Words do hurt. Words hurt more than people realize or want to admit. Some people try to be really delicate with fertility stuff. Some don't.
I've been told "Maybe it's just not the right time". "It will happen when it's the right time". "Have you thought about adoption?" "What happens when you go through all of this and still don't have a baby?" "How much longer are you going to try?" "Are you two comfortable having a 'no sex' baby?" "Are you sure it's Gods will to create a child in a pastry dish?" If God wanted you to have a baby don't ya think you'd get pregnant without Drs?"
lately more hurtful words have come from people close to me.. ok well one person...
"I wish I could give you my 'used' uterus.. I'll never use it again". "I've had my two - I wish I could just donate my uterus to you". "I wish I could have your babies for you". "I have two you can just have one of mine". "Do you think I could donate my eggs to you?" ... and the newest and most hurtful one of all.... "My friend was told that she couldn't have babies.. then she found out she had cancer. After her cancer treatments she got pregnant! Now she has two kids.. maybe you should get cancer".
I don't have a bad uterus! I've thought about adoption but want to exahust all my fertility options. I don't want someones kid.. I want mine. I don't need different eggs.. as far as we know mine work fine. Yes we are find with a 'no sex baby'. I'm going to try as long as they will let me try - which is either at the end of three IVF's now. I'm perfectly find with creating a baby in 'a pastry dish' - it's my egg and his sperm. If I do all this and end up with out a baby - at least I'll know that I did all that I could to make my dream happen. When that road ends we, my husband & I, will agree on the right way to go.
I dont' need another cancer scare and I don't want to get cancer to have a baby.
While I respect everyone's right to have kids and while I respect everyone's decision on how they raise their kids. I don't feel it's right to cast judgement on my fertility adventure.. I just don't. I don't stand out and picket abortion clinic, adoption offices or State Family Care centers. I don't knock on doors of houses of people who had their kids taken away. I don't raise judgement for parents who's kids are in foster care. I don't wonder what the parent did wrong when their child is born with a disability. We all handle the road we are given differently - it makes us unique. I don't feel that anyone has the right to judge me for my choices. Maybe I walk this path to help others. Maybe because I've walked this path I'll adore my child more then a sixteen year old would - but then again that is judgemental.
I'm tired of being nice and holding my tongue when people say such outladish remarks. It's none of anyone's buisness to judge how I choose to live my life. If you don't like it then you have the option to walk away.
Just remember that words hurt and just because we don't understand someone's path doesn't mean we have to judge them for how they choose to walk it.