and I love reading. I like wearing dresses but prefer my jeans. I like planning events and I'm really big on birthday's. 

stay with me on this ride.. I swear it's not as dark of a road as you think. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2021


 My therapist says I should journal. So here I go 

This all started after we moved almost a year ago. 

The fighting gets so bad. 

We just fight all the time. 

The thing is outside of the kids I don't know why we are married. So fast forward a couple months and I decided to rip the band aide off. I want out. I started looking for houses in Oklahoma where I can move with my 3 kids. When we fight he turns into this narcassistic jerk.. I'm not perfect. I'm faaaar from perfect and I know that I have thrown jabs in with the punches SO I'm not laying all the blame at his feet. I just want a partner. Yea he helps with the kids.. b/c it's like two ships moving in the night in the same waters. We are so polar opposite and everything that is is said is so fueled that you can't even joke. Some days are lighter then others. 

My therapist says I shouldn't make a move without really thinking. That moving in an emotional state is really dangerous. I reached out to a therapist for a couple of reasons.. 

1. complaining & asking for martial guidance is ruining my relationships. It has ruined a couple so far and that makes me sad. Some reasons are b/c people don't feel like i am listening but I am. People think I'm crazy for staying.. maybe I am but I'm choosing what I feel is best after hearing everyone's advice. The original plan was to leave with this next stimulus and and tax return. 

2. Is that in front of other people you'd never know. Plus he does some great things but they annoy the f out of me. So I really wanted to make sure that I'm not 100% of the problem. I honestly don't think i know what "being happy" is. I'm pretty sure that is the cause of #1.... people get tired of complaining. 

3. I am very VERY TRIGGERED. I can go from sweet and nice to super passive aggressive in a snap. I have a tendency to think people are always being to rude to me (which I do believe) and I'm tired of being the nice guy. I'm tired of feeling like I buy someone's affection or that people hand with me b/c of a Crisis mode. 

4. I already feel like a single parent with 3 kids. I already feel like I do this life alone. I already feel like I fail before I start. I'm tired of feeling that way. I'm tired of juggling life by myself and then 'get in trouble' for buying a new trampoline net (true story). I'm tired of trying to find happiness that isn't coming. 

My husband helps with our kids, he runs errands, he'll change a diaper.. but he'd rather be in his room playing video games. So everything is a rush to get to the games. Why don't i sell it?  Because he's a grown man who can purchase another one. I'm not his parent. We should be potty training but we can't agree on anything to get the job done.. so it's either all of me or nothing. Which all of these little 'failures' add up and it makes me super crazy. I want my house to be clean and I want the dog to get walked everyday and  I want a partner. 

Know what.. instead of taking charge of my life.. here I am sitting in bed whining. I absolutely hate feeling this way. I hate feeling so alone. I hate feeling like everything I say or do is wrong. Why? I am really annoyed with how all of this has just played out. It's like I can see the crazy storm heading my way and I just can't get out of the way. Did I mention being alone? 

So I met these awesome ladies in my neighborhood. I finally had adult friends. It was awesome until I realized that they were having conversations without me. I don't know why that triggered me the way it did. Then I realized that one of the neighbors kept making comments about flirting with her husband. Like ok.. yes I did friend request him via facebook, yes - I stopped and would say hi while walking dog but it made me a feel a certain kinda way - like I was doing something wrong. SO I went to my "friend" about how I felt.. it blew up in my face. SO now they wont talk to me, people I didn't even talk to are reaching out with text messages about how shitty my life is.. about how they are all terrified of my husband. it's so fucked up in so many ways. I just wanted friends.. I just wanted to be transparent about my life and people understand ... but it blew up in my face.  I'm highly annoyed. 

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Partner compassion

Right now with the world falling apart. With riots, face masks, crazy political propaganda & the world coming out of a 2 month hibernation... shit be crazy y'all. So I'm gonna create a dual post about uplifting our partners because we all could use some encouragement.

Men. Right now your women need you more then ever. I'm sure you think I'm about to talk about the kids being home... nope. In today's society physical manipulation is everywhere! False eye lashes, hair extensions, 3 pounds of makeup and contouring. All the you-tube video's teaching us how to slim our waists with slips, creams to remove bags under out eyes. It's a crazy world. Don't get me wrong some of these things I listed are nice and fun. I love my false eye lashes, I love my primer, and I love spanx. Here is what I propose. Start telling her how beautiful she looks when she doesn't have makeup on. Start wrapping her arms around her waist before the spanx goes on. Comment on little outfits she wears and little shirts she wears you like so much. Now.. if you haven't been doing this.. she's gonna roll her eyes and brush you off. She might even claim to have a 'headache' the moment you start your complements but stay diligent because she's listening.  On you way home grab her favorite bottle of wine, or starbucks drink or favorite bag of chips. Like that simple. Tell her how cute she looks when you know she feels a mess, make a pot of coffee and let her enjoy a warm cup. Take a joint shower after the kids go to bed and just wash her back; which is my favorite things after a long day. Maybe pop a bag of popcorn after the kids go to bed and watch a show with her with your phone off. You don't have to say a word, wrap a blanket over the two of you and just relax. Those little moments are so crucial after a rough day. Women have a lot of pressure. We have a ton of people telling us all how we are doing shit wrong, how old we look, how we aren't keeping up with life. As our significant other.. just take a moment to breath life back into us. We are very over touched and over censored right now because of our spawn. So don't do all this coping a feel because you'll lose your hard work - but if you are doing it right she'll respond to your passes. You know your girl. Think about those things she liked and likes. Showing you are paying attention means the world.

Ladies. Give yourself some grace. You are juggling ALOT right now. It's a ton or stress and most of us are going crazy. Don't forget about your husbands. Remember they are stressed out too. Remember to give your husbands a extra hug, a genuine smile, and compliment them on something positive. I think we forget how amazing our men are. Maybe he gets up on Saturday's with the babies. Maybe he always remembers the trash or empties out the dishwasher. Maybe he takes care of the laundry on the weekends or helps you change out the washer/dryer. Maybe he's completed his honey list, maybe he's come home and given you 20 min to yourself so you can hide in the closet. Whatever those little things are.. make sure you say thank you. I don't mean they need to end up between the sheets thank you's but something sweet and simple. My husband really appreciates when I acknowledge something that he has done to help me..

With all the uncertainty right now.. we need to remember to be kind and generous to our loved ones. The best way to keep the tension down in our homes is to give grace to one another and love each other through this crazy year. I can't begin to explain how important this all is. Call your parents, grandparents, siblings... spread some laughs and remember to tell our important people that they are loved. I hope everyone is doing good. Keep your heads up guys.... we are halfway through this crazy year...

Sunday, March 29, 2020

I gots a new address ya'll

Praise the powers that be.. we moved!!
Zillow was a absolute bust and a joke but they put us in contact with an amazing Realtor group. That realtor group listed our old house the weekend after we moved out and we got a above asking offer! We are currently in Escrow.
Peeps.. I love this house. I love every single thing about it. I, honestly, adore every tiny detail. We have cabinet space for days. We now have a laundry room to as before I shared it with the garage. Our backyard is massive. A playground directly across the street. Our neighbors seem so nice & it's quiet. Our driveway fits both trucks. Our back wall is all window and a huge sliding back door.. I'm just in love. The bedrooms are just perfect. 
Little girl wanted to share a room with her brothers.. so we have a double and twin bed in one room. They love it.. which left us with a extra room. We haven't decided what to do with that but guys.. we went from a 4 bedroom to a 3 and still have a extra room.

We moved in March 6th .. so we are still kinda tweeking spaces and unpacking. The husband has been home one weekend so far.. it's been stressful moving in but hey.. I'm so incredibly thankful that we moved. I'm so incredibly thankful that he listened to me and did this. I couldn't be happier. It's smaller then our old house but it's so nice. The kids are outside all the time and we can walk the quiet neighborhood. 

I'll have to post pictures soon as we get a little more settled. Unpacking with 3 misplaced kids is NOT for the faint of heart. My middle kiddo keeps asking when we are getting "new" house. He says every now and again "ok guys lets go home" meaning the old house. I absolutely do NOT miss the old house. I thought I'd have some sad residual feelings and I do not. We packed up on a Friday and poof we were gone. It's been so steady and I feel this is where we are meant to be. 

In a couple weeks I'll try to post more pictures. I'm so happy we moved. I'm so happy to be out of that old house. I'm so happy we are in Escrow with the old house. I'm so excited for what is to come. 

Tuesday, January 28, 2020


I've been keeping my emotions off facebook.
I've been silently dying to scream from the roof tops that we are very highly possibly MOVING!
Can I just stop and tell you that every fiber of my being is holding it's breath. Can I tell you that I've stopped a thousand and one times stopped and prayed this all falls together. I'm even going to admit that my closet is already full of packed boxes & I'm not stopping. 

You guys all know my Van was stolen out of my drive way in August. Since then I can't seem to shake the unnerving sense that we aren't safe. Then my husband came up for new orders and I panicked. what if we aren't safe? what happens if this happens again? how do i protect my little family? what if all the bad happens while he is gone & I'm all alone? 

 After searching and searching for houses in such a inflated market we found that we can't afford to move. I was heart broken. I started searching alarms, self defense classes, and even our Cali gun laws. I visited a new friend at her house a couple weeks ago, pulling in her driveway a light bulb went off.  We could sell our house and move into military housing!
 I walked through her house and saw all the potential in the world. I couldn't get home fast enough to blurt this all out. My thoughts were a mile a moment as I pitched my biggest sale to my husband. It took about two whole weeks of constantly bringing up the PROS b/c it also comes with the cons.
Then I prayed. 

After a very long prayer sesh, in my truck, I came home to my husband saying that he has agreed to 'look into it'. Which lead us to contact a zillow affiliate to do a cash offer for our home. We have been waiting to put in the paperwork for the housing until we figure out our house. Tomorrow we get our preliminary offer & it's looking very very promising. Then they do a 'walk thru' and give us a offer. All of which should be done in the next week.

If everything falls into place we will be moving a very short time span... weeks.. like quick. So fingers crossed this all works out.

I just want to add.. that while it may seem extreme to someone.. that I want to throw our equity out the door to rent.. I just wanna say that my peace of mind and comfort is worth WAY more then a mortgage payment. I don't think I need to justify to anyone .. that it was just a vehicle. That it was replaced and that should be that. My sense of safety for my family has been shaken & I feel in my bones that that is the RIGHT decision for us right now.
 It's not forever, but this is going to be our next chapter. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2020


Ever wake up and you just feel meh?
Like it doesn't matter if you clean the house or sit on the couch.. the outcome is the same.
 I mean logically that's not the case but my head space stays the same.
I doesn't matter if I put on make up and stay in my jammies all day.
 It doesn't matter if I nurse a cup of coffee for three hours
Some mornings I want to throw my responsibilities out the window, throw my kids in my truck and go to the park.
We have the time.. but I can't justify it b/c what I put off today I'll have to do tomorrow.
I hate days like this.
I know all days aren't happy go lucky - rainbow and puppies.. but man.

I think more and more parents feel this way. Alone and trapped by their own responsibilities .. wanting to play hookie from the demands.
I'm also at the point that I hate things by myself.
Sure a massage sounds great.. a hour alone.. alone.
Nail salon.. same thing.
Movie theater.. same thing.
Packing my kids up for a Starbucks drink... not as satisfying as it used to be.

What are things you do to break the funk?
How do you recreate a positive head space when you are down and blue?
How do you fight back and regain control?

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

'walk it out'

In 2018 I was diagnossed with Osteiitis Dessicans & in 2019 I was diagnosed with Diastasis Recti. 

Osteiitis Dessicans  is is a joint condition in which bone underneath the cartilage of a joint dies due to lack of blood flow. This bone and cartilage can then break loose, causing pain and possibly hindering joint motion.

Diastasis Recti description  "is 
Chalk it up to hormones and your ever-expanding uterus, says Kevin Brenner, M.D., F.A.C.S., a board certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon based in Beverly Hills. "During the gestational period of pregnancy, connective tissue called the linea alba thins out in response to a mother's change in hormone levels in order to accommodate the enlarging uterus. This is one important way that a mother's body changes to allow a baby to grow in utero," he says. Once you've delivered your baby, and your hormone levels return to their pre-pregnancy levels, that thinnging generally improves. Bun in many cases, Dr Brenner says, the tissues get so stretched out during pregnancy that they lose their elasticity and therefore, the ability to retract back into position - kind of like a overstretched rubber band."

So basically my back over compensated for my stomach muscles not being strong enough. BUT my back pain started when I had my 2nd kid .. not my 3rd like they keep saying. I was in horrible pain during my 3rd pregnancy.. and the Osteiitis Dessicans is why.. but I wasn't diagnosed with that until AFTER my daughter was born. To add to that I have a siatica nerve that is pinched in my left hip and after months of physical therapy they realized my hips are now tilted. And this is why will not be having a 4th baby. I do not feel my body is strong enough to carry the pregnancy and that makes me really sad because I'd love to add another baby to our family. 

So I stay in a lot of pain between my back a lot.. but I've been determined to overcome this. I have been in PT for a minute and it's starting to help. I feel like my will is stronger then the pain. I can't just keep living on Tylenol and I have to get back in shape for my kids.. yo.. it's a bitch trying to keep up with these kids. Keeping up with the house is a painful toll but I do it. I sleep with a heating pad.. it helps the muscles.

We also agreed to take the kids to Disneyland in April for everyone's birthday's. I'm NOT throwing another birthday party anytime soon. Now I'm starting to really re-think Disneyland b/c I don't know if I can walk this whole park for three days! So I decided to start walking with the two little's in the morning.. but damn is it hard to get going. I come up with every excuse under the books.. it's cold, the kids aren't going to cooperate, I need to get maze before I start b/c of creepo's, if I go then stuff around the house isn't going to get done..but I've got to do this or I might as well not even purchase our tickets. I did purchase a elliptical in Nov and a home gym.. I'm not allowed to use the elliptical just yet and we haven't put the home gym together.. but I bought them to help me work on this. I've got to put that strength back into core and allow my back muscles to get a little break. 

I know it takes 21 days to break a habit.. but starting is the hardest.. and I'm having the hardest time starting.... it's a little late now .. (see) but I'm going to set up my day for tomorrow.. because I have to start doing this.. have too.  Wish me luck!

Any tips or tricks.. send them my way.. 

Sunday, December 29, 2019

2019.. let it go..

What a year yo! 
We wrapped up 2018 with a trip to WA for the Christmas break.
We were driving back right after the New Year. 

When I go back through the months via pictures you can vividly see how our life slowly changed. 
it's crazy.. really. My little baby in the beginning of 2019 is now a toddler.

Last Feb my son flushed a rubber duck down our toilet and it cost us a new toilet. That's funny now. 


We took the kids 'sledding' & rented our first Air BNB in early March. That was a blast! My friends birthday.. the kids loved the snow, surrounded by our Navy friends.. in the SNOW. Man I love snow. 
we threw a joint birthday party for my 1 and 2 yr old. 
Nobody came. My girls came & celebrated my kids.
 I was so hurt & swore off birthday parties. 
This year we are celebrating all 3 in Disney. 
So I did learn. We got a bouncy house that my boys still talk about. 
OH and we got our first Golden Retriever - ROLLIE

Our Roomies moved out. 
We decided to get new floors and started spending weekends at Home Depot.
 We went to the zoo, alot, in our new quad stroller! 
We spent weeks looking for those damn Starbucks changing color cups. 
I also discovered Wal-Mart order pickup service... hmm heaven.

We went to the zoo a bunch!
We ordered our flooring.
We got a BIG above ground pool.
We started ripping our our old flooring! 

We started putting in our new flooring,
We ordered our sinks, counters and backsplash
I got a new i-watch b/c it fell off at a trip to Home Depot.
We used our bathtub as a kitchen sink & it was god awful.

**my two besties BOTH moved to WA & I lost my marbles.
Fell into a deep depression, resented everyone and everything - & absolutely nobody noticed.
 Good times.
We got our counters installed & our sink
Our backsplash came incorrect. 
My van was stolen out of our driveway in the middle of the reno -
adding to my resentment and depression - not that anyone noticed.
Officially nutty.

I was able to purchase my Chevy truck after the Van was found & totaled.
Somehow pulled myself out of my funk but continues to avoid people.
That was the most stressful situation I have ever encountered.
I've never felt so alone & powerless in my life.

We did our first official family trick or treating as Toy Story.
Realized I chased my brother & decided to stop.
Still was in a funk and avoided people.
Got my bedliner for my truck & added a flowmaster to the exhaust.
Started to feel better but very different.
 Good different. Empowered different.

Yo.. I don't give a f... Like at my lowest of lows I pulled myself back up because of my kids.
 My kids need me.. at least that's what I tell myself.
I don't want to be a frumpy house wife.. I want to be more.
I want to be strong and show my kids - my daughter - that I'm strong.
I don't need a man to hold me up. 
I don't invite people to shit no more and nobody invites us to shit .. lonely yo
I had this awakening and I don't care about nothing except my littles.

Had a VERY blessed and amazing Christmas.
We did it all. All the Christmas stuff. 
All the cookies. All the love.. 

** I know this took a crazy turn in August.. but for real. 
I was so low that I could barely get dressed or take a shower. 
I for real was lower then low. 
Not one person stepped up and helped me up. 
My husband just let me be & I swear that helped & broke me at the same time. 
I have never felt so alone, low and lost in my life. 
Here I am though.. I know people snicker when I say my truck saved my life.. but yo.. it did. 
It gave me a voice, it gave me strength.. it made me feel strong. 
When I had nobody else to lean on and these precious babies leaning on me.. man I found my strength. I also found my strength in prayer. I pray.. man I pray. 
I pray God gives me friends & he did. 3 strong women who always have my back when I let them. I hide feelings alot.. but I pray for self worth, strength, remindes me what is important.. 
I don't chase nobody. 
The truth can be dark so I wont apologize 


2020 is going to be wonderful! It's going to be full of growth and life. 
It's going to be a lot of reflection and learning. So here is to the New Year.. the chance to make some great changes, memories, decisions. A chance to appreciate the great people in my life that have been by my side - even by a distance. I'm going to keep climbing that mountain.. here I go! 


Monday, December 23, 2019

Merry Christmas EVE EVE..

I just can't believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve for 2019!
 I mean I'm so happy to see this year be gone but man... it just flew by; sorta. 

I got all our gifts wrapped:
((I swear I'm going to finish painting our bathroom soon.. don't judge. lol))

We got pictures with Santa. 

We made sugar cookies galore: 

I think we did good! We got our tree up & the house with lights.
  ((yes the tree is 1/3 decorated b/c kids))

I think we are blessed beyond measure & I'm incredibly thankful for all the 2019 taught us. I'm thankful that my husband didn't deploy at all this year. I'm also incredibly thankful that we aren't pregnant... lol.. nor do I plan on being again. I'm so proud of my elliptical and home gym purchase so I can workout at home. I'm also so insanely thankful my minivan was stolen and totaled and gave me the chance to purchase my beautiful Chevy. I am so in love with her. 

I am ready to ring in the New Year. 
I am ready for all the new lessons and trials & triumphs that comes with 2020. We have a lot of plans for next year - My sister fly's in & we are going to Disneyland. We are talking about a trip to Texas and I think we are going to Washington again next Christmas to be with our friends.

From my family to yours.. I pray you have a very blessed, safe and full filled holiday.