We have had so much going on that I didn't realize I'd gone over my two week wait. Crazy I know. The fumigation, Stagecoach, a homecoming... I mean it's been busy around here. With my bestie being pregnant I've made myself busy in creating blankets and other masterpieces for her peanut. Then you throw in my knee injury stuff and you can see why I've been so scatter brained. I feel like every time I allow myself to get excited or grant a little bit of hope .. it gets slapped in my face. I'm running out of faith.
Pic 1: second test. Comparing a unused test to the taken test. You can see a faint positive line.
Pic 2: third & fourth test. The top is an EPT and the bottom is a Early response. You can see the faint positive in the test on the bottom.
the one to the left is the first pregnancy test I took. As you can see the + is almost there. Which is why I took tests 2-4.
{EPT}
At the Dr's office the nurse told me to go buy a 'pink' lined test instead of all the blue ones. Those were the most accurate to take.. so I did.
I only got one line. I was confussed because after getting so many positives i couldn't understand why this one showed a negative. My GF swore she could see a line so we put it in a filter to see it better.. I don't see it. Anyway showing all these pictures just elaborates on my frustration and the biggest false hope imaginable.
Right now because I'm so frustrated I'm debating on skipping the next IUI and waiting on IVF this August. IVF isn't something I ever planned on doing so it's a big step for me to comprehend. I dont' have anything against the procedure, it's just a lot to take in. I'm just convinced that we aren't going to get pregnant by doing the same IUI's over and over again. It's insane.
I guess I still have a glimmer of hope that my period wont come and that I'll have to retake the blood test. Secretly hoping that I magically get a positive and this is all just a huge misunderstanding because it's so early. It's extremely early. It just gets harder and harder to stay positive when every time it's a negative. It's hard. Infertility is a hard road.
I am so sorry for all of your struggles. Thinking about you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie. I was handling all of this really well until I got the 'false' positives. that took me into a whole new level of disappointment. I'll bounce back.. I just have a lot of choices to make. <3, Amy
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