Monday, May 5, 2014

my next move.

It's been a long weekend.

I've tried to stay to myself as much as possible. I just have a lot going through my head and I need to make some decisions now. I keep hearing that I don't but I know myself and I need to make them now before I get tempted to go down a different path.

Our Dr's office has informed us that we have one more IUI to do. In July we sit down and talk all about Invitro and then we can actually do our IVF in August/September. Along with the baby stuff I will need to have knee surgery. It will take six weeks before I can walk on it and about six months to be able to function normally.

I'm debating on skipping the next IUI and focus on my knee surgery. I don't see the knee Dr until the 21st of May. By the time I do get this surgery it will be time to sit down about the IVF. I'm hoping that if I can do the surgery by June then I'll get to do the IVF in August - it will have given me six weeks to heal. It seems so far apart but really they re going to battle each other to the finish line. If I'm not able to stand now without being in pain how can I stand on my knee pregnant? I'll be miserable! I can't do surgery while I'm pregnant and recuperate {I've asked} because you can't take anything but Tylenol - the pain could add to much stress to my body & pregnancy.

It's just a big tornado in my head. These two things just swirlin' around in front of me. I feel like no matter what I choose it's wrong. If I skip the next IUI is it giving up? Is it needing a break? What if the next one works and don't have to do the IVF? Everytime I ask the husband he says it's my decision and my decision alone. But if I go ahead and do the IUI and get pregnant my knee will steal the show by being in pain all the time. I'll have physical therapy, not be able to take any pain meds, and do it all while I'm preggo. That's not how I thought I'd celebrate my first pregnancy.

I know nobody can give me the answer. I know that this is my choice. It's just so much at once. I mean they can't make it easier by saying "Oh you wont do IVF until Oct and by the time your knee surgery gets here it will be after Christmas". Nope.. they've {the universal throw it at ya committee} just got to pile it on all at once. BAH!!

I'll figure it out. I know the importance of both options. I know that my health and knee is very important. I also know that the first IVF could just inform us on what's wrong and why we aren't conceiving. I know that if I follow the Dr's advice and strengthen my calf and thigh my healing process with go faster. I also know that if I don't strengthen that thigh muscle they wont do the surgery.

Thanks for listening to me. I'm sure one day I'll laugh at this post. Right now these are huge decisions in my path.. I know I'll make the right one.

No comments:

Post a Comment