Yesterday I met with my "Fertility Dr" on base, and since Mr P couldn't make it - I went solo. I was so nervous that they took my blood pressure three times. After doing my vitals I met with the Dr's aide (I guess is what you call her) who asked me a TON of questions. She looked over the documents that I brought with me and talked about the visit I had with the awesome Dr in the dysplasia clinic. We went over my blood work from two weeks ago & she stated that I ovulate on my own. She stated that the readings said that I ovulated normally giving me a 4.9 and a 5.1. I still don't know what those numbers mean exactly - but I was so deliriously happy that I ovulate on my own that I didn't really care.
What seemed like an hour later I met with the Dr - a
I was done with this old man & I was done with this visit! I don't care how long he'd been doing this he made me feel like I couldn't accomplish a pregnancy without a IVF and that is wrong!!
By the end of my twenty minutes I had a headache and swollen eyes - along with mascara streaks down my cheeks. I was confused and angry but I did my 7 vials of blood work anyway. Which by the way was full of women getting validation of their pregnancy. I went and waiting on my prescription to be filled at the pharmacy (never doing that again). I left an hour later with a ticket for my prescription that could be picked up in a hour. I needed to go pick up my brother from base & then it would be ready anyway. On the way to my car I was getting crazy looks because I didn't care that tears were rolling down my face. I didn't care that I was sobbing at moments and had makeup all over my face. I didn't care that I didn't even cover my eyes with my sunglasses.. I just didn't care. The moment my brother saw me he said "what is wrong!! i've never seen you cry before, Amy what is wrong?" It all just came out - one blubbering sentence after another. I told him "the Dr came me failure pills and put me on the IVF 15 month waiting list ~ He denied my surgery and I don't know what to do but this is all wrong!!" We pulled over because crying and driving don't go hand in hand & he drove me back to base to get my 'failure pills' & a free bottle of prenatal vitamins.
He tried to make small talk as we drove in the 5pm traffic. Once we got home Mr. P took one look at me & said the same thing my brother did "what is wrong!! i've never seen you cry before, Amy what is wrong?" By the time I got all my words out - which stung the air because my hurt was now anger - my husband had a phone in his hand. Calling the Tricare hotline wanting to know how we get a second opinion. The anger in his voice and the concern in his eyes was enough to make the tears start flowing again. As he pulled me to him & said "I'm not letting this thing stay in you & you aren't taking those 'failure pills' as you call them either. We will go first thing Monday and find another Dr who will listen even if I have to go above his head all the way up his chain of command. I promise that I will never miss another one of your visits.. these are a priority. The last two Dr's wanted you have surgery right away & he declined the surgery.. not good enough.. not good enough at all." I walked away to hear him ask the after hours operator how we go about getting a 2nd opinion through the Navy.
My brother called his wife & asked how she did it - getting a 2nd opinion when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I heard my brother & husband say that "after this all drs will agree with his diagnosis.. it will be a fight now to get that surgery".. more tears.
At the end of the day I found that I need to contact my Primary Care Manager aka PCM & tell him what was going on. He is the one to help me through whatever I need & I needed his help in getting a 2nd opinion. I have looked up all kinds of information on the uterine polyp and fibroid mass - wondering if they could in fact come out on their own. I was humbled by the compassion of my husband and the level of support with my brother & sister in law. I'm not a cry baby & I'm not against IVF ~ I just knew that it wasn't the 'plan of action' for me. I just felt this Dr was a 'IVF' hungry man - meaning he only wanted to do the IVF's instead of exhausting all my needed concerns. This thing has bloated my stomach to make me look 3 months pregnant & not it's started to cause me pain. Although I'm not in a total disagreement with everything he said I'm left wondering if I should follow his "POA" until I find a 2nd opinion. The birth control pill won't hurt me, since I can't get pregnant with this mass in me anyway.. but it not what I expected to hear. I've never thought of myself as needed an IVF but i understand that if I did I'd be thankful to be on the list already. Hopefully I can get answers this coming week while having the three little kiddo's.
Xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteWow! I don't know what to say. You've said it all and I'm glad you have men in your life who love you and care.
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