Wednesday, January 15, 2020


Ever wake up and you just feel meh?
Like it doesn't matter if you clean the house or sit on the couch.. the outcome is the same.
 I mean logically that's not the case but my head space stays the same.
I doesn't matter if I put on make up and stay in my jammies all day.
 It doesn't matter if I nurse a cup of coffee for three hours
Some mornings I want to throw my responsibilities out the window, throw my kids in my truck and go to the park.
We have the time.. but I can't justify it b/c what I put off today I'll have to do tomorrow.
I hate days like this.
I know all days aren't happy go lucky - rainbow and puppies.. but man.

I think more and more parents feel this way. Alone and trapped by their own responsibilities .. wanting to play hookie from the demands.
I'm also at the point that I hate things by myself.
Sure a massage sounds great.. a hour alone.. alone.
Nail salon.. same thing.
Movie theater.. same thing.
Packing my kids up for a Starbucks drink... not as satisfying as it used to be.

What are things you do to break the funk?
How do you recreate a positive head space when you are down and blue?
How do you fight back and regain control?

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

'walk it out'

In 2018 I was diagnossed with Osteiitis Dessicans & in 2019 I was diagnosed with Diastasis Recti. 

Osteiitis Dessicans  is is a joint condition in which bone underneath the cartilage of a joint dies due to lack of blood flow. This bone and cartilage can then break loose, causing pain and possibly hindering joint motion.

Diastasis Recti description  "is 
Chalk it up to hormones and your ever-expanding uterus, says Kevin Brenner, M.D., F.A.C.S., a board certified plastic and reconstructive surgeon based in Beverly Hills. "During the gestational period of pregnancy, connective tissue called the linea alba thins out in response to a mother's change in hormone levels in order to accommodate the enlarging uterus. This is one important way that a mother's body changes to allow a baby to grow in utero," he says. Once you've delivered your baby, and your hormone levels return to their pre-pregnancy levels, that thinnging generally improves. Bun in many cases, Dr Brenner says, the tissues get so stretched out during pregnancy that they lose their elasticity and therefore, the ability to retract back into position - kind of like a overstretched rubber band."

So basically my back over compensated for my stomach muscles not being strong enough. BUT my back pain started when I had my 2nd kid .. not my 3rd like they keep saying. I was in horrible pain during my 3rd pregnancy.. and the Osteiitis Dessicans is why.. but I wasn't diagnosed with that until AFTER my daughter was born. To add to that I have a siatica nerve that is pinched in my left hip and after months of physical therapy they realized my hips are now tilted. And this is why will not be having a 4th baby. I do not feel my body is strong enough to carry the pregnancy and that makes me really sad because I'd love to add another baby to our family. 

So I stay in a lot of pain between my back a lot.. but I've been determined to overcome this. I have been in PT for a minute and it's starting to help. I feel like my will is stronger then the pain. I can't just keep living on Tylenol and I have to get back in shape for my kids.. yo.. it's a bitch trying to keep up with these kids. Keeping up with the house is a painful toll but I do it. I sleep with a heating pad.. it helps the muscles.

We also agreed to take the kids to Disneyland in April for everyone's birthday's. I'm NOT throwing another birthday party anytime soon. Now I'm starting to really re-think Disneyland b/c I don't know if I can walk this whole park for three days! So I decided to start walking with the two little's in the morning.. but damn is it hard to get going. I come up with every excuse under the books.. it's cold, the kids aren't going to cooperate, I need to get maze before I start b/c of creepo's, if I go then stuff around the house isn't going to get done..but I've got to do this or I might as well not even purchase our tickets. I did purchase a elliptical in Nov and a home gym.. I'm not allowed to use the elliptical just yet and we haven't put the home gym together.. but I bought them to help me work on this. I've got to put that strength back into core and allow my back muscles to get a little break. 

I know it takes 21 days to break a habit.. but starting is the hardest.. and I'm having the hardest time starting.... it's a little late now .. (see) but I'm going to set up my day for tomorrow.. because I have to start doing this.. have too.  Wish me luck!

Any tips or tricks.. send them my way.. 

Sunday, December 29, 2019

2019.. let it go..

What a year yo! 
We wrapped up 2018 with a trip to WA for the Christmas break.
We were driving back right after the New Year. 

When I go back through the months via pictures you can vividly see how our life slowly changed. 
it's crazy.. really. My little baby in the beginning of 2019 is now a toddler.

Last Feb my son flushed a rubber duck down our toilet and it cost us a new toilet. That's funny now. 


We took the kids 'sledding' & rented our first Air BNB in early March. That was a blast! My friends birthday.. the kids loved the snow, surrounded by our Navy friends.. in the SNOW. Man I love snow. 
we threw a joint birthday party for my 1 and 2 yr old. 
Nobody came. My girls came & celebrated my kids.
 I was so hurt & swore off birthday parties. 
This year we are celebrating all 3 in Disney. 
So I did learn. We got a bouncy house that my boys still talk about. 
OH and we got our first Golden Retriever - ROLLIE

Our Roomies moved out. 
We decided to get new floors and started spending weekends at Home Depot.
 We went to the zoo, alot, in our new quad stroller! 
We spent weeks looking for those damn Starbucks changing color cups. 
I also discovered Wal-Mart order pickup service... hmm heaven.

We went to the zoo a bunch!
We ordered our flooring.
We got a BIG above ground pool.
We started ripping our our old flooring! 

We started putting in our new flooring,
We ordered our sinks, counters and backsplash
I got a new i-watch b/c it fell off at a trip to Home Depot.
We used our bathtub as a kitchen sink & it was god awful.

**my two besties BOTH moved to WA & I lost my marbles.
Fell into a deep depression, resented everyone and everything - & absolutely nobody noticed.
 Good times.
We got our counters installed & our sink
Our backsplash came incorrect. 
My van was stolen out of our driveway in the middle of the reno -
adding to my resentment and depression - not that anyone noticed.
Officially nutty.

I was able to purchase my Chevy truck after the Van was found & totaled.
Somehow pulled myself out of my funk but continues to avoid people.
That was the most stressful situation I have ever encountered.
I've never felt so alone & powerless in my life.

We did our first official family trick or treating as Toy Story.
Realized I chased my brother & decided to stop.
Still was in a funk and avoided people.
Got my bedliner for my truck & added a flowmaster to the exhaust.
Started to feel better but very different.
 Good different. Empowered different.

Yo.. I don't give a f... Like at my lowest of lows I pulled myself back up because of my kids.
 My kids need me.. at least that's what I tell myself.
I don't want to be a frumpy house wife.. I want to be more.
I want to be strong and show my kids - my daughter - that I'm strong.
I don't need a man to hold me up. 
I don't invite people to shit no more and nobody invites us to shit .. lonely yo
I had this awakening and I don't care about nothing except my littles.

Had a VERY blessed and amazing Christmas.
We did it all. All the Christmas stuff. 
All the cookies. All the love.. 

** I know this took a crazy turn in August.. but for real. 
I was so low that I could barely get dressed or take a shower. 
I for real was lower then low. 
Not one person stepped up and helped me up. 
My husband just let me be & I swear that helped & broke me at the same time. 
I have never felt so alone, low and lost in my life. 
Here I am though.. I know people snicker when I say my truck saved my life.. but yo.. it did. 
It gave me a voice, it gave me strength.. it made me feel strong. 
When I had nobody else to lean on and these precious babies leaning on me.. man I found my strength. I also found my strength in prayer. I pray.. man I pray. 
I pray God gives me friends & he did. 3 strong women who always have my back when I let them. I hide feelings alot.. but I pray for self worth, strength, remindes me what is important.. 
I don't chase nobody. 
The truth can be dark so I wont apologize 


2020 is going to be wonderful! It's going to be full of growth and life. 
It's going to be a lot of reflection and learning. So here is to the New Year.. the chance to make some great changes, memories, decisions. A chance to appreciate the great people in my life that have been by my side - even by a distance. I'm going to keep climbing that mountain.. here I go! 


Monday, December 23, 2019

Merry Christmas EVE EVE..

I just can't believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve for 2019!
 I mean I'm so happy to see this year be gone but man... it just flew by; sorta. 

I got all our gifts wrapped:
((I swear I'm going to finish painting our bathroom soon.. don't judge. lol))

We got pictures with Santa. 

We made sugar cookies galore: 

I think we did good! We got our tree up & the house with lights.
  ((yes the tree is 1/3 decorated b/c kids))

I think we are blessed beyond measure & I'm incredibly thankful for all the 2019 taught us. I'm thankful that my husband didn't deploy at all this year. I'm also incredibly thankful that we aren't pregnant... lol.. nor do I plan on being again. I'm so proud of my elliptical and home gym purchase so I can workout at home. I'm also so insanely thankful my minivan was stolen and totaled and gave me the chance to purchase my beautiful Chevy. I am so in love with her. 

I am ready to ring in the New Year. 
I am ready for all the new lessons and trials & triumphs that comes with 2020. We have a lot of plans for next year - My sister fly's in & we are going to Disneyland. We are talking about a trip to Texas and I think we are going to Washington again next Christmas to be with our friends.

From my family to yours.. I pray you have a very blessed, safe and full filled holiday. 

Monday, November 25, 2019

all about the benjamin's baby

I'm 38 bitches!! 

Hello new earthly year! 
This year it's going to be all about being selfish & the benjamin's. 
I'm going to buckle down and really try to save. No, I wanna be as frugal as fudge, which is absolutely NOT in my nature. I think we've hit the age with our kids to be outside more, we decided to take the kids to Disney for a all inclusive 3 day birthday celebration. 
(you get a day, you get a day and you get a day!)  I got all 3 kids Mickey (and 1 Minnie)  Mouse Junior Cruiser 'bikes' from Santa /// shhhh. My goal is to take them to this cute little walking trail by the house and let them run over strangers while I attempt to 'walk'. 
You're Welcome! 
I've already limited my whole wardrobe to workout attire, since all I do is either run errands or clean the house. I do shake things up with switching between my 6 yr old Nikes and 2 yr old flip flops. Occasionally I throw my fake ugg boots on.. So I think we could manage keeping up with some Mickey & Minnie high flyer's.. oh yea.. 

Part of the selfish portion of this is getting more active.
I've already been collecting weights and kettlebells. I've also aquired a couple stretch bands too. 
 I want to be out of the house more. I'd like to make it to the park so I can get a little exercise in. I am trying really hard to talk myself into a elliptical but the husband said it would just become a fancy clothing hanging device.. but I really waaaaaaaaannt one. 

 I'm going to try with every fiber in my being to not walk into a Target... yep I said it. I swear I get charged a $200 cover fee for just walking in.. so if I can't send the hubby.. then no Target. I know that's extreme but he has WAY better self control then I do. Well he doesn't get caught up by boots for our daughter (that she grew out of 3 weeks later) or themed t-shirts for the kids (bc thanksgiving is a holiday too - yo) and for sure isn't going to buy the 337th coffee mug I DIDN'T NEED. 

I'm sure I'll add more to my list but for right now this is the directions i'm going in.. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

November's menu

Let me say that I never in a million years thought I'd live off of lists to organize my life. I followed this facebook page that stated that making lists are a waste of time. To that I fully disagree b/c my life runs on lists. Cleaning lists, shopping lists, to do lists, to call lists and what to cook lists. Like all things - it takes a moment to create, to put into place and to get used to using. I'm not prefect but if I can grab an extra 20 min to spend with my kids or kick back and relax.. it's thanks to a list I followed.

I started creating a menu for everyday of the week.I got tired of buying food we didn't use and staring at the frig at 5pm trying to figure out what to make for dinner.  It has made my grocery list and my days so much easier. So I decided to share the 9 days I've done so far.. and some future ones if you'd like to follow along. All of the recipes, majority, are on my pinterest page under "food".. but I'll link them in for ya.

4th - Crispy Chicken Cobb Salad
5th - Tacos
6th - Steak & Veggies
7th - Pot Roast
8th - Frozen pizza
9th - Pioneer Women's Pot Roast
10th - Chicken & Bacon Pasta 
11th - Spaghetti & Meatballs
12th - Frozen meal
13th - Creamy Shrimp & Mushroom Pasta

14th - Steak & Veggies
15th - Frozen Pizza
16th - Skinny Fajita Soup
17th - Frozen meal
18th - Insta Pot Tuscan Chicken Pot
19th - Chicken Ceaser Salad
20th - Chicken Avocado Burrito
21st - Hamburger Beef Stew
22nd - Frozen Pizza
23rd  - Crock Pot Been & Broccoli
24th - Hamburgers

I did the whole month up until Dec 4th.. but I'll leave this until after the 18th and I'll add the next months' worth. We do pizza Friday's because my son got approved for his new therapy so it's a long day. I also included Frozen meals.. which could also be 'left over' days .. but we buy already pre-made meals that you either stick in the oven or warm it up in a fryer pan. If we skip a day b/c we end up eating out then we do that day the next day and it all just slides over.

Try it out.. let me know what you think! Try a recipe? Let me know how you liked it! Have a fav? Share it with me so I can add it to my menu...

Thursday, November 7, 2019

Life n Music

My world can seem so crowded with negativity and surrounded by even more tasks and voices. There are days I just need a music day. Ya know the kind.. where you plug your music in and just let it all out. The thoughtful songs, the teary ones, the happy dance around the house ones.. the music that speaks to you. I have been doing this quite often recently I love a house filled with music so I turn on the music channel and listen while I do my chores. It makes me so happy and carefree and sometimes I find a new song hidden without those tunes.

If you follow me on Facebook.. then you have seen that I am sharing a song a day this month.. well until my birthday. It's because Halloween made me realize everything about what I am doing is wrong. Chasing the wrong people. Not appreciating the ones who are in my life. Filling my day with drama and negativity and just blah.. so I decided to flip the switch. These have been a great 7 days!!

I sent flowers to my sister & my best friend. I bought someone's coffee behind me a couple of days this week. All because I feel people feel so devalued.. I want to make someone smile for a moment. While at Target yesterday I was being super cheecky with the checker. She seemed so bored and blaaa .. SO I got really animated about how I only came for 4 items and walked out with 20. I stressed that only 4 items a couple of times.. then talked about how the bulls eye is hypnotic... she laughed and laughed. It seemed genuine and it made me feel really good. 

I don't really have an event planned a day.. I just pray on it until the idea comes to me.. or that voice says "buy the coffee for the person behind you". If I can't find someone outside my house then I just flood my husband with silly stuff.  Because I undervalue my husband A LOT. He's annoying and comes across like a 14 yr old boy with his xbox but I do undervalue him.

With my meal planning, house cleaning and song a day schedule I've created a bit of free time I didn't have before. I am really happy with the way this week has turned out so far. I hope I keep it going. I don't know what I'm going to do this coming week but I'm sure I need to spice it up a notch. I was actually thinking of buying 20 blankets off amazon to hand out to our homeless community. I do want to buy someone's Thanksgiving turkey .. or a couple of people... but I'm going to have to really think about those items.

We have a friend hosting a early Thanksgiving dinner this weekend & we are bringing two side dishes. I'm thinking I might pick her up some flowers since she has been a good friend. I'm sure it will come to me as I keep praying over it

In my next post I'm going to share my months menu with you guys in case someone else is interested in meal planning and because I'm super proud of myself. Most of my recipes are on my pinterest board so I'll try to add links.

Thanks for reading!!! Leave a comment below to let me know you stopped by!!

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Gobblins and Candy.

One of the worst fails in our time is forgetting your phone. I did that. I also couldn't take pictures of my adorable dressed up kids on Halloween. Thankfully someone took pitty on the situation and hooked us up with a couple. Because we all know .. if you don't post it, with pictures to prove it, it didn't happen. (insert eye roll)

Halloween wasn't this great event I thought it was going to be. Actually it was really bad for me. But I don't want to get in to that but I will say that I cried a lot that night and the next day. a lot. I was a really big breaking point for me and I'm still a little raw but I will be so much stronger moving forward .. and that's all I wanna say.

BUT we did get pictures.. from one of my brothers friends.. he sent them to my husband.

We were the Toy Story family. 
I absolutely loved my husbands costume. All my kids were super cute. I should have gone as Ms Potato Head .. but I thought the costume came with both. It came with pieces to be either Mr or Ms so I became Little Bo Peep.  I wish I had better pictures of the kids.. Little Man looked amazing as Woody. Little Dude was a awesome Buzz and My little sweet .. well she was just delicious as Jessie. 

Looking forward to getting into to November!!! I'm so ready for this years holidays.. 

I hope you all had great a Halloween!! 

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Damn, it's Halloween already?

Holy Gobblins - I can't believe today is Halloween!!

Goodness gratuitous.. tomorrow will be Christmas!! 

Nothing really exciting has happened in the past 6 weeks - Thank God! We are just trying to finish up the house remodel. Guys we still don't have base boards... like I'm about to go banana's on my husband. I know the whole vehicle thing really set us back, hes' been coming and going with work.. so that has really set us back. Plus "I" have been really fighting for my Little Man and all his therapies. So the house stuff has taken a backseat and I am going to really push for us to get back on track. Like we should be able to wrap this up by Thanksgiving.. gosh guys.. a month away!!

So we started a new Speech & OT company! We start on the 8th.. I'm excited. I fought really hard to get this approved b/c it was considered "out of network". You wouldn't believe how far our insurance was willing to make us drive for a "in network" company WHEN we have so many around us. This is the third facility that we have tried to get approved and I did!!! It's really gonna change our nice little schedule we currently have.. buy ya'll know us Momma's will do whatever it takes for our babies.

On that same rabbit hole I started to question our other therapies. I got more involved with my sons teacher and what they are doing at school. They are pushing to put him in GP schools and ya'll he isn't ready for that. Bless his heart.. he's gotta be able to speak his needs and until then .. I'm not moving him. I can't imagine the struggle of putting a non-verbal child in general schools. So we have been really woking on his IEP and passing it down through the other channels. It was brought to my attention that his ABA therapy may not be on the same page with us.
So now I am starting to research other venues and seeing if we are going to be changing that up too. It's crazy. Its' a lot of phone calls. Its' a lot of she said and she said's ... repeating what the teacher is saying and what ABA is saying. Calling this Dr and calling this therapy office but I promise it's all gonna pay off when he starts talking to us. It's just a matter of time before we figure out the right communication avenue for all of us. Ya'll he refuses.. refuses to use sign language. He's started to sing songs.. verbally!! He's started to repeat things.. like "drink" or "eat" but we aren't to the point where he will speak without prompting first BUT we are so close!!!

Other then trying to get my Little Man set up with all the help that he needs.. I have been really pushing to re-organize the house. We have been de-junking like crazy. We are almost down to bare bones in each room. We just really went through the kitchen and got a lot out. So I think we are all on the right direction to making 2020 amazing!! I also have finished up my Christmas shopping for the kids. I decided to just get it out of the way and we can possibly add on if we find something fabulous.

Well I gotta get off from here.. we have a ABA sesh in about 3 hours and then we are off to Trick or Treat!! Please let me know you stopped by and read my little ramble - by leaving a comment below! I'd love to hear from ya! I'd going to try to get on here more.. I swear.. Now that we are shifting stuff around I have a window that I can dedicate to the blog again.. yay!! Alright my little witches.. stay safe & have fun tonight!!

Monday, September 16, 2019

hell of a truckin' month.


Going into 2019 "Just Keep Breathin'" by Ariana Grande became my theme song.. and I swear that for my Nov birthday.. I'm getting this tattoo'd on my forearm. I never knew how much I'd be needing this song to reel me back into sanity perimeters.  This is going to be a loooooooong post.

Ok.. so why so dramatic? because..
I have never once felt unsafe in my home. I have never once felt the need for security cameras or gates. I've never once felt the need to lock my front or back door. Hell 90% of the time my front door was unlocked and the back door open for the dogs while we ran errands.. bible. I have never questioned my neighborhood - even if it is on the 'ghetto' side to some. I started leaving the keys to my van in my middle console shortly after we got it in Feb 2018. It was just easy to just 'push to start' after loading 2 or 3 kids for therapy or errands. I'd just push and go.. never had to search for keys. I also want to add that I have multiple diaper bags depending on the kids.. So if I had all 3 it would be the blue one.. if it was just the two little's I carried a little unicorn bag. I don't think I even own a purse anymore.. esp after having little dude. Anyway....

On August 15th I went to get my wallet out of the van when I realized that someone had ransacked the  van. They didn't take a thing except my keys. The moment I realized my keys were gone I froze in place. I knew. I knew it was a matter of time before they'd come back. I called the cops and filed a police report. They informed me that the 'perp' would be back for the van. We set up an appointment to have the whole system re-keyed - but they had to order the keys so it would take a week or two.

Aug 22nd: The bus for little man couldn't get down our street so the bus barn had asked if I could pick him up at the corner. They knew I had to load two other little kiddo's and they patiently waited. I ended up taking the kids to McDonald's for a happy meal and got myself a Trenta Pink drink (currently my fav Starbucks drink - yummo!) When I pulled in the drive way I noticed a sloth like figure on the screen of my kitchen window. My blood went cold. I swear.. it literally made me motionless. I got out.. checked on the dogs.. walked the house and went back for the kiddo's. I got them out, put them in their booster seats, got their food laid out and went back to take a picture. Because it's creeeeepy isn't it?? Can you not see a figure of a person?? it's so creepy..
My Mommy senses started tingling .. those little warning bells went off in high fashion. I emptied out the van of the kids favorite items. I kept some things.. like dolls. I always keep a full spare set of clothing and a toy in my van for each child. So I left that. I remember semi cleaning out the vehicle b/c my gut told me they were coming but I largely dismissed it. That evening this little voice had told me to take the car seats out of the van. I kept dismissing it. It kept getting more and more persistent. I told my husband and he laughed it off; as I had done. We agreed to take the seats out that coming weekend and clean them. After we watched Big Brother 21 that night... I asked him again. I told him my gutt was yelling at me to remove those seats. He rolled his eyes and went to bed and I shortly followed..

Aug 23rd - 4:30am.
My husband woke me up to let me know that my van was gone. The next day we were taking it for a re-key. The van was stolen with my babies car seats, spare clothing and toys in the vehicle. A $400 'sand' wagon was in the back, my daughters FAV pair of shoes I had forgotten earlier that day were gone... this list just goes on and on. The amazing part was the huge annoyance of ignoring that little voice and the personal violation I felt. I have never felt so scared, alone, confused.
Who would do this? Who wanted a HONDA ODYSSEY for heaven sakes?! My husbands drives a new Dodge Dart and they wanted a goldfish incrusted minivan?!
The headache of police reports .. ins claims.. on-star searches engulfed my day. It literally took up my whole weekend. 

We got the kids new carseats, phone chargers, a rental (pictured above), and we waited. Waited for the police to find my minivan that brought my daughter home. The van that we took our first family trip to Texas in, The van that we drove up to Washington, the van that held my daughters first year of her life. The van that i utterly hated with a passion. The van that I drove with disdain and disgust b/c I never wanted a 'minivan' but suddenly ached for.

Over the weekend my husband left for a short 'underway' and on Monday August 26th - at 1 in the morning my house phone started going off. The police department had found the van, with a driver in it, and demanded that I come pick it up. Of course I wasn't going to wake 3 sleeping babies up to go get a van. 1. It was only me. 2. how was i gonna drive 2 vehicles? So we had it impounded. BIGGEST blessing EVER! We weren't able to get the vehicle until the 27th from impound and a lady through our ins advised us to have a tow truck meet us at the impound lot. When we called to set that up they wouldn't send a tow truck b/c the van was deemed driveable.

GUYS.... this van was anything but driveable! 
First off... the van was littered with weed and other drugs.. littered. The smell was so bad it gave you a instant headache. The blue and purple you see are weed containers. The middle console was filled with them & while it may be legal to smoke weed in Cali.. it's not for a active service member. The van was littered with food & clothing. My babies car seats were gone & the only remainder were the anchors. That broke me. Shattered me. Impacted me so hard.. it still makes me emotional. 

The bumper and the fender were just handing on. The axle protruded the wheel house (as pictured), the tired had metal wires hanging from them, the back hatch was dented in & they didn't think we could even open it.
We didn't turn the van on - the impound lot drove it over to us and parked it. The impound lot owner knew it wasn't driveable but the police dept said it was.
((So.. our ins co told us that police departments will always tell you it's driveable even if it's split in half to remove any liability on their behalf. So always be prepared to have a tow truck on standby in this type of matter )) I do NOT in ANY WAY blame the police department for any damages. It's not their job to do a diagnostic and I am incredibly thankful that they assisted in finding the van.

So the ins co became intolerable after this point. They were super up to this 'very' point. They refused to send a tow truck to remove the van off impounds lot, they refused to take it to the dealership for it's diagnostic. They absolutely refused to reimburse us for the impound fee's & even said we should have found a way to keep it from even getting impounded. The van was completely undriveable. The wheels wobbled when moving. That van was so covered in drugs... I can't ...
So the impound lot graciously took the van to the collision team through our Honda dealership & the collision team was a absolute delight! The impound lot even brought the van to our home so that we can survey and take pictures of damages before the collision team received it. The tow truck driver showed me things, had me take pictures of the undercarriage, and even offered to lower the van to retrieve personal items. They were awesome. 

The collision team gave me daily updates, sent me pictures to describe damages and ask questions. He color coded areas and explained their issues. The collision co told us that the van would be totaled on August 30th. They told us that "fentanyl" had been found in the van & all personnel wore hazmat suits to enter the vehicle. The clean up charge for the drugs alone was $5,000. They said the driver(s) drove the van at a very high speed and then slammed it into park. The van drove while in park and parked while in drive. The vehicle was very confused and the whole electrical system was glitchy. They said that it seemed as though the driver(s) attempted to jump either a tree stump or a man made ramp and the axle broke upon a landing. The under carriage compartments had been compromised. The fuel systems were burned or drained.
The INS co, however, refused to return our phone calls. SO with the 'good faith' of the collision dept we started vehicle shopping over the Labor Day holiday. The ins co refused to give us information on the vehicle at all until Sept 3rd - which they provided via email~ !!  I called these people every. single. day and they responded to us via email.  We refused to purchase a vehicle until we heard from the ins co directly that the van was being totaled. 

On Sept 3rd I purchased my dream vehicle. Since we had already been shopping I already had a dealership I wanted to work with & a basic understanding of what I wanted. I was very torn between two completely different MAKES but narrowed it down to one that I have been dreaming about I got my Drivers License. I didn't get the color that I originally thought I wanted but God works in funny ways. We walked onto the Chevy lot for the 3rd time to hear that the truck I wanted had been sold. I had to start my search all over and since a lot of the inventory had been sold over the weekend it was 'slim pickings'. My husband set with the kids and let look at all the beautiful trucks. I looked at the 'customs', I looked at the LT's and I looked at the LTZ's. I did NOT want a white truck, I did want a extended crew cab & I wanted a five seater not a 6. 

I bought a 2019 Chevy LT. She is metallic brown & I absolutely am in love with the color. I didn't get leather seats this round but they are heated. I did end up with 6 seats. I have already done a couple of "upgrades" and I'm going to be doing a couple more things to her here soon but nothing really major. The room in this truck is amazing!

So in closing this past month.. exactly has been insane. I don't wish this experience on anyone !! BUT if you ever go through this please make sure to have a tow truck meet you when you pick up your stolen vehicle. Also make sure that you chose a collision center that works for YOU not your ins co. We were blessed that this didn't end up worse or prolonged. I am sad of the Honda's fate.. she deserved better. It's really sad how someone can just ruin someone else's property. I am a starting to feel less vulnerable though. I do check out my windows more then I did before, we did upgrade the locks and back doors on the house. We did upgrade to a keyless entry a while back and stared locking our doors. I, also, will never leave my keys in a vehicle again!! ever!! lesson learned.