Wednesday, October 29, 2014

taking it easy

It's been a couple of days since our embryo transfer. We ended up transferring two embryo's and freezing one. Our embryologist was able to give us pictures of each and every one of our embryo's - which was very emotional for me. Since I've shared this picture on instagram and facebook I'll share it with you guys too:

This is our strongest embryo that we used which our doctors named the "over achiever". I think that once we find out that these babies decided to stick around I'm going to put these individual embryo pictures on a canvas. Kinda weird I know but it's their first baby picture. We also got our first ultrasound to see the babies after they were implanted and THAT was very emotional for the both of us.

The Dr told me to take it easy for three days. Not bed rest but close enough. No sweeping, no vaccuming, no mopping, no bending over and no lifting anything. Which in my house equals bed rest. My husband has been amazing! The house is really dirty, in my opinion, since I haven't been able to do anything for almost two weeks. BUT he's been doing dishes, loading the washer and dryer while I fold, cleaning the kitty box, feeding the dogs.. all the stuff I normally do.

So what have I been doing? Watching Ghost Hunters all day. October is a the best time to watch ghost shows.. so it's been awesome!! No honestly I'm losing my mind. I like to stay busy so just laying around all day isn't easy or fun for me. Top it all off everybody is busy and I have been by myself. I can't just skype or call someone to keep my day going.. so that's been really hard too.

I'm taking estrogen and progesterone until we take a blood test because it helps 'glue' the pregnancy together. I have talked to our Dr everyday for the past week & he seems pretty confident that this worked for us. He's also confident that we will be having twins but we will tell in good time. I'm not having any symptoms with the meds or otherwise. I have a very black n blue belly button which they think is from the baby aspirin.

That's all. I will try to enjoy my last day of watching Ghost Hunters and dreaming of potatoes (because that's what I do now... another blog post). It's almost Halloween so I'm looking forward to the awesome costume posts!!!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

day before Embryo Transfer

I've been updating my IVF journey on the blog & on instagram. I keep sharing thsi stuff for myself later, and for others to hopefully feel more comfortable about IVF. I was so apprehensive to try IVF myself so I feel it's important to share my story.
So we are on day 4.
Yesterday and today we got great news that everything is developing correctly. We have a single embryo that is really developing and the Dr has named it the "over achiever". I have been very thrilled to hear daily updates and it's made the process so amazing! These are things that we would never know or see with having a 'bedroom' baby.
Our Dr has talked to us about only using the 'over achiever' for our embryo transfer. I've decided to go ahead with two embryo's and not just use one. The reason is.. I have this *feeling* that the over achiever is too good. I know it sounds weird and silly. I'd rather use two and take my chances with a multiple pregnancy then to put all my chips in one basket.  So i want to use two and then we will freeze the remaining five.
Since we are also transfering on day 5 - we have a shorter wait period to find out if it worked. The process from here is that the embryo "cryo blast" should hatch from the egg and burrow into the uterine lining. From that point should take a couple of days for the HCG surge to go through the body.  We should be able to take a pregnancy test on the 7th of Nov. I want to wait a little while to announce a pregnancy - well at least wait until the 8 week mark.
This should be a quick procedure tomorrow. I should be back up and doing my normal routine Tuesday. Thank you all for following us along. It's important that I documented this journey no matter what happens.  It's been a great experience and I'm really happy we decided to go down this path.

Friday, October 24, 2014

day 2 update.

I apologize to all those who are tired of reading about my IVF stuff. I know it's a little much but it's a great way to document the steps that we took to have a baby. I also know that I will be turning this into a book - just like I did "Trial & Triumphs of Loving my Sailor". So thank you to all who are reading and following along. Please feel free to follow along on instagram too.

Day 2:

Our Dr called this am for our daily update and I was just blown away on what he had to say. Yesterday I posted about how we have 'half a dozen' embryo's. Today we found out that we have 7!! One of the six took a slow start to dividing so it wasn't counted - but at today's check he said it divided perfectly and we now have 7!! I have seven babies!! lol
So we have two that split into five cells, four that split into four cells and the one that split into three! So they look like this today.

So tomorrow our cells should be split into 8 cells. I'm super excited these babies are doing so well. I can't wait to share with you guys the progress tomorrow! We do our transfer on Monday and so far we are still using two and freezing the rest.

Until tomorrow. Please keep praying with me.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

half a dozen

We got our first update on our babies.
Yesterday we retrieved 12 eggs and today we found out that we have 6 fertilized embryo's.
As the days go by they should continue to split. Tomorrow our babies should look like little clovers. Saturday they should look like a 8 celled flower. Ok lets tone it down a little and take this day by day. Today our little eggies look like this {this is NOT one of our actual eggs}:

We did find out that our embryo transfer will be on Monday. Until then I'm taking progesterone injections once a day, doxycycline {again}, and another antibiotic.
I'm feeling good. The retrieval made me feel like I have heavy cramping which is where the percocet has come into play. My plan tomorrow is try and take ibuprofen instead of the percocet.

I'm not going to lie and I say I didn't tear up when I found out we lost six eggs. I will say that according the Dr that this is a normal process. Although he couldn't give me a apx % of how many would survive the remaining journey before embryo transfer. I will say that I have said more prayers in the past week then I have my whole life.

I also know to people these are just cells. To me - these are our babies. I wish I could be there in the lab watching over them. Praying for them. Whispering how much I already love them. I wish I could send them my energy and think I have given them a will to keep growing. I know it sounds silly.
Hopefully tomorrow we are still working with a healthy half dozen.

Please keep praying for our babies. I can't wait to inform you all on our healthy six tomorrow.

our egg retrieval

Yesterday we had our Egg Retrieval.  If you follow me on instagram or facebook then you have already heard that everything went great! Just stopping in to make a quick update post for those following us along. 

Everything went really smoothly and they were able to retrieve 12 eggs! I was being rolled out of the operating room when they were telling my husband. I must of snapped out of the anesthesia as they rolled me to recovery because when I heard that I started to cry. I kept repeating "12?" and my Dr started to laugh. The nurse was worried I was going to scratch my face with my IV so she held my hand all the way to recovery. As we got into recovery our Dr gave us a list of things we have to do before the Embryo transfer. 

We got to the hospital around 9:15 and went back for the retrieval around 10:30. We went back to recovery around 12:30 it took us a little longer then expected to go home. We waited almost two hours.  The only thing I wanted after we left the hospital was Jack n Box. I'm not sure when my love for Jack happened but it hit the spot. 

So now comes the hardest part .. staying still for the next 48 hours. I feel fine. I'm in pain but it just feels like the worst cramps ever. Not too bad. I can say that I'm beyond excited that they were able to get 12 eggs. Now we wait to see how many of the eggs become fertilized and can survive all they way to the embryo transfer. I'm hoping we'll get an update sometime today or tomorrow on how our little ones are doing. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

we made a wish

we made a wish

the last time I wrote I talked about a level scare and since then it has been a winding road. I started with 22 eggs and as we continued I lost 14. The drop was due to the fluctuation in the meds because my Dr was scared when my levels got slightly high - which I wrote about in my last post. My Dr upped my meds back to what they were and we started to see some egg growth. When I went in for a sonogram on Friday we had four eggs and my Dr explained that if we didn't get more then four mature eggs then we would have to stop. We'd stop the meds and start them all over to get at least four mature eggs to move forward with. On Sunday I went in for another sonogram to find that I had 1 mature egg, two semi mature and about 6 smaller ones. He didn't seem really hopeful that we would be moving forward.

I'm not going to lie I went home and cried. It was the most devastating thing to hear but I also understood the process. I went to bed Sunday night and prayed. I prayed that if we were meant to do this then we would have the eggs we needed. I prayed that God would give me peace & understanding of the situation. I prayed for comfort and guidance on moving forward. I prayed that the medicine I have/had been injecting myself with would work - if this was our cycle.
Today I went in for our final sonogram. It was a late sonogram - which was good because it gave me time to pray again, talk to my Mom & brother. I found peace in the thought of having to start the injections all over.

I showed up early and was really nervous about what we were going to find and disguise. I had written a couple of questions down to ask the Dr as well. I cant' explain how amazed and speechless I was when our sonogram showed 7 mature eggs. 7! We went from one mature egg to seven in less then 24 hours. The number is lower then what my husband & I wanted but it was a blessing to hear that we had 7. My Dr felt very confident that we should move forward and scheduled our egg retrieval for Wednesday the 22nd.  My Dr also felt that taking another dosage of the injections would hopefully get us a couple more eggs and our number would be greater then 7. Tonight I took my set of injections and in a hour I'll take my 'trigger' shot. The trigger shot will slow down ovulation and give us time to get in for our retrieval.

What happens from here is that I wont have to take any medication tomorrow {yay!} Wednesday we will wake up and head to the hospital for our retrieval. The eggs & sperm will be mixed together and monitored. They will be looking for fertilization and embryo growth. I'll be sent home with strict bed rest orders for at least 48hrs. The embryo's will be graded by their growth & we will be updated daily on their growth. We are aware that we could lose some of the eggs due too not fertilizing or not make it through the 'blast' stage. Three - Five days later we will take the best two fertilized embryo's and do a 'embryo transfer'. I'll have a week of staying off my feet as much as possible to allow my body to heal in time for the transfer. Then the next couple of days of rest is to help the embryo's get comfortable so it will stay.

Our journey is almost complete. We will be 75% of the way after the embryo transfer then we'll have another 10-12 days before we take a blood pregnancy test. It all seems so far away but it will go so fast. So as I'm thankful that this is almost over, blessed on the results that we have gotten and ready to see a positive pregnancy test. So here is to making a wish and praying it comes true. Thank you all for your support and following along. Hopefully we have some good news to share with everyone in Dec. I want to make sure to get past 8 weeks before we share if we are pregnant or not since I've had a hard time caring past that 8 weeks. Again Thank you all for following along & I appreciate all the prayers.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

level scare

A couple of things in this quick post. First lets get through the fertility stuff.

Yesterday I had blood work done so they could check my estrogen levels. The Dr called to say that my levels were really high. So I learned that my levels are supposed to be between 200-300 right now and they were 325. Levels above 300 can be a sign of OHSS - which is really scary. I felt really positive about it though and made an appointment for a sonogram this morning.

This morning I went to get more blood work drawn & had my sonogram. I haven't gotten my levels back today for this mornings blood work but the sonogram went really well. The Dr said that sometimes a 'egg' gets away from the flock and does it's own thing. That doesn't seem to be the case and everything is going great. I have another sonogram on Friday morning and I should be able to start "gonadotropin" that evening.  Which means that we are still on track for our retrieval to be next week.

We bought our "Stagecoach" tickets for next April yesterday!! I'm super excited that we are going! Such an amazing line up and I'm NOT missing a chance to see Dierks Bentley - pregnant or not! Tickets are still on sale if you are wanting to go too - just go to {Let me know if you are going too!!} And here is the lineup for next year that stagecoach released early this month:

And lastly. I have a online Scentsy party going on for two more days! If you are wanting to order please do so before the 17th of October. You can order from any location so don't be shy ordering from Ohio or Texas. You can go too here facebook Scentsy page to check out any sales going on or go directly to her Scentsy page. Please just look for the party under "Amy" to place your order. Please let me know if you order so I can thank you for helping Erin out.

That's all I got for everyone today. I'd love to hear from you so please feel free to leave me a comment! You can also follow me through my facebook blog page & through my instagram account. I'd love to hear from you!

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Columbus weekend.

How was everybody's weekend??

Friday my husband was home for the day. We took advantage of the day & finished my fabric shelf that I bought at a garage sale the Friday before. We worked together & got it all finished. Here is the shelf before I started working on it.

Below is the finished product.
I sanded it down.
Repainted it.
Linned the shelves with a liner to help the fabric not get caught on any splinters that would still be there. Plus it added a cute factor to the shelf.
I also added a backing to the shelf to add more durability to the shelf. It wobbled a lot before & I wanted to make sure it would stand the cats jumping on it.

After we put the shelf together I ran to my hair dresser so that she could retouch up my hair. The color keeps fading really fast. It lasted through two washes before I headed back to have it touched up. Hopefully it will last a little longer this time around because I really love this color. My hairdresser told me that red is the hardest color to keep and the hardest color to remove. Since it was blonde before it will take a couple of dyes before it sinks in. Fingers crossed.

Saturday morning I woke up to my phone going off asking me if I was watching THE bedlam game. University of Texas played Oklahoma University and it is THE game of the year. It was THE game when I lived in Oklahoma but now that I live in Cali I feel that I forget these things. I miss the simplicity and the friendliness of the South. I miss the excitement of college football games and getting together with friends and neighbors to watch a game. Although for us the game started at 9am it was a fun way to start the day off and share this with my husband. He witnessed the playful banter between friends over the teams and it was fun to watch him get into the game too.

After the UT and OU game my husband treated me to a pedicure. I bought a couple of nail polishes on Amazon a couple of weeks ago & I was excited to use one of them. My favorite polish was the OPI "Oktoberfest" and it's just as amazing on. We ended the day watching the Texas A&M game against Ole Miss. It was a fun day of college football and getting my toes done.

Sunday I woke up and was very nervous about the injections. I drank a cup of coffee on the front porch and just enjoyed the morning. At 10am my husband refilled my cup of coffee and surprised me by having my injection all ready. With menopur you have to empty a vile of liquid that looks like water and enter that liquid into another vile that has a white powder. You swish the liquid around and the powder dissolves. You take the syringe and empty the vile into it.. add a needle on the end and inject it. I was very smitten with the fact that he paid attention in injection class and had it ready for me. A couple hours after the injection of menopur I started to get really bad cramps. My hubby had duty so I got to wrestle these cramps by myself - thankfully.

 Before my husband left for watch he provided me with a handful of junk food to hold me over and it was really sweet. At 6pm I took my shot of follistim. Follistim comes in a injection pen that is super easy to use. I just tune the bottom of the pen to the dosage I'm supposed to take and inject it. I didn't have any issues with the follistim but I was feeling really bloated so I drank two cups of peppermint tea and went to bed.

Today I woke up and made breakfast. For the first time in my adult life I burnt bacon. I mean I burnt the bacon. On pinterest I found this pin about using your oven to make bacon. I love it! That's how I have made bacon for the past two years now. The problem was - I usually buy the THICK bacon & I bought just regular bacon on my last grocery trip. I shouldn't have left it in as long but I'm used to the THICK bacon. My sweet husband & my roomie cleaned the kitchen for me.. loaded the dishwasher.. wiped down the counters. I was very proud of them. I took my injection of menopur and we started our day with cleaning out our garage. It looks like it did when we moved it.. all the cob webs are gone, the floors are cleaned, the doors are wiped down and the dishwasher/dryer are spotless. After the garage got really cleaned we set down to talk about the upcoming party this weekend. I got my grocery list all together and left to go to the commissary. As I was leaving a friend showed up and I found out that it was closing at 4pm.

I made it to the store down the street - after stopping at Starbucks - and came back home to make a big batch of potato soup. After eating a big bowl of potato soup I feel asleep while the boys watched the 49ers game. My hubby woke me up to take my shot & I went back to sleep. My stomach is really hurting and it's hard to fall alseep.

Tomorrow I have to be up early so that I can go get bloodwork done & after that I need to run to the commissary. I have a busy week ahead of me. I'll share more about that on another post because lord knows this is long enough.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Our IVF journey has begun.

It's only been a couple of days since I last posted and I feel like I have so much to share!

Thursday I went to my RE and had an baseline ultrasound done. They made sure everything was ok and decided how much of the meds to give me. I had a great talk with my RE who told me that he was happy to see that we are finally going to do IVF. I respond to the meds really well so he is hoping that the low dosages and all the prior testing is going to pay off. Then he joked about how I should enjoy wearing jeans now because the meds make people really bloated and uncomfortable. Which reminds me.. I need want to stock up on some new comfy lounge pants.
I was directed to head to the pharmacy and get my meds. An hour later I walked out of the pharmacy with a huge bag of 13 boxes of meds... no seriously. I looked like I had won the pharmacy lotto.

At 2pm the husband & I went to what they called 'injection' class which I said before I thought was ridiculous considering I given myself injections before. We went to the San Diego Fertility Center & met with a really nice Dr. She talked to us about the storage of the embryo's & retaught us how to give injections. She was really nice & allowed us to ask all kinds of questions about the procedure. We left with goodies bags full of needles, syringe's, alcohol wipes and our very own super cool fertility folder.

After the talk with the Dr at the clinic the hubby & I left feeling really content and ready to start this journey.The positive feedback we heard from my RE and the Dr at the San Diego Fertility Clinic left us in a good place. I'm sure they don't tell people "well what the hell - we'll give it a go". I'm sure they are encouraging to every couple but all the same it gave us a boost of confidence in the procedure.  

I start giving myself injections on Sunday starting twice a day. I'll go back to my Dr's office for blood work on Tuesday so they can check my levels. The Dr reminded us that we aren't on a strict schedule with the retrieval date and it can fluctuate depending on how I respond to the meds. I'm praying it stays the 22nd because we have leave dates & such set up. 

Anyway other then that I've been enjoying my bottles glasses of wine while I can. Before I sign off I want to say Thank you all for following us through this amazing journey we are so blessed to do. It's such an amazing feeling to be able to afford to pursue our baby dreams. I encourage you to follow along with me on instagram or through facebook. I'll be posting pics and updates on both places as I go along.  

Thank you all again.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

goodbye Doxy

Today was my last day taking doxycycline. I can't believe we just took our last pill. The past ten days have just flown by. Tomorrow I stop taking birth control. I've been taking it for over three months now and I'm about to stop taking it. Thursday we have our baseline ultrasound that will map out our journey all the way to retrieval day.

My therapist asked me today how I was handling all of this. I can tell you all the facts and give you dates. I haven't googled anything about in-vitro either. I'm just trying to take this journey one day at a time but that doesn't answer his question. How am I handling all of this.

The honest answer is I'm not but I am in my own way. Every time we do a treatment I 'allow' myself to get excited and I plan ahead. I refuse to allow myself to do that this time. This is a different chapter and I'm afraid that I wont be able to keep my fingers from crossing or to stop myself from whispering silent prayers. I'm afraid to be excited and I'm afraid not too. I don't want to go through this, get a positive and not remember anything. I don't want to take pictures of injections or on retrieval day or on ultrasound days. At the same time I want all of those things. I want to look back in three years and show my children how I fought to have to them.

This is more emotional then I ever thought it would be. All I can do is take one day at a time. What is meant to happen will happen but the unknown makes me an emotional wreck. I have promised myself that I will force myself to relax and stay calm for a full two weeks. I have promised myself that I will read a whole lot of books and do as little to nothing as possible. It's all I can do. I know the most important days are from the retrieval to the blood work two weeks later. I know that the results of the blood work will either kill me or make me the happiest person in the world. That's a pretty big gap of the either / or.

While I don't know what I will do if we get a negative on blood work - I do know that I will keep the positive quiet for at least 8-9 weeks. I want to use the blog to document our journey. I want to document the emotional roller coaster {like this post} and all the future appointments. I just pray that this works & I pray that if it doesn't that my heart can handle the disappointment. I'm not sure what lays ahead for us if this doesn't work because I'm not sure I can put myself through this anymore. Which is sad and scary for me and it makes me wanna cry. I have wanted nothing more then to be a Mom.. nothing.  The pain and the worry and the heartache is just too much. It's hard pretending to be strong all the time because well face it nobody wants to hear you cry. After all we are the generation of "suck it up" at least that's how I feel.

Today we our last day of doxy and we have 14 whole days before our retrieval and I'm an emotional wreck.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

What a great week.

This is been a very crazy and full week!

Monday I recovered from the weekend by getting as many chores done as possible. Which is very relaxing in many ways for me. Knowing that I start off my week with a clean and functional house is important to me.  I got an Amazon package on Monday which I'm excited to share with you guys. My dear friend M talked me into buying a couple of sets of false eyelashes. I couldn't wait to try and put them on Monday after they arrived. I took some funny pics but here are just two..

I think they are a little too long & I need to trim them down just a little. They feel weird and it's hard to get them to stay on all day long. I think with more practice they will be awesome for a night out or a special event but I couldn't see myself wearing them everyday. 

On Tuesday I went and got my hair done. I was very skeptical when I first arrived. I asked a whole bunch of questions and showed off pinterest pictures that I had marked. After a brief conversation we decided on a hair color and I went with it.

I personally love the color change. It has faded a lot, which is disappointing, but I love it. I've only washed it once to try to help keep the color. It looked like I was washing blood from my hair! I have heard that red fades really quickly but I'm glad I took the plunge and tried it out. I will be redoing this color again & again! 

The rest of the week I have worked on my 'sewing room'. I should say craft room because it's a combination on Scentsy bars and warmers, fabric, and other crafty odds and ends. I did manage to sneak away and pick up some fabric from our local JOAnne's before ordering a whole bunch more off of I know a lot of people who are expecting a baby in March & May of 2015 so I stocked up fabric for both genders. I have a total of five unfinished blankets & I'm praying my own working space will help me complete all of them. 

This wooden gem came with a big brother of a wooden gem for $15! Garage sales are amazing sauce! I was talking to the hubby about making me a couple of these cubby boxes to store fabric in & I just happen to see them in a sale. I was so excited! The bigger one needs some TLC and once I get the room all squared away and set up I'll post more pics.

I think I need a couple of floating shelves and a three drawer plastic storage tote. Then I will have the most awesome craft room in town! I'm also thinking about painting the room but that will come much later.

We ended up Friday night at Outback Steakhouse to celebrate the roomies birthday. It was a fun treat and it was nice to stuff our faces with good food. Who doesn't love Outback?! Then we ended up back the house so the roomie could open a couple presents a little early because I couldn't wait until Sunday!

To end the week my husbands command volunteered to work booths at the Mirmar Air Show. We had the 'twilight' shift on Saturday. We worked a Nacho stand that also served hotdogs. It's always a fun experience to work these shows and have a little fun. I got to talk to a lot of cool people and I loved the kids reaction to the planes flying overhead. My favorite part was meeting four guys from Germany who were at the show! They were so excited and in awe of how big the air show was. They were so taken back by all the planes that we had to show off and the show itself. It was so amazing meeting some young men in the German military.

All in all it was an amazing week! From false lashes, to a new hair color, to getting my craft room set up, then topping it with an air show and celebrating our roomies birthday! It was nice to take a break from all the stress and have great things fall together. Next week starts our whirlwind of adventures with Invitro! I'm excited and hoping to be able to use the craft room to get through some of these jitters!

I hope everyone had a great week & I can't wait to see what fun you all had over the weekend! Leave me your blog url in the comments & I'll go check it out!! Thanks for stopping by!