Saturday, July 13, 2013

Long (and tearful) Drs. Follow up post

Now that I've calmed down & stopped crying long enough - I think I can write this post. Bare with me.

Yesterday I met with my "Fertility Dr" on base, and since Mr P couldn't make it - I went solo. I was so nervous that they took my blood pressure three times. After doing my vitals I met with the Dr's aide (I guess is what you call her) who asked me a TON of questions. She looked over the documents that I brought with me and talked about the visit I had with the awesome Dr in the dysplasia clinic. We went over my blood work from two weeks ago & she stated that I ovulate on my own. She stated that the readings said that I ovulated normally giving me a 4.9 and a 5.1. I still don't know what those numbers mean exactly - but I was so deliriously happy that I ovulate on my own that I didn't really care.

What seemed like an hour later I met with the Dr - a very old man who was abrupt and quick to the points.He introduced himself and started off with "today we are entering you and your husband on the IVF waiting list. As soon as you leave here go next door and start the needed blood work - your husband will have to do the same as soon as possible." I started bawling.. No seriously.. bawling my eyes out. I was so confused ~ if I ovulate on my own then why were they adding us to the IVF list??! He went on to say that they weren't doing a HSG (dye test) but an SIS (saline tubal perfusion test) and was putting me on at least two months of birth control pills (which I call failure pills). I started crying again after hearing the words 'birth control pills'. When I asked him about this uterine polyp/ fibroid mass that is invading my uterus he simply said "i declined your surgery - you don't need it. You just had an ultrasound so for now I just want to monitor it and hope it comes out on it's own" More crying. 'As soon as you spouse can get his blood work done the faster we can move forward. After the SIS is completed I'll put you on a injection that you'll take to help stimulate your ovulation' Why do I need a stimulant to help me ovulate if the blood work showed I was doing it on my own? 'because you need the help now if that doesn't work then we'll move right into a IUI (artificial insemination) but we need your spouses blood work before hand or we can't more forward. Also you were put on the IVF list in case all of this fails and we don't want to wait 15 months so I am putting you on it now to hold a spot' It will also cost you are you husband $3,000 out of pocket - if we get to that point - just so you know.  

I was done with this old man & I was done with this visit! I don't care how long he'd been doing this he made me feel like I couldn't accomplish a pregnancy without a IVF and that is wrong!!
By the end of my twenty minutes I had a headache and swollen eyes - along with mascara streaks down my cheeks. I was confused and angry but I did my 7 vials of blood work anyway. Which by the way was full of women getting validation of their pregnancy. I went and waiting on my prescription to be filled at the pharmacy (never doing that again). I left an hour later with a ticket for my prescription that could be picked up in a hour. I needed to go pick up my brother from base & then it would be ready anyway. On the way to my car I was getting crazy looks because I didn't care that tears were rolling down my face. I didn't care that I was sobbing at moments and had makeup all over my face. I didn't care that I didn't even cover my eyes with my sunglasses.. I just didn't care. The moment my brother saw me he said "what is wrong!! i've never seen you cry before, Amy what is wrong?" It all just came out - one blubbering sentence after another. I told him "the Dr came me failure pills and put me on the IVF 15 month waiting list ~ He denied my surgery and I don't know what to do but this is all wrong!!" We pulled over because crying and driving don't go hand in hand & he drove me back to base to get my 'failure pills' & a free bottle of prenatal vitamins.

He tried to make small talk as we drove in the 5pm traffic. Once we got home Mr. P took one look at me & said the same thing my brother did "what is wrong!! i've never seen you cry before, Amy what is wrong?" By the time I got all my words out - which stung the air because my hurt was now anger - my husband had a phone in his hand. Calling the Tricare hotline wanting to know how we get a second opinion. The anger in his voice and the concern in his eyes was enough to make the tears start flowing again. As he pulled me to him & said "I'm not letting this thing stay in you & you aren't taking those 'failure pills' as you call them either. We will go first thing Monday and find another Dr who will listen even if I have to go above his head all the way up his chain of command. I promise that I will never miss another one of your visits.. these are a priority. The last two Dr's wanted you have surgery right away & he declined the surgery.. not good enough.. not good enough at all." I walked away to hear him ask the after hours operator how we go about getting a 2nd opinion through the Navy.

My brother called his wife & asked how she did it - getting a 2nd opinion when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I heard my brother & husband say that "after this all drs will agree with his diagnosis.. it will be a fight now to get that surgery".. more tears.

At the end of the day I found that I need to contact my Primary Care Manager aka PCM & tell him what was going on. He is the one to help me through whatever I need & I needed his help in getting a 2nd opinion. I have looked up all kinds of information on the uterine polyp and fibroid mass - wondering if they could in fact come out on their own. I was humbled by the compassion of my husband and the level of support with my brother & sister in law. I'm not a cry baby & I'm not against IVF ~ I just knew that it wasn't the 'plan of action' for me. I just felt this Dr was a 'IVF' hungry man - meaning he only wanted to do the IVF's instead of exhausting all my needed concerns. This thing has bloated my stomach to make me look 3 months pregnant & not it's started to cause me pain. Although I'm not in a total disagreement with everything he said I'm left wondering if I should follow his "POA" until I find a 2nd opinion. The birth control pill won't hurt me, since I can't get pregnant with this mass in me anyway.. but it not what I expected to hear. I've never thought of myself as needed an IVF but i understand that if I did I'd be thankful to be on the list already. Hopefully I can get answers this coming week while having the three little kiddo's.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! I don't know what to say. You've said it all and I'm glad you have men in your life who love you and care.

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