Thursday, August 29, 2013

Well Sh%t

This morning I am enjoying a cup of coffee while the plumbers fill the huge hole in my yard back up. Nothing I intended to do got done yesterday so I'm behind on all the chores I need to complete before leaving for Tucson tomorrow morning... here is my laughable version on what happened.

Yesterday am my husband woke me up at 5am to tell me that our toilet didn't flush. I thought, eh I'll get some durano, and he said 'have Harris (our new roomie) check the line in the front yard. Text me later and let me know if it is flowing or if the water is standing still... "OK". Two hours later Harris says "Umm Amber, his wife, tried to take a shower last night and the water in the toilet kept making a bubbling sound". I immediately remember my husbands request and passed it on to him. He walks outside with a cup of coffee and a cigarette, walks over to the line cap and twists if off.
Let's just say it wasn't empty, we didn't see water of any kind and it was full to the brim of the CVC pipe. We both started gagging and his wife had turned on the shower in her room, per his request prior to twisting off the cap, and poo started gushing UP all over the yard.

About an hour later this AWESOME water co showed up, Drain Masters, and we thought he had saved the day. After draining out the CVC pipe for a good two hours - yes two hours - he came into say that there was a huge blockage coming from Harris' bathroom. (Which was our old roomies room just a week ago) and that the blockage had been there for some time now. He said he couldn't get past the blockage but managed to pull some of it out and it looked like baby wipes. I started thinking "we didn't have a baby in the house" and I picked up a Clorox wipe and started cleaning the counter. It hit me like a MAC truck, OMG he had been flushing these cleaning wipes after using them in his bathroom!!

The plumber said that he would need to call another group out to flush the line & that we would need to use a high pressured hose to get behind this blockage and hopefully pull it out. For those of you who DON'T know.. baby wipes or clorox wipes do NOT decompose like toilet paper or paper towels. They actually expand a little - so make sure those handi wipes say "flushable" on the package!! Now we are out of water and toilets until 2pm, now 6 hours, with three adults, a three yr old and two dogs in the house. No laundry or dishes can be done, our house was at a stand still. The new Co shows up, MVP Rooter, to use a high pressure machine for this pipe.

To set the scene even more, it's a flat 100* degrees at my house. No water, No bathrooms, No showers, and No AC ... we were miserable! These two men at 2pm are sweating in my front yard trying to fix my overflowing poop line. The smell was just horrible. They got the 'snake' stuck the first two times & then put a camera down to see the pipes. kind of like a colonoscopy. We watched this screen show us the HUGE blockage of wipes & then see a hole in the pipe.  Great. Our now $650 high pressure job just went to $1825 in one camera view. They had to dig a hole in my front yard, replace all the pipping (which ended up costing us $450 more) and reburying these lines. At 7:30 pm last night we were able to use our water again, so we went a full 11 hours without it.

I thought this cancelled our Tucson trip, but my awesome hubby said that he knew how much I needed this R&R. We are going but after spending $3,000 yesterday we agreed on: no iphone 5s for me, no birthdays, no Christmas, and nothing but a straight budget until this is paid off. My salty tears didn't change the hole in my yard or my bank account but it made me realize two things.
1. Homeownership sucks a@s sometimes.
2. That some of the frivolous things we buy aren't important, but knowing my kids won't starve if something like this happens again, is important enough to make me save more money.

As I type they are filling up this huge $3,000 shit hole in my front yard caused by someone flushing clorox wipes down a toilet. Today is going to be better than yesterday, and this weekend will be amazing! Shit happens, you just gotta clean it up and keep moving forward. ;) Hope everyone is having an amazing day and I hope that the start of your Labor day weekend is better than mine. :)

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

birthday's and iphones


Today is my besties birthday. I'd like for all of you to take a moment, click this link ->bestie & wish her a happy birthday on her birthday post.... PLEASE. She's been going through so much lately; it would be nice to give her a simple smile throughout the day. BUT I can't wait to hear about her reaction on the birthday present that I sent to her!!! :} So Please take a moment and tell her Happy (10th) 21st birthday!!!

Ok. So while talking with the hubby yesterday about the upcoming iphone release. Now, we've made an agreement that I get the next update since he got the new 4s AND 5, leaving me with the hand me down. So I've proudly claimed the new release for myself mmwahahahahaha!
We looked at some of the specs and comments about the release in September and heard some shocking things about this new updated iphone.

1. the screen is said to be much bigger closely matching the Galaxy in size.
2. they are releasing the iphone in more colors!
and of course there will be fixes to other things with the phones process and it should be faster. 
They also said that they are talking about releasing both the 5s and 6 at the same time! I also read in a article that they are thinking about just skipping the 5s all together.. then I read that in Sept 2013 the 5s will be released and then in 2014 the 6 will come out. hmmm.

I don't know that we can trust any of the speculation at this point ... but I can say that if the 6 is that close to be released I'll wait and pre-order it in Jan. I mean look how awesome the colored iphones look! (You can pay $100 at an apple store and get the front and back in colors already) I can say that they chances of me getting a colored phone is slim; i like the look of the black iphone.

I'd like to hear what your thoughts are & what you've heard so far on the new iphones. I can say that I'm excited about the new charger from the 5 and that has kept me from upgrading all together.. but I'd love to hear your thoughts....

I gotta go start laundry for my weekend trip to Tuscon, AZ.. and we rescheduled our post op appointment for September 3rd, if you are keeping up with that stuff.. Have a great day and stop by and tell the Bestie Happy Birthday please!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

last week of August.

Can you believe we are about to enter in September already? Where did 2013 go?!

As we prepare for another busy week; I'm excited that we are moving into fall. For one I can't wait to wear my skinny jeans, boots & scarfs again!!

With "Eddie" officially gone I feel so much better. Yesterday was my first day back at the gym & it felt great. Currently I am undergoing a 2 part gum cleaning at the dentist, which I was told was highly important on the chance that we achieve a pregnancy. Let's just say it sounds better than advertised.

After today's part 2 gum cleaning I will be free of all Dr's appointments until Friday. Friday we will have our post op appointment & then I'm Dr free for a minute. As soon as we leave the Dr's office on Friday we are heading to Tucson, AZ for a little R&R until Monday afternoon. I can't express how much I feel I need this time away from my life in San Diego at this moment. After living off of milkshakes & smoothies for two weeks; I'm excited to indulge in some Whataburger.

Well that's my non exciting week for me. Hope everyone is having a great week too.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Eddie's Gone!!!

Tuesday I had to have an emergency tooth extraction due to a major broken tooth. I managed to break my tooth even more Monday night & it was unavoidable. So when I went in for surgery yesterday I hadn't eaten in two days, I was nervous & HUNGRY. The whole experience, overall, was really good.

We got to the hospital around 8 am & got back for prep around 9:30. I was wheeled off to surgery around 11 am & was out by 11:45 am. The staff asked us the same five questions over and over again.. "when did you last eat or drink something", "Can you verify your name, birthday and husbands cell number" "any known allergies to meds" and "what are you having done today'. So to my surprise when I woke up in the OR they nurse saying 'sorry Ma'am we can't locate your husband'; I was worried. Over two & half hours later the recovery ward decided to inform me that they had been calling the wrong number. Needless to say my husband was panicked and ticked off. While looking for him I managed to feed myself, take myself to the bathroom & another nurse walked me around the hallway. I climbed back into the hospital bed and slept for an hour before he arrived in my room. The Dr's came in and said that "Eddie" was removed without any issues & it was a very simple extraction. They forgot to bring the pictures I requested but I'd get them at post-op. Yes I was upset that they wouldn't let me see "Eddie".. they had him sent off for evaulations as soon as he was removed. My hubby laughed because
I offered the OR nurse my cell phone so she could take pictures .. but again the declined my request.

They said they were giving me 800mg ibuprofen, percocet & more birth control pills. The pharmacy even told Ben they had given me percocet but encouraged the ibuprofen over then percocet. Once home my sweet hubby propped me up on the couch (which he covered with sheets) with my pillows; a bottle of Sprite & my meds. He thought he handed me a percocet and I prepared to see the world again in 6-8 hours. Two hours later I woke up covered in sweat from head to toe, I was dizzy and in pain. He went to go grab some ibuprofen to see that the bottle said 'oxycodone 15mg and Acetaminophen 325mg'. Umm I'm allergic to Oxycodone... like hardcore allergic. But at this point I had already two prescribed dosages before he realized that the bottle said something different then our paperwork. He immediately called the ER & they requested that I drink a ton of fluids and just take the ibuprofen. From 3:30 until 10 pm I battled the sweats, shakes, dizziness and nausea.

This am I am feeling good. A little dizzy still but overall good. My cramping is very mild & tolerable; especially for the second day. My plan is to plop my bottom in the bed & just rest all day. I'm not allowed to bend over, take a bath or lift anything heavier than 10 lbs until Monday.  On August 30th I'll go back for post-op and I'll be given the pictures of Eddie, the Clomid & the trigger Gonal F shot. From there we wait to see if we conceived Baby P.

Thank you for your prayers and concerns. I've waited for this surgery for a while now & I"m so glad i's over!

Friday, August 16, 2013

more Dr news.

Yesterday I went for my pre op appointment. In case you haven't heard, little "eddie" is getting the boot! This benign tumor will no longer be snuggled up in my uterus causing havoc! I'm so excited that he is getting evicted; that even the hospital staff commented that I was the happiest pre op patient ever.  
I got to met with my fertility Dr before running all around the hospital..
(floor 3, then building 3 floor 1, building 1 floor 4 and then building 1 floor 3)
and I'm very excited to say that we have gotten even more good news. 

My surgery is August 21st & I'll be able to return to normal everyday stuff; like the gym; on Monday. They will be doing the whole surgery vaginally; so I won't have the extra healing time & no scars. 
They are extending my birth control pills until my post- op appointment August 30th; from there they are in control with how my body works. I'll be starting Clomid (yuck) and the Gonal F trigger shot in September to help us get pregnant super quick. The Dr said he is very sure that we will be getting a positive sometime in October since everything is working correctly. The hubby is doing another analysis on Aug 28th too; so with all the extra stuff we are doing - I'm feeling pretty positive. 

Since we are getting excited about a possible pregnancy there are so many things that I need to do. On August 26th & 27th I'll be getting a deep gum cleaning and a tooth extraction. Aug 30th we are also going to Arizona too; which I'm really excited to be close to family friends after all of this. Relaxing is part of the game too huh? I will for sure be doing some drinking, when I can, and I start my 'stop smoking' patches on Monday the 19th. 

Now that I'm going to be down for what seems like two full weeks I've got a lot to take care of. 
I'm so very excited that this is all coming together & I'm really praying that this all works out. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend & I'm sure I'll have some posts ready for this coming week. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

blessed beyond words..

As I posted the other day with my post, Scared senseless, my anxiety of today's visit was sky high. I'm here to share that the anxiety and stress was completely in vain. This is my attempt to recreate such an amazing and emotional day in our household & share what the future holds for us.

My husband took off work today to attend the appointment with me. I slept until 8:30 am, which is sleeping in for me, to find that he had already brewed a pot of my favorite Starbucks coffee "Kait Kait". He brought me a cup in bed and provided my kindle fire hd so that I could catch up on all the facebook posts I'd missed overnight - (morning ritual). The flood of phone calls & skype conversations lasted the majority of the morning; creating a anxiety just talking about it so much. I was able to take a shower and get dressed in record timing though. We left the house a little after noon and the base parking was it's normal insane scene. My husband dropped me off in front of the OB office where I needed to go to take a pregnancy test. Of course the test came back negative, since I've had a months worth of birth control pills in my system.

*Side note: I explained upon arrival that I had a appointment with the fertility clinic in 35 minutes; but I needed the yellow paper to take up with me; the lady told me that it would take 5 minutes to get my test results for the pee test.  30 minutes later I went back up to the receptionist to find that the 'yellow' slip was at her desk the WHOLE time ~ thus creating us being late to the fertility clinic appointment. Man I was upset!!

The fertility clinic slightly scolded us for being late and we waited another 20 minutes to be squeezed in. We were escorted to a room with a ultrasound machine and told to strip waist down. The hubby joined me in the room & we waited some more. The intern came in to explain the procedure (in grave detail) and asked if we had questions. A few moments later the Dr appeared and re-explained all the details of the procedure, and adding that this would be a first for the intern to see a patient with a ovarian polyp. (glad to be the study guide). I instantly felt at ease with this Dr, he was patient & he was very detailed. He went over each step explaining why and what he was doing. He positioned Mr. P so that he had great view of the ultrasound screen & began describing everything! It was awesome! I got such a great view of my uterus, my ovaries, my tubes... all of it! He did a 3D screening & even did a triple angle view of the polyp.. that was so cool!! (it looked like a dangling balloon)

The polyp has grown 4mm since my last visit (a couple of weeks ago) and they were able to see that it was growing East to West. Meaning it is attached to right wall of my uterus and growing to the left uterus wall. He showed me my uterus first; stating that I had a pristine uterus minus the polyp - saying it was more than healthy to carry babies. He then went to the right ovary and was able to count out 8 fully healthy follicles. When I asked about it being a polycystic ovary; he looked at me like I had a third eye saying "no this is exactly what you want to see!" Then the left showed that we had another 7 follicles in that one! He smiled and said "other than this polyp I see nothing indicating that you can't achieve a healthy pregnancy, actually I see that you aren't getting pregnant because of the polyp". The procedure was completed we were asked to meet in his office to go over all the results & our plan of action. The moment they all walked out of our room I bursted in tears and I saw my husband wiping his eyes as well. We exchanged big  huge smiles and joined hands & entered the Dr's office.

The Dr set behind his desk and said "so we do surgerys on Wednesday's and because of pre-op stuff you can't be seen until the 21st." My heart sunk for a moment & then started racing when I understood what he was saying! "We will be doing a full out patient anesthetic surgery next Wednesday - make sure to complete your pre-op appointment this week. After viewing all your results from blood work, semen analysis & today's sonogram ~ I find that once this polyp is removed you'll be able to achieve a pregnancy." Mr P & I shared wide grinning glances at each other. "Furthermore", he said "I almost expect you to be back in six weeks with a positive pregnancy test. We are going through the vaginal entrance so you'll be able to go back to daily routines by Friday. No cutting, scars or weeks of recovery. This should be a quick snip through the vaginal canal." That's when I started crying with happy, overjoyed tears.

So we set up our pre-op appointment for this Thursday & made my out patient surgery appointment for next Wednesday!! As I sit here with mild cramping ~ I have to say that this day couldn't have ended better. Not only did I hear for the first time in 7 years that I can achieve a pregnancy but that we are so close!! I got my wish of having this polyp surgically removed & within the next week I'll be completely healthy. It's surreal to put these emotions into words.. it's an highly emotional moment in my life. One I will look back to & share with my child.. the day I was told I could have a baby. The moment a Dr told me that my body over the last 7 years has healed itself to such an extreme that nothing I was diagnosed with is relevant. That only a 16mm polyp was keeping me from having a baby grow within me, it's moving.

I have another week with little Eddie (the polyp) & a week to welcome TOM (time of month) after. I have a week to continue with my birth control bills before throwing them away & starting my prenatals. Within the next three weeks my body will become ready & able to try for a baby. The Dr put it best when he said "it takes three things to make a baby: a healthy uterus, great eggs & baby batter (sperm); now go have fun!"

I want to say that through this amazing journey & discovery I've encountered so many women who have held my hand. I thank everyone for continuing these heartbreaking years with me; and helping me not lose faith. Although I'm not waving a flag of victory yet; I feel as if I have won the war. Knowing my body is healthy & obstruction free is the most amazing victory after feeling broken for so many years. I truly hope & pray that within the next three months we are able to announce the newest addition to our family.... again thank you to everyone who has supported us through this journey. I hope that you will all continue you follow us through the next chapter of our lives.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Frustrated noise.

Today I am writing in frustration over my weight.

On May 21st, 2012 I weighed 152.62
On August 12th, 2012 I weighed 164.20
On March 26th, 2013 I weighed 172.00
August 12th, 2013 I weighed in at 185.01

I am at a total and complete loss.
I workout almost everyday. I eat right making sure our house is loaded with fresh veggies & fruits. I cut out the starches & all sweets too. The occasional beer (or beer pong nights) followed with the monthly Friday pizza night - shouldn't be affecting such a rapid spike in weight.

Yes, I took two full months off this year. June & July were not schedule friendly due to my trip to Arkansas and other things going on. During those two months I didn't over eat, I didn't go crazy with fast foods & I invested in drinking a lot more water. I dropped my coffee intake & switched over to a warm cup, or two, of tea a night. My activity level has dropped but not significantly enough to express a sharp weight incline. UGH!

I constantly hear different opinions on what I should be doing and it drives me insane! My husband pushes me so far but I don't always agree with his 'pushes' - like today. " I noticed you did your whole two miles on level 1, tomorrow you should bump it up to level 2. You should also cover your screen and push your body as far as you can. You are teaching your body to quit at a certain point by watching miles and time." ok, so it's not horrible advice.. but it pissed me off. I watch the 'track' screen & push myself to do a whole lap, or a whole two laps before I let myself drop in speed. I also push myself in intervals around the track when I feel like I just want to walk off the elliptical all together - so it frustrated me to be critiqued.

I agree that I don't push myself. I get angry for leaving the gym after just doing 2 miles on the elliptical. I know I should be adding more to my workouts, like we were doing before. I'm also aware that I'm terrified of this stupid benign tumor & afraid that it's going to burst. I know that I allow myself to quit easily instead of pushing for 5 more steps or another quarter of a mile. I just don't know why his advice or anyone elses really bothers  me with my workouts.

I reached out on facebook for a female workout buddy. I got a girl who responded with selling 'beachbody'. I already have insanity & we don't use it right now - why? Because my husband can't do the workouts due to his knee surgery last year.. so we are waiting to start using it again. I'm not a self motivator. I don't wake up, on average, and jump out of bed thinking of a run or a video workout. I need that person next to me to push me through these regimens to get it done. That's a cop out! No it's not. I know what works best for me & my self motivation isn't as high alone as it is with a partner.

Once my husband leaves our workouts & goes to change I feel lost. If we do a full cardio hour, like today, after that I look around the gym lost. I have no idea what machines to use, which ones complement each other, and I feel dumb. I literally just stood around waiting for my husband to hurry through his shower this am.. lost like a stray dog ... looking around with wide eyes. It's humiliating!!

I really think I need to invest in a personal trainer at this point. I'm beyond frustrated and irritated. I love working out with my husband but an hour just isn't enough to get through it all.
If we show up on base at 6am we have an hour to complete our workouts together. I've put a lot of pressure on myself to get into a routine and drop some of this weight before we get pregnant! All I wanted was to drop 25 pounds a year ago.. and now I need to drop almost 32.4 pounds to meet where I was last year!!!! (side note I wasn't even working out this time last year! I joined a 24 fitness just for the cardio classes, which I hardly ever attended.) And a whopping 60 pounds to achieve my 125 pound goal.

I'm so beyond frustrated and annoyed! I'm not giving up but I am just at a loss on what is happening!!  It seems like the more I workout the more I gain.. so I dunno. It's just annoying to know that I can't fit in the jeans I bought last Nov for this fall ... it's embarrassing to continue to be asked "how far along are you", and it's even more defeating to know I'm putting forth the effort in both eating correctly & working out.

I just needed to vent.... ugh.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Scared senseless

If you follow me on Facebook then you know that I'm totally terrified of the my procedure this week. I'm getting a "Saline Infused Sonogram" done on the 13th of August. I've been preparing for this exam for over a month.. according to my birth control pills anyway. I'm both anxious and nervous to finally get this procedure done. Why? Because I am fully of worry; which causes stress.

I'm worried that something is really wrong with my uterus: since the procedure will let us know if there is anything wrong and if I could even carry a baby.
I'm worried that the polyp is keeping me from getting pregnant: which is another reason why this procedure is so important.
We will also get the blood & sperm analysis results from my husbands tests... which will also allow us to know what direction we go from here. There are so many ways this appointment can go and I am praying that everything is normal & there are no issues with either one of us. Reality though is a bitch. A hardcore bitch. It's the point past the prayers that lead me to stress out to no end. I'm terrified that something is so horribly wrong that it will shatter all my baby dreams. I can't even begin to form a thought around that sentence without tears burning my eyes.

Thursday I took myself to the beach with a pregnant friend. That wasn't the best decision considering I wanted to get my mind away from babyland. It was nice, however, to talk this stuff out with someone who has been in my shoes. Who is to say that I'll be as blessed as she was after this procedure???

I'm thinking about staying at the beach, in hopes of staying calm, until Tuesday morning. That's not a real possibility but it's a thought I am holding on too. All my chores are completed, for now, and I should be able to completely relax after Tuesday. I'm also hoping that we walk away with some answers and positive solutions on moving forward.

I wish I had the money to indulge in a spa day or immerse myself in a beach side cottage until the morning off.. but this isn't a reality for me. Even though my husband will be by myside the whole time, I feel as if I am doing this alone. I hate that feeling. This overwhelming pitt in my stomach is grossly killing my 'calm place'.

I'm going to attempt with all my might to stay calm and relaxed until then. I'm going to think of everything positive that could come out of this appointment. Hopefully next Wed I update you all with great news.. otherwise I'll be attaching my address for much needed alcohol supply donations.

Friday, August 9, 2013

What Running's taught me.


Over the past three weeks the hubby & I have started running. Some of you are aware that we took a two month workout break due to physical scares & family stuff. We've been running Monday, Wednesday & Friday and I just started going in on Tuesday & Thursday for cardio. I wanted to share a couple of things I've learned since I've started running.

Pain: Nobody told me how much I'd hurt after a run. don't get me wrong that high after finishing my jog is amazing! After an hour or two my body starts screaming with cramping pain. It usually starts with my thighs and abs - nothing that keeps me away from going again but I wasn't expecting to feel such a full body workout. I also feel the effects in my back and arms / hot tubs & baths usually help me reduce that muscle cramping the day of a run.

hunger: I've never been so hungry in my life!! I'm not big on breakfast but after our 'jogging' mornings I could eat a whole IHop omelet with no breaths! (not that I have) I'm always starving by the time I make it home. Since I've cut back on my coffee intake too.. the hunger has really set in! I'm so thankful we have filled our house with fruits, yogurts, and nuts.

clothing: You see people run in small shorts and tanks all the time. I will be the first to explain that as a bigger women you have to be careful with wearing short shorts. The friction of leg rubbing is NOT cool.. but in the case that it happens a soak in epsom  salt right after a run helps. Anyway I found these awesome yoga shorts from Target that are amazing! They breath and they stay in place when I run.. here.  I went a little crazy with buying some fashionable knee socks. After wearing them one day I learned why they weren't going to work. Although I was so happy they stayed up ~ it made my legs really itchy and it was hard to concentrate on the run. I then started to wear very thin ankle socks... such a huge difference.

Water.. water.. water: Drinking water is SO important but it's even more important with workouts and running. I am not the best with remembering throughout the day to chug a bottle or two but I'm getting better. I have managed to keep two cold bottles in the fridge at all times and they are usually empty at the end of the day. I'm also a huge "FIJI" fan so I usually have a bottle or two a day.

smoking: nothing makes you want to quit faster then the chest pain from smoking. I usually get about .75 of a mile before I can feel the chest burn. We've started using our vaporizing sets to help us kick the habit. The first time my chest & throat started burning I didn't think I would be able to catch my breath.It was a huge wake up call for me to really quit.

Stretching: I've never understood the importance of Yoga and stretching until working out. And while I don't attend a Yoga class anymore I still do some of the poses when I need a good stretch. The downward dog, cobra, crow, half downward dog & forward bend and the most amazing poses for muscle cramping.

I think that the most important is that it's changed me. I started this with "you're gonna kill me" or "I haven't ran since high school". Even though I'm not jogging a full mile without a rest here & there I still keep going. So far we've gotten up to 2.3 miles and I'm looking to push it to 3 next week. Why? for me. I enjoy running ~ I am just being very determined to master a job to help me become healthy. I know that running is a good thing to do to help with some of the weight loss. I plan on jogging during my pregnancy & after so it's important that I start this now.

How do you prepare for a run? How did you start running? Do you have any advice to give to the new runners/joggers?? Do you also do other workouts with your run???