These past couple of weeks have been huge for me. They have not only been about the reveal of my latest fertility adventure but also about the people around me.
The anarchy of each person in my life is different and they all hold a different spot in my life. I mean my best girl friend is the person I vent too and discuss all my fertility stuff with. Then my best guy friend is the one I call when I don't understand my husband. He's the guy I've leaned on for so much advice and understanding ~ someone who has been able to tell me straight 'you are in the wrong'. Since my best girl friend is out of town we haven't talked as much as usual. Since my guy best friend lives with us now.. it has changed SO much.
I feel that I placed him higher then I should have. Maybe put him a little higher on a pedestal then anyone should have been. I've found that I am aggravated watching him ignore his wife and kids. I'm appalled at the comments that he makes about his wife staying home and not having a 'real' job. I am even more annoyed on the constant void he placed with him and his wife. I think the part that has upset me the most is realizing that he's not the person I created him to be. Which is a bigger disappointment then I prepared myself for. I love my friends. I would do anything for them. I would move mountains for my guy best friend and his family. He is a wonderful guy.. I just think that realizing that I placed him on a pedestal that was way above his grasp; is heartbreaking.
My point is that I'm realizing that my best guy friend is just a human as the next person and this super man persona I gave him isn't reality. It's deflating to put so much stock in someone to realize that you were wrong. Again, the good point is that my husband became above my bf's status. I put my husband in the proper placing he should have been all along. It has given me enormous leaps of gratitude, love and respect for the man I share my life with. I think that's a great thing to realize.. especially right before Valentine's Day... don't you?