Thursday, July 31, 2014

Dierks' Bentley concert part II

So yesterday I shared part one where i told you about our VIP access, our seats, and the swag I purchased. The day before that I talked about when I fell in love with Dierks and how he isn't just a hot guy in tight jeans kinda love for me here.  Today I'm going to share a TON of picture with you and a video. Then I'll share the experience that changed my love affair with the man.

I took a 'blast' of picture of Dierks from the big screen next to us. So here are a couple of them.

These are some I got once I got up close.. I was so close

At one part of his concert he ran up to an area by where we were. We were close but I wanted to be closer. I DID get closer.. very close. Thanks to some fan who, literally, moved me closer by putting me in his 'box' area. I was diagonal from Dierks as her performed two songs. Then when the fanatic in me couldn't be any happier - the most amazing thing happen!

 If you still aren't sure what you just watched.. I touched Dierks Bentley's hand. Yes. I. Did. So that crazy scream you hear at the end... yes that was me. I screamed and screamed. I kissed the guy who moved me into his box seating area {on the cheek} and said thank you. I walked two boxes down and entered mine. I watched the rest of the concert with a new kind of fanatic high.

"I Hold On" came on and while he described the song I knew I was going to shed some tears. It's an emotional song for me. Two cords in I had a nice cry.. not an ugly one... but the tears definitely fell down my face.

After all the money I spent.  After all the preparing. After all the beers and babysitters. It was worth it all. I'm just sad it was over so quickly. I can't wait to buy tickets to his next concert and up my 'fanatic' experience by getting back stage passes! Meet & Greet!!

Hope you enjoyed the past three days reading about the concert of MY lifetime - so far. I hope you have come to understand why I'm so obsessed with this artist. And I hope you also got a chance to check out his Riser Tour when it came to your area. Maybe, just maybe, this also encouraged you to become a fan of his too.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Dierks Bentley's Concert.

Sunday July 27th Dierks Bentley came and brought his "Riser" tour too Chula Vista, CA.  It was amazing!! I bought tickets in March and got VIP tickets. Not all access {Meaning no Meet & Greet} but we got the royal treatment non the less.

I took my roomie Abby with me.

We got the VIP red carpet treatment

They "Wined and Dined" us before the concert.

We were able to enter the VIP area before, during and after the concert.
 It was well worth the extra $$
Our seats were just the best..
 Why yes we do have our very own table. It was amazing.

Our view to the stage.. telling you it was perfect! 

After Chase Rice and Chris Young.. 
Dierks took the stage. 

but before that I bought some swag.

the hat

the awesome tank top

and the koozie. 

more Dierks Bentley concert pictures tomorrow ...

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Dierks Bentley

If you know me at all then you know I'm obsessed with Dierks Bentley.

I've been in love with him since his first release in 2003 "What Was I thinkin'" My love affair grew as more and more of his songs seems to fit my life. "Settle For A Slowdown" was my second favorite song. "Long Trip Alone", "Distant Shores" and "Some Day I'm gonna get there" helped me through the death of my Dad in 2007. No I'm serious.. those three songs were the core of my grief and they allowed me to cry the pain away.
Then he came out with "Feel that Fire", "Sideways", "I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes" and "Little Heartwrecker" rocked my life in 2009. Those songs made me realize I wanted something more.. I wanted that feeling of complete love & lust.
In 2010 my life changed completely. So it was no surprise that with the whirlwind of events Dierks shared his love of blue grass music in his 2010 release "Up On The Ridge". While the album again gave me that fast paced heart felt sound - it also helped me move foward with the new chapters of my life as they started unfolding.
In 2011 my life began to settle. I found a man to spend the rest of my life with & I found that love/lust feeling I craved. We had bought a house and for the first time I felt at home. Dierks album in 2011 was also, surprisingly, called "Home" and his song took me to a new level. Being a new military wife a song that talked about a nations hardships and how we have prevailed just made it all click. "Home" also featured the awesome drinking - party songs "5-1-5-0", "Tip It On Back" and "Am I The Only One".
In 2014 Dierks released "Riser". It features an emotional song "I Hold On" that couldn't fit my life any better. My vehicle was totalled in 2013 and it was the last thing my Dad gave to me.. to have a song that talks about that... I mean it's so emotional. The whole song. Hits so many heart strings that I shed a tear every time it plays.. every time. It hits many notes in my life but for some reason "Riser" spoke to my heart. While I can't deny "Bourbon in Kentucky", "Drunk on a Plane" and "Damn these Dreams".. "Riser" is my favorite. It's a song about strength, achieving goals and not giving up. I feel that is a representation of how I feel about my life.. which is why I got the "Riser" logo tattoo this past March.

I think in our lifetime we all have that one artist that speaks to us. Directly. To our Heart. Dierks Bentley is mine. My love affair is not just a superficial he looks good in those jeans - like Luke Bryan. Dierks' music has meaning, memories and captured changes in my life & for that I'll always be that crazy Dierks Bentley fan.

What artist has impacted your life?

 tune in tomorrow for concert details & pictures.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

I can do this

The hardest part about my knee injury has been missing the gym. 

The fear of hurting again or another set back keeps me from stepping in the gym. 

The things I've been able to accomplish in physical therapy these past weeks have built that desire and courage to start up again. Of course it has to be slow and taken a day at a time but I gotta face that fear and go back.  I worked too hard last year to throw it away now. Plus it's good for my osteoarthritis to get back into the routine. 

It's good for my future mini me's and it's good to have the gym during the infertility process. 
I have a YMCA membership that I need to start using. 
I have looked up the schedules for the water aerobics because it will be good for my knee.
Otherwise I want to start focusing on weight lifting to tone my arms, legs and try to get rid of the stomach pooch. 

I can do this.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

finally some good

Blogging isn't always about the good. As I have been posting I'm in a touch spot, personally, right now. Sometimes sharing where you are can open doors that you didn't see before from someone else. Due to my past I'm a firm believer that you have to find a way to lift yourself up and not rely on others. I like when I'm proven wrong and simple things people do can lift your spirits and make you feel 'stronger'. A couple of wonderful things happened today. They may seem small in the big scheme of things but they were huge to me. 

1. I got to really talk to a good friend of mine that I lost touch with about a year ago. Getting all these things out and open didn't make it seem like such a huge load. Different perspectives are a huge deal. I'm glad that he could repeat different things and make me realize that they were kinda petty and small. I'm also glad that I got to really vent without having to text someone or be within a 45 minute time slot.

2. The IVF coordinator called my husband & I to set up our schedule. It's really happening. We are about to dive into the biggest and scariest infertility adventure and we are excited. I've googled a couple of medicines but the Military Infertility facebook group I'm apart of really helped me by explaining the procedure. I now know a little more of what to expect, what the time lines are and also found a couple of other ladies who also got their phone call today. I won't be walking this journey alone & it's nice to know that I'll have other people to ask questions too.. but most importantly understand. We decided to have a meetup on the 16th to introduce ourselves .. possibly a new friend or two. That's pretty awesome. 
I'm debating on keeping my schedule and procedures quiet. I feel that the more I talk about them & share them the more I feel the disappointment. I want to share my stories. I want to help others through these difficult journeys ~ it's why I blog. I also feel that it puts a lot of pressure on myself to achieve this dream.  

3. I went to the gym. Yep you are reading that right .. I went to the gym. My second trip since I hurt my knee. Third trip this year.  I'm so proud of myself. I didn't do anything close to what I was doing but baby steps. I did a 7 min brisk walk on the treadmill, 10 min spin on the bike, 10 min glide on the elliptical and a 10 min stair climber machine. I mean that was 37 min more then I was doing before..  
I was also blessed to be included with my room mate and his girlfriend tonight. It's nice that even when I can't be on their workout level they still invited me, checked up on me and encouraged me. Seriously awesome. The plan is to go back tomorrow and do arms. I can keep up with them on arms but legs are a little tricky for me right now. 

All in all I think it was a nice turn of events for me. I think it was nice to hear from certain people. to be included. to achieve a goal. to get the IVF phone call. Finally some good.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

this has been a rough year.

There are days that I want to take this blog down.
I want to be able to provide you, the readers, with happy posts.
I feel like I neglect you all for such crappy material I'm posting.. but this is my life.
It seems that 2014 isn't being as kind to me as I hoped and I've been through a lot so far.. and it's not slowing down.

I have osteoarthritis and tendinitis in my knee. It scares the crap out of me and leaves me in a lot of pain majority of the time. I can't imagine the remainder of my life dealing with this & I want answers on how to live with it. I want to run with my kids, I want to do the things that a Mom would do with her kids - without being in pain. Aside from the parental concerns; I'm in my 30's .. I want a normal life. What is normal anyway?

There are days I wonder about the direction of my life. I look at all the times I've just wasted being unhappy and complaining. I look at all the bad times and wish I had a magic clock to rewind so I would do so many things differently and at the same time - I don't regret anything. I'm in such a dark place right now with just everything.

There are so many different things going on in my life aside from the current knee stuff. I battle the infertility daily. I'm tired and I want to just walk away. We all know I wont though and I'll give myself the chance to do two rounds of invitro before really walking away. This is hard too knowing this is my last year to try to have a biological baby.

So much has changed this year.. and it all seems to be so sad and negative.

My family life is even worse with my immediate life. My living situation with all the roomies isn't any better. It's a daily adjustment, aggravation and I don't want to vent about it on the blog. It's not fair to them to be talked about on here. {both family and roomies} So I bottle it up. Talk to my close best friends and push through. At the end of this I just want to hurry up and move past all the bullshit.

I also am waiting for the upcoming announcement of orders with my husband & it's even more stress.
2014 wraps up shore duty for us on top of everything else. It's just overwhelming. I wish I had the support group that I needed to try and change this negative outlook. It's all on me to make each day count and move forward.. believe me I am trying.

I just want to say that I'm thankful that you guys are still reading my blog and cheering me on. I really really need the support right now. So please keep me in your prayers. Please don't give up on me. If we are friends outside of the blog, I really need you right now.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

more Dr bs

To follow up to my post knee osteoarthritis I scheduled a appointment with my primary Dr. The problem was my primary was out of town for the weekend so I got another Dr in the office. I got there 45 minutes early, on purpose, and got to be seen right away. The 'nurse' was really nice and sweet. Aside from the fact that he made me check my weight on the scale, he was a sweetie.
The women Dr walked in and everything changed.
After a few moments of being in my room she announced that the computers were down and she couldn't access my file. I almost walked out.
She asked for a complete run down of events since March but for someone who couldn't access my file she sure knew a lot about my events. She questioned everything I said. everything. After telling her about my experience with the surgeon she told me that I couldn't be telling the truth. Because she couldn't access my file and read what he had written it was to be 'predetermined'. That's when I walked out. She raced after me telling me that I was over reacting. I lost my mind.
I turned on a heel in front of god and everyone and said "I have been in pain for the past four months. four months. I have done everything that you have asked me to do. Physical therapy. Waiting for a MRI. I have followed every procedure! I'm in pain. I can't walk around without being in pain. I can't do my job as a housewife. I am tired of being in pain. I'm supposed to be able to rely on my 'hometeam' for support but all you and Dr R do is call me a liar. Now I think I've been through enough pain and I want help. I want to know what step I need to talk to stop being in pain."
Her face went as white as could be. She pursed her lips together really thin and squinted her eyes at me. I swear she almost spit the words at me "You need to work with physical therapy. You need to drop fourty pounds. Don't worry about rescheduling an appointment with Dr. R or calling physical therapy today because it wont be in the system. You need to make a choice between your fertility journey and your knee. If I was you I'd focus on physical therapy, drop some weight and put your fertility stuff on hold. That's my medical opinion."
I was shaking. I was pissed. I was so infuriated that someone could stand there and say the things she did. So I calmly stated back "I was working out before I hurt my knee. If you had done your job four months ago I wouldn't have to make a choice between my leg or a baby.  You have no right to judge me or make judgements about my life choices. I made an appointment to see you today so that I could get help because I have been in pain for four months. Again you are my 'hometeam' which means that you are the one I'm supposed to be going too for help. You are supposed to be on my side not wasting my time with your 'our computers crashed' bs.
That's when I walked out.
I did call physical therapy and they made a evaluation appointment for me right away. I also called the fertility department to talk about the option of taking a steriod shot for a while. I also found out that I need to see a rheumatologist because osteoarthritis is a progressive disease. {I use that term lightly}. All of this without the help of my, so called, hometeam.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Our Fourth

We started our weekend a little early.
On the 2nd I joined my husband & his Command for a day at the ball park watching the Padres game.

On the 3rd we had a friend of ours come over and we started drinking. I found this ad on facebook for a drink - watermelon vodka, lemonade and fruit. I couldn't find the watermelon vodka so I used Vanilla Vodka and just lemonade. {It's amazing} I got buzzed and then we decided to start playing beer pong.. trouble with that is I am horrible at the game. I mixed to much of my vodka mixture with beer. I was trashed.

On the 4th I had this whole big thing planned. We invited some friends over for a Fourth of July lunch. I had bought fresh corn on the cobb, marinated two racks of ribs, bought stuff for jalapeno poppers, got a watermelon drunk, and some baked beans. I was so hung over, my very first hangover,that I slept the majority of the morning. If I wasn't sleeping I was drinking water and muttering the hang over promise to anyone who would listen. {I'll never drink again}. My 'amazing' husband cooked all the food while I slept it off. We had a great lunch with a bunch of friends and it was great!

We left to go watch the fireworks at my husbands base. We decided to tailgate across the street before going to watch the show. We promised the two little kiddos they could play on the jumpy houses and slides.. problem with promises and drinking.. they don't go hand in hand. By the time the non designated drinkers got done with their Jack n Cokes they were shutting the games/rides/food down. With two screaming kids in tow we claimed our fireworks spot. About five minutes before kick off a lady came over and asked my husband to watch his language "because it was a family event" because he said the word ass. Now I'm not sure if my Sailor is like any of yours but mine got irritate. I'm sure the drinking before hand didn't help. At any case my husband was embarrassed and felt it better that he retreat to the car for the show.. he didn't feel he could keep his mouth shut. I was furious. My, possibly, last Fourth of July before he deploys again and he was in a parking lot instead of next to me. I got my satisfaction by asking the lady to stop talking while the National Anthem was being sang.

I watched the show with my friends, as my husband set in our SUV, and tried to enjoy the show. After getting home my husband walked to the room, still drunk, and went to bed. Our friends dispersed and went to a neighbors house to drink and celebrate. I went to bed. What a day. All in all it was an 'OK' holiday.

To be my favorite holiday I wasn't exactly happy with the way everything turned out but all in all it was Ok. The food turned out great, our friends were all together and we had a good time. I mean that's all counts right? I wished I wouldn't have gotten so drunk. I wish I had been able to really enjoy the actual day but I don't regret it.

I hope you all enjoy the pictures and had a great Fourth. I can't wait to read about everyone else's holiday!

Thursday, July 3, 2014

"Where she went" reivew

I wrote the other day about the first book "If I Stay" and I just finished reading the second book "Where She Went".

Rating: 4 out of 5

Summary: This book is takes place threes after the horrible tradgedy with Mia and her family. It's about Adam. It tells the story of his fame and how his musical career took off and how his band is a huge success. It tells us how hard it's been for Adam to carry on without Mia in his life. He struggles with the memories of her family, especially her little brother Teddy. 
His band boards a flight overseas but he stays behind in New York - promising to fly out the next day. He goes to clear his head and ends up in front of the carnige hall where his long lost love, Mia, is preforming. After watching her concert he is called back stage by Mia herself. They haven't seen each other in three years and spend the whole evening catching up, talking about the past and trying to figure out what the future holds.
It's very emotional. I wasn't able to put the book down and ended up reading it in one day. It's good.

This book doesn't jump around like the first one and is very emotional. One moments he's sad, the next he is angry and then he is confused. I love how you can stay with the story line. You get closer, as well as Adam, from book one. You also learn more about Adam's version to everything that happened. 

I wasn't so pleased with book one - but book two sure did change the way I felt about the whole story! I highly recommend this book for a quick read. 

My next two books just arrived. I'll be starting "Miss Peregrine's home for Peculiar Children" by Ransom Riggs tomorrow and also bought the second book "Hollow City" by Ransom Riggs. The books came highly suggested by my friend Raven from "Don't Quote the Raven".

Enjoy the Fourth of July everyone! Have a safe and wonderful weekend! I can't wait to read and see all the amazing things you all share next week. 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The History of the Fourth

It's not a big secret that Fourth of July is my favorite holiday. All time favorite.
Picnics, Watermelon, Adult beverages, fireworks... what could be better then that??

Every year I try to do a big lunch before we head off to watch fireworks. I'm also known to film the firework show...

But why do we celebrate the 4th of July? What is the History behind the day??

The Fourth of July is to celebrate when the United States became it's own independent nation on July 4th, 1776. The Declaration of Independence was given it's final approval by the Continental Congress.
People didn't celebrate Independence Day for the first 15 - 20 years after the Declaration was written.

John Adams was persistent that he wanted us to celebrate the 4th & even wrote about it to Abigail Adams on July 3, 1776. In 1817 John Adams complained that it wasn't celebrated. Thomas Jefferson & John Adams both passed away on July 4th, 1826 ~ and may have helped promote the celebration of Independence day. It wasn't until 1940 that the Fourth of July became declared a National holiday.

So why the fireworks?

It was in the letter that John Adams wrote to Abigail Adams that the 4th should be celebrated "with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells and Bonfires and illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward and Forever more". The first commemorative Independence fireworks were set off on July 4th, 1977.

So while we are watching the beautiful firework show this year .. silently thank John Adams for his belief that this should just what it is. Celebrated and remembered with "Illuminations from one end of the continent to the other" for the signing of the Declaration of Independence.


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Knee Osteoarthritis

I have learned many things about military Dr's.
1. Patience is a key.
2. You are going to get five different opinions before getting the correct diagnosis.
3. You are going to want to kill someone before it's all over.

So I have shared my frustrations over the course of the past four months. After fighting through physical therapy, getting a MRI and now seeing a surgeon.. it's all been for nothing. yep.. for nothing.
I met with a surgeon today, who really needs to work on his bed side manner, that told me that I do not have a torn meniscus or MCL. The only thing that Sharp, who did my MRI, and himself found was that I have "Osteoarthritis" in the knee and don't need knee surgery.

What does this mean? I have to wear this knee brace ... beautiful isn't it.

I have to sit still for a couple of weeks. I have the option of taking a 'steroid' shot (which I can't take due to infertility treatments). This also means that I have to start all over and make a call to my primary doctor. Since the lining of my knee is wearing down - my life activities will be limited for a while. I did, however, read that exercise is greatly suggested to regain the strength to the knee - possibly decreasing pain too. 

My awesome hubby also fought me some 'fish oil' vitamins and Glucosamine / Chondroitin / MSM vitamins to help. 

As thankful as I am to not need surgery.. I'm very upset that I took this whole journey for nothing. This could have all been fixed a long time ago... but lets dwell on the positive.. NO SURGERY!