Thursday, August 20, 2015

Negative.

Parenting is hard. Parenting is daunting just from your own prospectives. I can't tell you how many times a day I ask myself if I am being a good parent. Wonder if I could have done something better to soothe his cry. If I should skip the morning nap and take him for a stroll around the neighborhood - even though he is sleeping. I can't tell you how many times I've googled "how to play with a 6 week old" or "how to build cognitive skills for a six week old". It's so hard to be a parent and not judge ourselves on the job we are doing.
Then you add other opinions & comments. Some can be uplifting and supportive. Some you can call for a question and get solid advice. You post a simple question on a facebook group and cringe as you read the comments that start to pour in. Wonder how people are taking the comment that you posted because their comments aren't even close to what you said. EX. I joined a 'breastfeeding' support group via facebook. It came recommended by a good friend of mine and so I didn't hesitate to ask a question in regards of how to boost my milk supply. Instead of getting helpful information, I got attacked by other Mom's telling me what a horrible parent I am. My son doesn't latch which means that I'm not breastfeeding him. I'm pumping up to 10x a day so that my son can have breast milk instead of formula - but somehow that makes me a bad Mom. I refuse to force my son to take 'my' nipple verses a bottle's - that makes me a bad Mom. They went so far to even say that the amount that I was feeding my son was wrong - even though it was approved by our pediatrician.
My overall point isn't to point out how I feel about my parenting or to point out that some people were mean to me. The point I am trying to make is that - Parenting - life in general - is hard so why do we put people down instead of building them up? I think in a way we can all be bullies & through social media it's ok because we are sharing our points of views. People don't talk to each other anymore so we have lost the art of listening to the way people say something. We are so over opinionated that we lose the fact that they have ideas & views also. Just because you don't agree with me doesn't make me wrong - but it also doesn't make you wrong either.
It has come to a point that I keep my views & opinions to myself to keep from 'offending' other people. It's not 'why are we afraid of offending someone' it's when did we become a generation of fear? When did we become scared to share our thoughts in fear of being kicked down and tossed aside? When did conversations become a one sided version .. If I don't agree with you on a topic we are going to argue. That's how our generations & generations below us have become. We can't take 'advice' from someone older because they are judging us & after all 'what do they know?' We are so determined to have an opinion and make everyone around us see only our view that we don't listen to others. Then when we don't agree we bash them on social media again looking for others to agree with us. When they don't do that we attack them. Fact. Take five people & share your point of view on any topic.. those five people may see your point but they aren't going to 100% agree with your point. They will inject their beliefs & their views into that same topic. Creating a spiderweb of views and points to the same topic while still agreeing to your underlining topic. Make sense?
Religion. Everybody has their own beliefs and views on religion. We all could read the same scripture or passage and we all would take & interpret different things from the same scripture or passage.  Does that make us all wrong? Or does that make us all individuals?
I look at what our society is becoming. I fear that my son wont be able to have his own thoughts and beliefs. I fear that his individual beliefs will put him in danger one day. I fear that one day he wont be able to stand up & share his side of a story because he'll be bullied later. Bullied by whispers, by social media, by other people who will pick out all his indifference's in hopes that it lessens his credibility.
You can't say that it wont happen because in my opinion it already is happening. I don't have the answers. I don't have the magic solution to make it stop or how to reverse what it already in play. I think by bringing the situation to light may help others be more aware of how they respond to others. So I challenge you to stop and really take the time to read other comments on a page or picture. Take a moment to see how our society already responds to one another. Look at the way you respond to others when you have a difference in opinion. It's all I ask. Maybe the awareness will shed some light into the negative responses & we will start lifting each other up more. Maybe one day my son will be able to ask a question to a support group & get positive responses. Maybe one day he'll be able to talk about real issues that don't involve the Kardashians or the newest reality TV show with out being put down. Maybe one day he can ask for help & not be told that he is a loser for not knowing the answer.
I just think it's sad that we can't ask for help from people without being bullied - even as an adult.



Monday, August 17, 2015

hodge-podge


I can't believe my son is five weeks old - every week I get more and more shocked by how fast the weeks fly by. I love how he is starting to be awake longer throughout the day. The things that make this kid laugh are hysterical. The other day I was getting ready to go somewhere and he started to cry. I was putting on my makeup so I took my blush brush and brushed it over his nose.. he started smiling! I did it again and we got what sounded like a giggle & every time we do it we get the same response. I have learned that things pertaining to his face make him laugh - the rest of the body he seems very cautious. It might be the fact that he can't see and he's sense of touch is new. It is really neat to watch this little person develop before your eyes. This Mom gig is pretty awesome. I think it's pretty funny how I stressed over getting the nursery done & he doesn't even sleep in there. I wish I had splurged on house cleaning help because the house chores are driving me bonkers. I'm torn between just holding "baby boy" all day or putting him down to get stuff done. The hubby has been a huge help & takes care of feedings and stuff during the afternoon - so he can get his baby fix. That helps me accomplish small tasks but again I just want to sit and stare at "baby boy".

This is crazy cool - IMO. Grizzly has been gone for two months now & I miss him more and more. I knew I'd be crazy heartbroken when I lost him, but this amount of pain is unreal. I thought it would diminish after we had 'baby boy' but that hasn't seemed to happen yet either. I decided that I didn't want to have another Pomeranian again. My hubby wouldn't hear of it he said I have four things that define me: Dierks Bentley, Pomeranian's, Starbucks & Victoria Secret. (haha).
The hubby talked me into e-mailing the lady I bought Grizzly from since we have kept in touch all these years. I finally sent her a e-mail explaining our loss and what was wrong with him. She sent me pictures of him as a puppy before we got him (before 6 weeks) and pictures of his Mom. Then she told me that his sister (from another litter but from the same parents) is having her last litter of puppies this December. Laura went on to say then she(Laura) isn't going to be breeding anymore after this litter. So basically if I wanted a puppy from her it would be the last of Grizzly's blood line (from her) that I'd be able to have. The thought of getting another Pomeranian is ok.. I love them but the thought of getting another Pom that is from Grizzly's blood line - makes me teary eyed. So since she is in the south & I'm in CA I was curious on how we would even get the puppy. Low and behold her nephew lives 30 minutes away from us & they were just here two months ago visiting! He is planning on visiting her from Christmas and has agreed to bring the puppy back with him.
I took this as a sign that this was meant to be just because to many things aligned. So the plan is that we are getting a pom puppy in Dec/Jan - a direct decedent of my very best friend. It makes me cry every time I write or say that. I mean it's super special & I feel like it's a great way to honor Grizzly. I wish I could purchase more then one puppy since it will be the last of the line.. but one is better then nothing.






Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Write or Die Wednesday - Breakfast


Another Wednesday has come & I'm joining up for the bi-weekly link up created by:


Write or Die Wednesdays


This week's bi-weekly topic is:


Growing up breakfast wasn't a huge institution in our home - dinner was. While we had a wide range of cereals - hot and cold, muffins, and fruits; it wasn't a huge sit down meal. We just picked what we wanted on our way out the door to either school or work. There was always a pot of coffee available but nothing I ever indulged in while at home.
Now as an adult with a house hold of my own.. breakfast still isn't a huge institution. Like the household I grew up in, I provide various hot & cold cereals, fruits and coffee. Back when our house was full of roommates, I thought that breakfast was super important. I wanted breakfast to be that meal where we all set down and had a moment together. I would get up every Sunday and fix a huge breakfast. Pancakes, bacon, & eggs. Waffles. Sausage, biscuits and gravy. I went all out. Everybody slowly left our house and the breakfast morning stopped. My husband like to hint towards weekend breakfast ever so often & I get the hint by creating a smaller version for the two of us.
I think my two favorite types of breakfast is either a Caramel Machiato with a blueberry scone from Starbucks or a Smoothie from Jamba Juice. I'm not a huge wake up and eat breakfast kinda girl. I love my coffee but I can live without all the extras. More or less because I'm not a morning person, I don't want to wake up and cook & then I have to clean up after everyone has eaten. I'd rather get up and throw some clothes on for a drive thru.
My all time favorite place to eat is IHOP now, it used to be Waffle House when I lived in Oklahoma. Man I loved Waffle House! I could get a huge waffle, some eggs and a side of grits! (yep I'm from the South & we like our grits!) Man those were the best breakfast mornings.. hands down! I also have missed going to a Crackle Barrel on Sunday's (again when I lived in Oklahoma). 
So while I don't go all out for breakfast majority of the time, our house guests would tell you differently. I always make a huge spread if we have a house guest. My specialty meals are more in the evenings. I know breakfast is super important for you but again I'd just rather have a coffee or a smoothie to start my day. Better yet - pay for someone else to make it for me. 

How do you like your breakfast? What is your favorite morning meal?





Thursday, August 6, 2015

Almost four weeks.

I can't believe how fast the time is flying by. I'm just in shock that 'baby boy' will be four weeks - 1 month - in just a short couple of days!
So far we are doing great. This is my first night awake past 9pm since we have gotten home. He is just an angel. He is a great sleeper, a love to snuggle and coo at us in the evenings. I mean I absolutely have no complaints with this kid. None. This is way easier then I thought it was going to be.. he just eats, sleeps and poops. He's gotten on a great schedule that he doesn't falter from - which is amazing. I, amazingly, have no complaints... at all.

I watched this video post on facebook a while back on the things parents swore they'd never do or their kids would never do.. and I have to laugh. I'm that parent.. so far. I swore I'd never take my kid out of the house before the age of six weeks - just in case they'd catch a cold or something. This kid has been to both Dad's work places, grocery shopping, the NEX, the Dr's office, Target, Wal-Mart, the Clothing NEX, out to eat, and to get his pictures done. Seriously. In all fairness though (before people start judging me) Our pediatrician suggested that we take him out and get his body immuned to various things while he is young. Exposing him to different places helps build up his immune system and will 'possibly' help him stay healthy.

I also said I'd never be that parent to just let your kids cry it out - umm yea failed that one too. 'Baby boy' went a week straight of crying for a three hour block.. drove us nuts! At moments you just have to walk away and get your head on straight but there is nothing worse then hearing a baby cry that you cant' seem to console. We got a swing and he loves it and the crying stopped. Who knew!

The hubby is already back to work and 'baby boy' and I have managed a full week on our own. Again, I feel that we have managed pretty well. So far we have built a great schedule & everything is running pretty smoothly. Oh also JcPenny's has this great military package for their portraits! Basically all you pay is $3.99 per sheet of the pictures that you want. We got some incredibly cute pictures and spent less then $60!! So if you can.. check it out! {not a paid advertisement just sharing the savings}

Lastly.. Luke Bryan's new albums "Kill The Lights" 'drops' today.. if you didn't pre-order his album then you should check out the tracks! He has some amazing new songs on this album that I'm super in love with already! {Yes, I pre-ordered the album} I'm in L.O.V.E with "Strip It Down".. that is one sexy song. {not a paid advertisement just sharing some jams}

Anyway hope everyone has a great weekend & gets out in the sun away from electronics. I also hope that you join me next Wednesday for "Write or Die Wednesday" link up!!