Saturday, December 31, 2016

Day 3

Happy New Year's Eve!
I'm sorry that I haven't written in a while but things got super busy towards the holiday.
Our Christmas went great! The husband came in and we had a great little short week together.

Monday we took little man to this awesome place called "Funbelievable". We go on Monday's because they have a "hero day" and we get in for $5. I love that now he can have a memory with Dad being present because he loves this place.

They have this huge ball pit that I want to copy in our backyard because he loves it so much. They also have these plastic ball pits that you can sit in - which I copied at home already.
Anyway we had a lot of tun and I'm glad that Dad came with us and they both had a ton of fun together. It was also nice to sit back and watch him run around instead of chasing him everywhere.

After we left "Funbelieveable" we came home and put the nursery furniture together. I love how the room just came together and though it's still a work in progress, it feels more like a nursery now.
 All of the decals are on the wall now, and the curtains are almost ready. I bought the wrong size so I had to send those back for a bigger size. The room is as complete as it's going to get. I share a picture in a different post about the nursery.

On Tuesday we got to see the baby during the 20 week anatomy scan. I was super excited that my husband got to see the baby, It's his second ultrasound .. the first was at 9 weeks.. so this was a huge deal for me that he was there.

The baby is happy & healthy. He is growing exactly the way he should be and it was confirmed that he is in fact a BOY. Which was a great thing considering his room & all that have already been purchased. I think I'd cry my eyes out if I had to redo it all for a girl.

Wednesday we stayed home and just enjoyed having each other home. I finally started baking some cookies for the holiday but it's hard to get motivated when you are so tired dall the time. I didn't really care about the sweets this year.

Thursday we met a friend for lunch at Dave n Busters and then we met another group of friends for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was a fun packed day for sure!!

Friday we got family pictures done. We haven't really had any family photo's done since little man was born so we were very overdue. A friend of mine is a photographer and we usually get our pictures done through her since she does such an amazing job. I also got some maternity pictures done since I didn't have any done with thomas & I'm far enough along to really show now. This picture is my favorite of all of them. What a cute little family we are huh? lol

I started a Turkey brine on Friday, Saturday we prepped for the remainder of Christmas day and Christmas Day we had some friends over to celebrate with that included a huge dinner. I was exhausted but I was thankful to be surrounded by friends who have become family.

On the 26th we got up and went about an hour away to a mountain that was covered in snow!!! Yes snow!!! That close to us too!!! We had a blast, I had a blast, I have missed the cold and the snow and I was like a kid in a candy store! We just had the most incredible time.

I haven't been around snow since 2009 and it was an easy way to show my husband how much I miss the colder weather. Plus it was also nice to get an idea of what my husband lives with in Maine. He said before they left it was -2 with a windshield -17. That's insanely cold.

After the snow we went around to have lunch and ended up at our outlet/casino area. We got a fancy pizza, that wasn't that good, and our friends had mexican food. We headed home after that.

Tuesday my husband got me a 1 1/2 hour prenatal massage - which I dearly needed. Then after that we had a friend come watch little man so that we could go on a date. The same friend gave us a dinner gift card and movie tickets. So we went to go see "Passanger" which was really good. It was bitter sweet but I thought it was funny that the last movie I saw in theater also had Chris Pratt in it. After our movie date we ended up back home to start laundry so we could start packing him for his plane ride the next day.

Wednesday we took my husband to the airport and he left.  So now we start our count down all over again, and this time I thought we'd start with the days going up since it's more OPSEC approved. Oh and before I forget.. I didn't tell you what I got for my main Christmas present.. ready??

We got another puppy!!! I drove past a guy who was selling puppies & they happen to be Pomeranian pups. Well he's a pom/min american husky mix. The guy had tried to sell them for weeks and decided to try over by our flea market.. he only wanted $100 so I grabbed the only male they had left. I named him Jackson "Jack Jack" and he is prefect. He has really just fit right in and has helped calm Bella down SO very much! She needed a play mate to get all that energy out I guess because she is like a different dog now.

He is now 11 weeks old, almost 12 weeks. I got him at 9 weeks.

Best Christmas present ever! 
(aside from the husband coming home) 
(Jackson up front and Bella back behind).

Alright i'm all caught up on events for the week of Christmas. Today is New Years Eve and I have a huge post for resolution(ish) things... so I hope to get that posted either later tonight or sometime tomorrow.

I hope everyone has a very safe New Years! May 2017 fill you & yours will many blessings, health and prosperity.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

14 days

In case you have been keeping up.. my husband is coming home for Christmas so we are going to nix the countdown & start over once he leaves again. I get nine full days before he is gone again & this time it's like apx 6-8 months!!

So I also found out that we are having friends coming to San Diego that same week. Actually a couple of days before. So I finished all my gifts, wrapped everything, and was thinking about how huge Christmas is going to be! I'm super excited. I mean I'm exhausted just thinking about all the work I'll have to do by myself to pull this all off BUT it will be worth it .

I literally hate the fake Christmas light thing.. it looks so stupid and in no way looks like lights on a house. Are we really getting that lazy that Christmas lights are replaced by a weird light bulb? I honestly didn't think I'd see anyone using it.. but my neighbor has it and it looks horrible. I'm a Christmas light snob I guess but i think we are trading so many traditions for easy and convenient. I hate it.

So I made my list for Christmas dinner. I guess I gotta start putting it all together to make up a list. I bought myself a 32' TV for the master bedroom. That's huge because I never wanted one in the bedroom before.  I just felt like it's time.. I actually went shopping for one this weekend. I chose the wrong weekend to TV shop but hey..

So that's all I got.I have a lot to accomplish in the next 13 days and I'm excited. I'm just excited to have the hubby home for a couple of days. I'm really looking forward to getting some time off while the hubby is home. We have a lot to do while he's here so the extra help is kind of perfect! I'm also super happy that the hubby gets to help put the babies room together. The baby bed and dresser should arrive in the next couple days and I promised to wait on him to put the decals up on the wall.

That's all I got. I hope everyone is having a great week.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Day 195

A couple of days ago someone posted on facebook about discipline. The post was about a child who is two months (give or take) younger than Little Man. It got me started thinking about 'discipline'. I started wondering how you potty train a child when you don't trust them in a bathroom by there self. My son tries to climb in the tub or play in the big potty every chance he gets.

Let's get real.. I don't get to potty by myself - so he follows me in everyday, all day, and we talk about potty procedures. He tries to get in the cabinet, plays with the toilet paper, and then tries to climb in the tub. I try really hard to give him direction but I honestly don't understand how to allow my child to go in and out of a bathroom by himself. My second point is he doesn't talk. I mean he babbles. He says Momma, Dadda, "ella", dog.. so I guess I need to add potty to the vocabulary list. Another option is to start saying "poo" or "pee" at every diaper change.. which is semi vulgar but important.

According to the "you start potty training between the ages of 18-3yrs old. Boys tend to be a little later then girls but most people start training between two and three." I wanted to start Little Man right after Christmas because I feel like he can accomplish this huge milestone. I have already found a potty chair, looking at a urinal with a target, and a travel potty chair.

Holy cow - I started this post with a completely different intention all the way around. I was starting it off to say that people feel the urge to discipline kids so early and don't take a moment to realize that they don't suddenly understand.. and by people.. I mean my own husband. He believes that the most important word to a child is the word "no" and I strongly disagree. You have to understand the way a child works and know you child. You can't completely know your child at the mere age of 17 months because they don't even know themselves. They are still so curious and they don't understand cause & effect. My husband wanted to know what cause & effect had to do with discipline. {insert eye roll}. I'm in no means a professional but I have been around kids long enough to know that around the age or 2-3 they start to understand the whole cause and effect. I found this great article about discipline and that really explains what I believe as well. 

Anyway now I have taken up a lot of time and space to babble about potty training and scratch the surface on the intended post "discipline". It is almost midnight and I need to get bed.. 7:30 comes around quickly. I'd love to hear any potty training tips and when you started with your kiddo's. I'm eager to get one out of diapers before the other is born.. two in diapers is expensive!! lol

Friday, December 2, 2016

Day 196

Today went by so quickly!
I had all of these plans for today and then it all just seemed to slip by. I always have a list of items that need to be cleaned and a longer list of to gets. I feel like the more I try to be ahead the more I fall behind and I have a lot on my plate right now. I will find that balance, just in time to have a new baby, but I will find that balance.
I constantly stress that the house isn't clean enough - and lord I could take pictures right now to prove my point. I don't feel like I make healthy meal choices for Little Man & I - but the very thought of cooking makes me sick. So we eat out alot & I know that isn't healthy. It's going to be really hard for him to understand that all of that stops in a couple of months. I can think of a million things that I need to get down right now & I don't ever seem to even scratch the surface.
I give myself a lot of slack because I am a single parents but I know that other military wives live this life just like I do. I just didn't realize how lonely, how tough and how mentally exhausting it would be.  There are days that I crave just to ride to the nearest 7-11 by myself, to drive through Starbucks without a back seat driver and for once wake up without hearing a kid cry as my alarm. At the same time five minutes without Little man & I wouldn't know what to do with myself. 
I'm not perfect, I don't have it all together but I'm trying. I want to go to bed at night and feel accomplished. To know that my kids & my fur babies have everything that they need. I want to know that when I wake up in the morning that our day will be filled with adventure and, well, fun. I don't want to meal plan, scrub toilets or dishes all day. I can't vacuum all day everyday and make my son giggle at the same time.  It's a hard balance trying to juggle it all & still feel empty at the end of the day BUT it is a balance.
I wish I had all the answers, all the time, a spotless house, a life that is completely worry free and full carefree day to spend with my son. I'm blessed beyond words but there are days that I feel less than. I am just having more less than days then I am not. At the end of the day I have to remind myself not to worry about all the small insignificant stuff. Life is a hard balance.. but I'm balancing the best I know how. 


Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Day 199

WOW - we are in the 100's now! I'm sure that the numbers are inaccurate and there will be a extension (because there is always a extension). I hope everyone was able to take advantage of the great bargains that were about this weekend! I for one found a great deal for Little Man at ToysRus and he ended up with another item. I swear I was done shopping for him in October but somehow I just keep slowly adding.  So I found this 2 n 1 Activity table that was one side has a smooth surface and the other has a LEGO side. It comes with two chairs and was on sale for $29.99 but originally $49.99. The husband and I thought it was a great deal so I went to the store and picked it up Monday. The only cyber thing I bought Monday was undies from Victoria's Secret massive sale. 10 pairs for $37.50! Totally overstocked but that's ok.

Over the weekend little man got his Christmas photo's done. I decided to skip the mall scene and find a independent photographer, who happens to be a friend, who was having a Santa present. I got a couple of previews today and they are amazing!! She takes the most amazing pictures of little man! Too bad I already got our Christmas cards done because both of these could have been easy picks! {Side note: I used shutterfly for our Christmas cards this year & used a coupon for 50% off.. couldn't beat it! We will also be revealing baby #2's name in the cards.. so I'm excited to get those mailed out!}
Back to Little Man:

I mean he is adorable!! I love the pictures, I love the fact that she used his own stocking and I love that Santa is reading him a Dr Suess story. My friend does a great job in capturing his personality too. I love that she's really laid back and just lets him do his thing with the props that she provides. The only thing I would change is having the year somewhere in the picture. The mall Santa has the year printed on their pictures but that's small potatoes.

Gosh, he is growing up so fast! In a short couple of weeks we will start potty training.. seriously.. where is the time going?? He was just a 'wittle' baby a couple of days ago. 
Speaking of babies.. little bro had a visit Monday. His heartbeat was 150, I have gained 2 whole pounds in 17 weeks (which i'm worried about but the Dr didn't say anything). I have my glucose test this Saturday (I gotta take mine early since I had the whole preg Diabetes thing with Little man). We have our anatomy scan on Dec 21st, which Dad will be here for (so excited about that!) and we don't go back until Jan 5th!
I started on his nursery & I'm super excited on how awesome everything is turning out. The room is completely painted (as seen to the right) I bought the bedding over the weekend during all the super sales because it was all on sale. Most of the bedding has already arrived and I'll post a picture once it all is here. The instructions for the decals says I need to wait 30 whole days for the paint to dry before applying them.. crazy sauce. I wish I had known that because I am dying to put everything all together.. well what I can anyway.
So as soon as the paint is dry I get to recreate the whole 'transportation' decals all over again. {I have to admit that I even bought more decals because I didn't have enough cars}((my husband is going to kill me.. shhhh). I bought the dump truck set separately because it came with his name & I had the intention of creating a whole durt scene. So I went back and bought more cars and a couple more airplanes and a couple more tree's. I only got one tree so I needed a couple more, Oh and I bought more gray roads.. I just didn't have enough. The cars actually lay on the gray road so the cars will be placed differently than shown. It's going to be fun putting all of this together.
I knew I couldn't compete with Little man's Dr Suess theme but this is just as fun! I love the bold primary colors, I love that he can grow into this theme and I don't have to change it as he gets older because it's babyish. Oh, and that green.. is the exact same green we used for little man's room & I think that's pretty awesome!! So I'm very happy with all the things coming together.

With all being said.. we are in a good place right now. The baby is growing and everything seems good. Little man is thriving and growing; which is a blast to watch. I beat myself up a lot because my house is not clean enough, or I feel like Little man should be doing more..I know I have some area's that I need to work on but overall I think we are good.  There is a imaginary pressure to keep up or to out do other parents and kids - but I try really hard to just let it flow. I do think I have been really relaxed on boundaries but I also feel he's too young to really understand what a boundary is. So.. I really teeter totter on a things like that. However boundaries are going to really come into play with potty training after Christmas. It's hard being a single, pregnant, parent. I'm tired all the time but I keep going for little man. I do take naps instead of mopping or vacuuming. I do need to exercise more, which will be great for the both of us. SO I can admit that improvements could be made but I'm really happy at where we are at the moment.

Ok that's all for nights, it's almost midnight. I gotta get some sleep. Have a great day & I'd love to hear what deals you go over the weekend.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Day 201

I can't believe we just went through Thanksgiving! Can you? I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving holiday & that we are all geared up for Christmas. I just honestly can't believe that we are going to be saying goodbye to 2016 in a few short weeks!! Weeks!

I have finally started the decor process of the babies room. We are going with a Transportation theme. I bought a couple of decals off of Etsy & they have arrived already. I went and bought the paint colors and I even ordered the bedding. I am so excited and ready to start putting this room together! I really need to figure out how to add depth and details to my wall. I am no artist but I'll figure it out.

I have reached week 17 in my pregnancy and I'm tired. I don't feel I eat adequately enough & strangely enough I'm rarely hungry. I don't really crave anything and that freaks me out. I'm thankful that I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow because I'm mildly worried about this. We can only eat frozen pizza, salads, and pasta enough. Ok, we aren't that bad.. I just remember specifically craving certain foods at this point with Little Man. I can get a Jamba Juice smoothie everyday and be prefectly content. I can eat some popcorn everyday and be content and lord knows I love a good salad - but I did before my pregnancy. I seriously have to stop and make sure I have eaten that day because I'm never really hungry.. isn't that odd? I also am lacking on the H2O consumption and I gotta really work on that. I try really hard to drink the required amount of water.. honestly I do. Then along comes a distraction like Milk (lord I can't get enough milk), Sprite (I love sprite while pregnant) and Root beer (it's caffeine free).

I'm probably just worrying for nothing. I'm sure everything is fine. I'm really stressed with completing this room, with the husband coming home for Christmas (only for a week) and getting ready for Christmas while chasing a 16 month old.. while 17 weeks pregnant. Feel sorry for me yet? lol well please don't. I need to work on the declutter factor of my house too. I have a lot to complete and accomplish. Maybe I have too many irons on and that's why I feel so overwhelmed. Plus it's all me. It's just me and that in it's self can be very stressful.

Well I'm off to bed early tonight. I am planning on painting part of the babies room tomorrow evening after little man goes to bed. I also have to finish prepping and have to go to a Dr's appointment in the afternoon. Wish me luck!

Hope everyone is doing good! I'd love to hear from you - so please don't be shy and leave a comment.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Day 206.

I'm happy to say that the dates on the blog are wrong because the husband got approved for Christmas leave!! So we have a little over  27 days!!! Merry Christmas to us! I'm really excited because I didn't think they'd let them come home! 

I also had mentioned that we found out gender of the baby & yesterday I announced gender to the social media world. I am very happy to say that....
I was really shocked because I thought we were having a girl. I was wrong and I'm super excited it's another boy. With that being said I'll announce his name here first since I shared gender on instagram & instagram. The name we have chosen is: 
Michael Christopher. 

As far as news: 
My birthday was yesterday & I turned 25 again - lol. 
My brother was in port here for a week & I was very happy to get to spend time with another adult.
I already put up my Christmas tree & lights on the house. (When you have help you utilize it)
I've decided that I don't care that my floors don't sparkle like they used too because I'm just too tired to really care. I have put together a list of things to complete for the day & if they don't get done - we'll that's ok. My OCD really freaks out every once in awhile but I'm only one person. One person who is taking care of a 16 month old and currently creating another. My support system is on social media not IRL so I do what I can with what I can. 

Well that's all I really have well today. I know I haven't really posted a whole lot but I can only do what I can do! I am excited to get some Christmas cards done though. I gotta get those ordered here pretty soon. I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving holiday! 

Monday, November 14, 2016

Day 214

It is harder to write a post everyday when you aren't really doing anything exciting - lol.
I'm writing during nap time because the evening writing sessions get harder and harder to do.

Last Monday we went to a fun inside play area called "Funbelievable" & little man had the best time. So we are going again today as soon as he wakes up from his morning nap. They have a "hero" monday special - so all firefigher, officer and military families get in for $5. It helps him burn off energy, play with other kids & I'm all for that. You can only spend enough time at home.. ya know?
My plan is to put this on the calendar for Monday's so he can go and play. The social skills are so important & getting out of the house is too. Bonus is they have a snack bar (with a working kitchen) and they have a ton of couches for the parents to just sit back and let the kids play. Little man still needs to be watched really closely, obviously, but it's nice that I can sit on the couch and watch him in the ball room or while he's in the infant area (as pictured).
I really like this place - a lot!
So this weekend we went to a birthday party - It was so much fun! There was about 8 or 9 boys running around. There was a set of twins that were a couple of months older than little man - oh man they hit it off right away! One of the twins, S, was really interested in playing with little man. Halfway through they put down these pillow mats (you know the ones from pinterest with the pillows in the sewn together pillow cases) and let the boys be boys. It was adorable! Since little man doesn't have a older sibling to rough house with, he got taken down quite a bit. He laughed the whole time & he just had a great time! 

It was great to see him, again, acting like a kid. He needs to be around kids his age so he can learn. I really want to get to know the twins Mom so we can have bi-weekly play dates. I think it is so important for little man esp now that he'll be a big brother.

We have also started instituting outside play time. I bought him a jungle gym for his birthday that we haven't really played with. I got that out the other day and set up a little water area too. He wasn't interested in the jungle gym or the water area - he just was so happy to be bouncing his bouncy balls around! He kicked the ball then would chase after it. He had a great time for a little while & then got tired of being outside. It just made me realize that he's at that age where I need to start really creating activities for him to do. I have a board on pinterest just for this but we haven't really done a whole bunch of them. It's hard to not think of him as a baby still but he's not. He's almost 18 months old... he'll be two before I know it. So I've got to start really paying attention to his developmental surroundings and allowing him to really get creative and learn to play. Our Y has a Mommy & Me time on Tuesdays - we used to attend it all the time! He was just too young for the class but now I think we can start back and really get involved.

Being a parent is a lot harder than it seems. These kids are constantly growing and it's so important for them to soak up as much as they can when they are little. They learn so much from newborn to five - it's important that he gets involved and starts really learning how to play and interact with other kids. Being a single parent right now - a single pregnant parents - i'm not always on top of it but I know for him it's important so I'll make the time and put in the effort. Well I'm going to try and get a nap in while he naps. Gotta get my energy up so I can really do these things I was just talking about.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Day 218

I have more to add from yesterday's post but I'm going to try and give it a rest. God knows I'm sure we are all really tired of hearing so much about the election & how we have the wrong president - elect. I can't roll my eyes enough - speaking of rolling eyes; they need to add that to the emoji's on facebook. I swear I could have used the eye rolling emoji instead of a heart or laughing or angry face.

So little man has decided that he'll take a morning nap but he wont take a afternoon nap anymore. That is killing me! By 2:30 my body is done and i need a nap. I know the 2nd trimester you are supposed to have more energy but dude I need to get a nap too. SO I guess I'm going to have to change nap time to the mid mornings (11:3-1) instead of trying to make it until 3. I know, life is difficult.. lol

Nothing else much to report. I'm constantly on the go. cleaning, cooking, picking up essentials, trying to create fun things for little man. I'm concerned that at all most 16 months he isn't really talking much. So we are working on names, like the dogs names. He does a really good job at recognizing animals but not saying their names or the sounds they make. I'm sure it's a little early but I guess it's better to stay on top of it then worry when we are behind it.

I gotta a couple of big items to remove from the babies room. So I'm going to get a crew together, or try, so that I can get started painting this room in before the first of December.

Well my battery is going to die so I'm out for today. I hope everyone has had a great week.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Day 219

Man it took forever to receive this laptop charger!! I'm so glad that it's back & I couldn't have arrived on a better day - IMO.

I'd like to catch you up on the 8 days that we missed. To be honest you really didn't miss that much, my life isn't that exciting. Little man & I both got haircuts - I even had a friend come watch little man so I could relax and take some time off. It was very weird to not have my little guy with me but really needed time away!! The following Saturday, the 5th, I asked another friend to watch little man so I could attend a 'girls night out'. I went out with a group of ladies that I met during chief season & we had a great time!! Again, it was time off that I really needed. On Monday I had a ultrasound for baby #2 out in town so we could find out gender. but I will share a ultrasound picture with you all.

I am not going to share gender with you today - you'll just have to wait until for the reveal. So that pretty much catches us up on all the things I haven't blogged about in the last couple of days.

So before I go I wanted to try and lightly touch on the election. I know, I know. We are all so tired of talking, reading and hearing about it.. but I have couple of things to say. First off - I wasn't able to vote because the county in Texas I was registered to vote in didn't add me to the mail in ballet list. By the time I called it was after the registration deadline; so unless I was taking a roadtrip to vote.. it wasn't happening. I was livid. I have followed this whole process from the beginning and I was very devastated that my vote wouldn't count. So before you call me yelling about our elected 45th president .. please remember that I didn't have a chance to vote.

I was all aboard the "Make America great again" slogan because: 

We do need change.
I want my kids to be able to play outside, ride their bikes in the neighborhood & not be scared.
I want my kids to try out for a play or a sport and not just get the part.
I want them to feel the pride of winning or the determination of failure.
I want my kids to learn the way they need to not be put in a certain box and expected to perform like everyone else.
I don't want them to learn to a test that determines where they rank but what will help them learn more.
I'd like children to learn to respect all walks of life, all races, all genders, and especially their elders. Our kids don't really learn that anymore & it starts at home but continues to grow in school.
I don't want to pressure my kids to go to college (it will be encouraged) especially if they aren't good in school - so the thought of having a trade school to follow back on would be great! I mean let's face it we aren't all great in school & most families can't afford college even though it's required.  
I don't want to be scared to go somewhere with my kids. Sadly that happens a lot because you never know how people are going to respond. That's so scary.
I want to take the sex and the inappropriate stuff off of TV, or at least make it all after 7pm. We can't teach our kids to respect other genders if we aren't respecting it because they learn through us.

With that - you don't know what people will say to your kids (or to you in front of your kids) - it's like we don't have filters anymore. Sadly we have come so far from the basic manners & respect that it's infuriating. I don't want my kids to be social piranha's by being so different but you want them to have respect and manners. You want them to excel and grow individually and become the people they are meant to be.

So I don't agree 100% with the views of Trump or with Hillary but Trumps slogan really made me think. Our country needs a good wake up call but I'm not sure Trump is the one who's going to start the domino effect. That's up to us.. the people.. to bring us back to what used to be and make some upgrades to the system. It may seem far fetched but I think winning the election was far fetched to Trump when he started this too. I may not have voted for the man but he is our Commander in Chief now.. so good or bad we should stand together as a nation and support our country.

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

227 days

Thankfully - today was a hell of a lot better then yesterday.
I was really excited that Bella slept out of her crate last night and didn't tear anything up!! Of course she made up for that later by getting two pairs of VS undies & my fav sun glasses. This dog is really testing my patience & I'm getting worried it's in prep for baby #2.

I bought a "saline fetal doppler" after my last appointment & I woke up this morning excited to give it a try - again. It was a great way to start my day to be honest & I found the babies heart beat right away!   That energized my morning enough that I was able to get some basic house chores done. I thought I had a hair appointment for little man today but due to miscommunication - it's tomorrow. So we ended up going back to Target to return the purchases that I didn't actually leave with. I also had the intention in going to the San Diego Public Library but the Target trip took so long that we didn't make it.

Just so you know - if you leave paid for items at Target & come back they will make you wait while loss prevention finds the purchase on camera. Then after he confirms that you left your purchase you can either go get the exact items to take home OR they can give you a gift card for the purchase amount. They will not refund an item that didn't 'actually' leave their store even through it's been paid for. That really ticked me off - considering both items left behind were for Halloween. So after some arguing they let me trade the two items for other items for the same amount. I was really hoping for a refund considering I didn't want or need anything. So that's how that works.. just don't leave your purchases at a store - lol.

The worst part of Halloween being over is all the ghost shows that plague the channels - I love watching them & I'm really sad they are all over.  I'm eager to take down the few decorations that I have up. I'm not a huge Halloween fan so the whole dress your house up is lost on me, but I'm trying for my kids who will love it. I just want to keep cleaning and reorganizing before it's time to start Christmas decor. To be honest.. I usually go all out on Christmas but I'm tempted to not put any decorations up. I'll be 20 weeks pregnant, by myself & with a 18 month old. Chances are I'll be fighting little man with the tree & I'm not really looking forward to that. I can, however, put up all the other decorations that aren't in his reach. OR I could put the tree up, put up the lights on it (which is my favorite part) and leave it bare. hmmm.

One last quick thing - I'm really in love with the new Starbucks holiday cup! I love the idea of something new & unique! I love that they are showing a community of togetherness & I can't believe how much outrage this has caused. Are people that petty that they have to complain about a company's 'good intention' design?  I had to look up the meaning of the cups design and I was so happy to ready that it has nothing to do with this stupid election. It's like last year all over again!! So Silly. {If you haven't read the article from Starbucks then you should before place judgement - NBC}

Tomorrow we have little man's 2nd hair cut & I really should try to make it to the library to exchange those books. I'd rather find a play area for little man to go and enjoy - I'll look into that after I wrap up this post. How exciting. Hope everyone had a great 1st of Nov!

Monday, October 31, 2016

228 days

Happy Halloween! 

I had to run to the Disney store to get mickey mouse shoes. I ran into Victoria Secret and then walked out $86 poorer. I also did some good damage at Target. You are never going to believe this though - I managed to leave the main part of my purchase at Target. I hate how baggers put five items in three bags - the purchase was for my costume tonight. Good part is that they store will refund me as long as I bring the receipt in. It's the third store that I have managed to leave an item behind and it pisses me off. 

After we got home from the mall and stopping to eat lunch inside McDonald's - we went to our first therapy appointment in over a month. Little Man comes with me to every session & plays while we talk. The Dr thinks I have a touch of depression / which to me is scary. I mean I'm not really surprised - I have a lot going on right now. It's strange to keep saying that I feel so alone - even talking to my own husband is like talking to a stranger some days. I don't really feel like I have any friends & it's really hard to confide in new people that I meet. I feel like the only way I get people to hang out with me is to make a bargin. The only person I don't feel this way about my husbands says I take advantage of - crazy sauce because I simply LOVE this chica. 

It's hard to write it all down and explain it all. I mean I'm seriously not looking for pitty & i'm 100% positive that it's not hormones (even though some will blame it on that). I'm just stressed out, lonely, confused, determined, and tired. I'm determined to overcome all of this - to move forward - to rebuild the person that I want to be. Right now I just feel beaten down & it's not because of any one person or thing. I'm just tired & it's hard to find solace in solitude when you crave interactions with other people. 

That's all I got. This post got away from me but I'm glad I got to share this part of me with you guys. The last thing in the world I want to is to feel even more alone. 


Saturday, October 29, 2016

230 days

It has been a couple of days & I needed the break to regroup these posts.

My brother in came in town and was here, with me, for a day and a half. I realized that I was craving some adult interaction. Facebook & Instagram create a form of interaction but not the kind I was really wanting. The best part of our short time together was that we got out of the house and went to the zoo. It was the first time little man & I left the house that wasn't for errands - it was nice. I realized during his short stay that I didn't have a lot to say about anything that wasn't a complaint, or wrapped around a complaint.

I realized that I needed a change. I'm busy changing the house around but I'm not changing myself. Then my husband said something that really hit me - he said that while I can make a list, I'm not always good at completing the list. It's true. I fall short in a couple of areas that I need to really work on. So yes, the house organization is more of a nesting thing & I can justify the great need of completing all the things I feel I need too. I also need to work on myself.

I have been through a lot. I don't think I have really celebrated my liberation of the 'infertility monkey' that was on my back for years. I don't think I really have celebrated the upscale that my life took after meeting my husband. I also fall short of celebrating the simple things that I take for granted so often.  With that I also fall short on taking care of myself - taking time for myself, not getting so worked up on the small things and really just enjoying my life.

While my husband was telling me that he was going to 'another' movie & needed his passport so that him and a buddy could go to Canada.. I got pissed. Pissed off that I'm here with my favorite person in the whole world - every single day without a break. I'm pissed off that I can't go to a movie (the last movie I saw in theater was Jurassic park 4 June 13th, 15 .. the day Grizzly passed away), or out of dinner or even the salon unless I'm taking little man. I need a break too. He was gone for six weeks, came back 11 weeks ago & jumped into the chief stuff, then he left to meet his shipmates & is having a great time. So while I don't feel sorry for myself, I feel that I deserve a break here and there. but I have to make it happen.

So while I had to take a dose of humility to realize that I'm taking a lot of things for granted - including myself - I have to reorganize myself from the inside while I also reorganize my home. I don't want to be a bitter military wife - or wife - but I do want to make sure that I'm not being taken for granted too. It's a hard balance and something that will require a lot of work on my behalf  but  I have got to make a change.

This is what this time is for.. right?

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

233 days

I bought more shelves. Before you sigh in dispare - I already put them together & hung them. I'm super proud of myself.  The old uniforms are gone. My master bedroom is so close to being organized & I'm so close to feeling comfortable with closing this door. I know you are excited to hear that this topic is almost over.

So moving on. I got to put a box together for the husband. He keeps bugging me about getting his xbox and some shirts sent to him. The shirts have been ready for a couple of days but I'm procrastinating on the xbox. Once the xbox is gone it's like he's really gone and not coming back - I mean I feel like he moved out some days. All this clothes are gone, his bathroom stuff is gone, he's not making a mess in my kitchen anymore.. it's sad... and now I'm parting with the stupid xbox so that he can be happier.  Man that's really dramatic.

Sorry my life is boring. I bought a ton of maternity clothes that I'm super excited about. I took my first preggo picture to share and I'm huge. I wasn't skinny before but man I've got a huge bump for 12 weeks.

See? I've got a great little bump going on already and I'm not even half way there. but I love my new shirt! That's all. 

Again, my life is dull and full of cleaning lists and baby songs that play in the background all day long. I bought little man another bouncy ball & it's huge. His little face lit up and he just smiled and smiled and he tried to bounce it down the hallway. Gosh, kids are great. 

I gotta go change the laundry and go to bed. Hopefully my life gets more exciting soon otherwise these posts are going to fall flat on it's face long before we get close to the end of this countdown. 

Thanks for checking in anyway. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

234 days

Quick post because I am running later then usual. I love the show BULL but I hate how it pushed back NCIS New Orleans back a whole hour.. geesh.

So today was just as uneventful as the past couple. More cleaning and organizing. I cleaned out our closet - clothes anyway. I was able to pack up a ton of unused or unusable uniforms to donate to a local thrift shop. If a friend doesn't pick them up tomorrow, I'll take them Thursday for sure. I had a whole list of stuff to get done today but I got the basics done instead. I lost my motivation after first nap (1pm) for little man. I always say I'm going to do stuff while he sleeps & then never do because I'm scared it's going to wake him up. Then I realize cleaning bathrooms, windows, mopping.. wouldn't have woken him up at all. I got that procrastination brain.

So I was reading a 12 week update (pregnancy e-mail) and it described nesting as a 'urge to organize and clean your whole house'. I can assure you that I didn't have this with little man - not like I do with this pregnancy!! I haven't even gotten to the new babies room yet - oh lord! Although in a counter - I like this. I don't like the nagging feeling when everything doesn't get done but I do like how the house is changing and morphing. I do like the cleanliness and the organization - makes me feel a lot better since I have a little person investigating as much as he can. So I'm sure some of you are highly annoyed in my constant rants about getting stuff done or what not but now we all know it's pregnancy related and it shall pass... just bare with me.

Speaking of little man. Hysterical story. So every time I pee I semi shut the bathroom door and little man opens the door with this huge grin like he found me. So I play it up and he laughs. The the insta investigation mode kicks in; you see we keep the bathroom doors shut when we aren't using them so he doesn't harm himself in anyway. So being in the bathroom is a new world for him to explore and he is only allowed in when Mommy is potting, cleaning or he is getting a 'splishy splash'. So today he brought me the remote control into the bathroom & while I got up to pull my pants up the chunked the remote in the toilet and said 'uh..' because he hasn't got the 'uh-oh' combo .. (it's super cute btw)
So now the remote isn't working. Great. It was cute though.. gotta work on those ninja skills more I guess because he was fast. I'll be honest as much as this kid enjoys throwing stuff I see some little league in our future for sure!

Well my brother is coming a day early so all my plans shifted a little bit. All good. I'm excited.
I gotta get some sleep. Thanks for reading guys.. appreciate the support.. really!

Monday, October 24, 2016

235 days

Well I'd like to start off this post with saying - I have some amazing things to share.

I did it! I put up the shelves in my room! I know, I bet you were seriously tired of hearing about those damn shelves... right? Well I was super excited with myself. The shelfs lead to cleaning & clearing a neighborning bookcases, the top of my husbands dresser, and the top of my dresser. Needless to say I got a LOT more cleared out of the master.. just a couple more things to remove & we are post a picture of my master and be proud of it status. That's huge peeps.. HUGE.

After my cleaning binge this am I went to my first, official, OB appointment. We got to meet our OB for the first time and I was startled that it was a male. We had a full exam done, which is ackward as F  to say the least, including a pap. Scariest shit happened too - he went to use the little machine to listen to the babies heart beat & he couldn't find it. I felt the baby move because he was pressing so hard on my stomach but it freaked me out. He asked the nurse to bring in the ultrasound machine and started nervously talking to me about how & why this would happen. A few moments later our little utero baby was on the screen movin' & groovin'. I could see his/her hand waving around - touching her face. We could she her/his feet moving all about & the reason we couldn't hear the heart beat through the little microphone thing was because she/he had his/her back to us. Heartbeat was 177 and that made me happy.
I also got news that my working ban has been lifted. He said that there isn't a lot they can do about the pelvic previa except monitor it at the 20 week mark because it can shift on it's own. So he said low impact workouts - even walking a couple of miles daily - is ok. If I start spotting then I need to document the workout that I did & come in so I can have physical done. At 20 weeks they'll do a, invasive, anomaly scan and we can see if the placenta has moved at all. In the case that it hasn't they they look at the position. So kinda like a moon - we don't want a full moon. We can deal with a 'wanning' or 'waxing' crescent - so prayers please this goes away on it's own. 

After our Dr's appointment little man & I came home and took a really good long nap. After that we worked on the master a little bit, then moved to the kitchen (because god knows it's always dirty), and I tried to put up the shelf that I bought at IKEA to go over the kitchen sink. There are four screws missing so I just have to decide if I want to return it or just pick up the screws I need. Oh my first "Stichfix" box came in today! I loved everything .. really.. but it's so expensive! $68 for a maternity top.. sorry I just can't. I did, however, receive a cute pair of TOMS that I will be keeping. Also a long black/white sweater shirt; that would look great with black leggings. The other three pieces will just have to go back because $268 is a lot to swing for five items! I'm going to keep giving them a shot until Jan & I'll try to post the pictures of what I got tomorrow before I mail them back. 

I'm really pleased on how things are starting to take shape. I have a couple of bigger projects ahead before I move into tackling the nursery BUT overall tonight I feel good about my progress.  I guess three weeks was the magic number to start finding my groove. I want to say Thank you to all of you who are reading my posts - I feel alone 99% of my day but it's nice to log into blogger & see that 20 something people have read my last post. So Thank You for helping me feel not so alone. 

Sunday, October 23, 2016

236 days

Yesterday I turned 12 weeks with little utero baby & tomorrow we have our first OB ultrasound. I'm really excited!! A couple more weeks and we can find out gender!!!

Today wasn't as productive as it probably should have but we had some adventures outside the house. SO little Bella got out of the backyard, which prompted a search and rescue (thanks to the lady who called me). After picking Bella up I decided that we would start our day off with breakfast - so I went to Starbucks for me and McDonalds pancakes for little man. While in line at McDonalds the lady taking our order asked what kind of dog Bella was and then told me there was a 8 month old male pom at the pound. So after breakfast we went to the pound to check on the pom. And he was there but he wasn't good with kids or other dogs BUT he had also been adopted. So I found this little 2 month old white terrier and she was so sweet and I was smitten. She isn't adoptable until the 27th of Oct and they have two holds on her. So if we do want her we have to be first at the door on the 27th. OMG she was so adorable, and friendly, and sweet.. and I was thinking she might be good for Bella. A little play mate.. the husband thinks I'm crazy but gave me the green light if I really wanted to take on another dog.

After we left the pound, empty handed, a friend of mine came over to watch the Chargers game. She stayed for about an hour and bailed. While she was here I gave her a tour of the house and I could feel how embarrassed I was and I don't want to feel that way anymore. Believe me I have made a lot of headway so far. My master bedroom look so much better now. It's just a work in progress and I gotta keep working until I'm satisfied. I also have to keep reminding people that the husband & I rented 3 of our 4 bedrooms out for four years. A lot of our stuff got crammed into our master to make more living room for everyone else. So dejunking could also be described as reorganizing. We aren't pack rats but we have put a lot of stuff into a very small space & now it's time to filter through it all and find it a home. Here or else where. 

I've also got to look up how to clean a litter box while pregnant. I think I need a mask or something but I'm not going to scoop out litter - I'm just dumping the box each time and refilling with litter. I'm sure in the long run that's more expensive but I'm also sure that it's a hell of a lot cleaner. Tempted to just throw the stupid thing out but I do catch the cats using it every now and again. 

Anyway after my friend left little man & I ventured to Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things. I accidently bought the gel deodorant instead of the solid - and for some reason the gel doesn't work on me.. so I had to go pick up deodorant. Also this is my 2nd pregnancy with really bad dry scalp. So I bought some coconut oil to lather on my scalp this evening - because it really works for me. That's not all I bought but we didn't really buy anything super exciting either. 

Later little man & I ordered pizza and settled in to watch the new "The Walking Dead" season premier. I forgot how violent that show was.. man it's graphic. After that I need to cleanse my mind so I watched a HallMark movie I had saved on my DVR. Little man fell asleep shortly after 8pm. I decided to treat myself and give myself a facial while I used the coconut oil on my scalp. The facial was heavenly which lead to me wanting a massage. I really should try to make time for that in Nov. I'm sure I can get away with is since it's my birthday month and all. 

Well I'm gotta get off = the great dane just threw his dinner up on my bedroom carpet. I was all snuggled in for the night too. Damn. I hope everyone had a great weekend & I'd love to hear some feedback from you readers. I'd like to hear how your weekend went or what you thought of "The Walking Dead" season premier . 

Saturday, October 22, 2016

237 days

I really don't have anything to talk about.

My brother came in town for a day yesterday and we really didn't do anything fun. I spend a lot of time by myself so I was semi disappointed that we didn't really talk. Then again I don't have a lot to talk about. We set around in the house and did nothing. I got to take a nap while little man also took and nap but the cool part was that when he woke up my brother just go him up and let me sleep. I really didn't sleep because I'm trained to hear my kid even through a deep sleep. We went to a friends house for dinner. My son has a huge thing about throwing toys down their stairs (because the living area is on the second level of their townhouse). Which was fun to keep cleaning up the stairs over and over again. We left around 10pm and my brother took my husband's car to base to get on his boat. They left this am.

Today we didn't do anything either. I folded a couple of loads of laundry and watched TV.   It was glorious to not feel the pressure to have to do something. Tomorrow I invited a friend over to watcch a football game. I also need to take a trip to Wal-Mart and that's my weekend. Boring uneventful weekend. I am so thankful though that I get to really spend time with my little man. I keep reminding myself how much is going to change once the baby is born. So I gotta get all those hugs and single kisses now.

Well I'm off to shower and bed. I hope everyone reading this had a great weekend and I'd love to hear what you did this weekend by yourself or with your family! Please leave me a comment.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

239 days

Little man & I went to go pick up a beer mug that my husband had engraved for his sponsor during Chief season. We picked up some of his sponsor's favorite candy & mailed the the mug out. I wasn't thinking about my husbands X-Box so we have to go back and mail that off this weekend. Now that we know it could take a whole week for the packages to arrive, I need to make sure I get it done asap.

After we arrived home we got some great play time in - man this little man loves these bouncy balls! I'm so happy he does because we are learning so many new things! I'm so surprised on how quickly he has picked up 'bouncing' instead of just rolling it around. we got a good nap in and he woke up super cranky. I completely forgot about his teething and couldn't figure out what the problem was. I made chicken pot pies, which he normally loves, and he didn't touch it at all. We have gotten to the point where he'll only eat fruit specifically strawberries. At least it's healthy.. right? I gave him a bath, some infant tylenol and put some vicks on the bottom of his feet. I'm sure the vick's doesn't help with teething but hey.

Made a to do list and got 4 out of 6 items completed. Super proud of myself. As soon as I finish this post I'll knock out the master bath before we go to bed, just leaving a load of a laundry that needs to be done tomorrow. I'm so happy I got that kitchen floor mopped. Little man has a habit of throwing food off his tray, for Bella, when he is done eating. So those floors were pretty neglected but man I feel better to get so much accomplished. I bet you are excited too because it's annoying to keep hearing me whine about not getting stuff done.

I got a 'girls night' invite. I'm super happy about that! Now to find a sitter to see if this is even going to be possible. Super excited to just be invited! My brother will be here for a day tomorrow & I have a fun day planned for Sunday. We have a weekend getaway planned for one of the first weekends in Nov to visit a farm petting zoo. So things are looking up.

Today was a good day! How was your Thursday?


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

240 days

Ten full days - he's been gone 10 full days. Crazy to think that ten full days have passed and I still feel like it was yesterday. I have come to realize that I am really hard on myself. Here I am with a 15 month old beautiful baby boy & 11.5 days pregnant with my 2nd beautiful baby. I'm currently a single Mom with 2 dogs and 2 cats. I run a full house & I'm constantly disappointed on what I didn't accomplish instead of what I did. It's hard to change that mindset I have established but I did to do it. I'm not a superhuman - I am just human. I can accomplish what I can and I try really hard to add more and more. Today I got the floors mopped (all but the kitchen), I got a bathroom clean, I got a shower, the trash taken out, the dishwasher emptied and refilled and emptied again.. but when I list it like this it seems so little. I feel like I'm a bit on the lazy side and I also feel like I should be getting a lot more done housework wise. It's hard because little man is so interested in so many new things. He's needing three meals a day, plus naps, plus diaper changes. plus playtime. It's a hard balance but if you're a Mom  you know this language all too well. It's the most rewarding and the most rewarding 'job' anybody can have. I love watching little man learn something new, or see the light in his eyes when a song comes on he knows. Our new thing is playing with his new bouncy balls, he gets so much joy bouncing the ball and putting in the box (old diaper box). I just feel I need to do more or do better but I feel like I'm being to hard on myself.

Today I got my surprise from the husband & boy was it a surprise! Even though I figured he was sending flowers - it blew my mind. First off I have never received flowers from him before - delivery wise. He bought me a bouquet for our anniversary a while ago but this bouquet was amazing! If you follow me on social media then you have already seen the beautiful bouquet.

I was completely blown away by the two dozen roses but the bear & the dozen strawberries.. WOW that was over the top! He did a great job! I was very surprised but sad he wasn't here so I could thank him in person & he could enjoy some of the strawberries too. Hopefully he doesn't forget in my birthday (in a month) and he does a smaller bouquet without all the extra's. I'm also hoping I can keep these beautiful babies alive for a while!

That's all I have for today. I know that I'm really hard on myself and I know I need to stop doing that. The good thing is my brother will be here on Friday so I'll have a little adult interaction to hopefully help me feel 'normal' again. Motherhood is hard, deployments are hard - I just never thought about doing both at the same time. My hat goes off to all the Mom's out there who have done deployments. You are so strong! My hat goes off to all the single Mom's; I don't know how you do it but you deserve more then my words of acknowledgement. Just know you are doing the best you can & your babies know you love them.

I hope everyone had a great Wednesday & hoping you have a even better Thursday. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

241 days.

Today we got out of the house pretty early. I wanted to get as much of our errands done before Little Man's nap time so that I could join in and get stuff done around the house after he woke up. We started off at Ross where I bought some maternity shirts & a couple of baby girl outfits. I also got Little man an outfit. A fight broke out between two women in the store so I got out in a hurry - don't even know what the fight was about to be honest - all I know is my baby was in the store and I wanted out.  I ended up leaving a whole bag of clothing, that I paid for, in the store! Turns out it was all my maternity clothing too. The store agreed that I could pick it up tomorrow.  After Ross we went a couple stores down to Micheal's where we bought some finger paints, these huge pom poms (which little man loves) and four blue and white anchor ribbon spools. After Micheal's we went to Target and on the way my air pressure warning went off again, it went off yesterday and the day before also. I stopped in at a Discount Tire, had them check out the pressure and they found three nails in one tire. We ended up putting two new tires on the SUV{{total side note here. Ladies & Gents do NOT let a tire co tell you that you can only replace ONE tire are a time ESP if they are all bad and ESP if they are your back tires. Tires should ALWAYS be bought in pairs - it helps with your alignments and your axel.}} and they promised me an hour. So I took my cranky little man to target in his stroller, where he passed out on the walk there, and I got to shop basically by myself. I picked up more little girl clothes, another outfit for little man, two bouncy balls, more finger paints, looked at some double strollers, got lunch and some fabulous butter popcorn. Walked back to DT and they hadn't even started on my car - 54 min later! I was furious! They promised me an hour and it was completed closer to the end of 2. So a very tired and cranky 15 month old in a tire store that is full of quietly waiting other customers.. lord.

We made it home. Not much of anything productive happened after that. I really really need to get these floors mopped & my brother arrives on Thursday so I gotta get this house cleaned, and the guest room set up. Fun note I had a great convo with the hubby today; who was less then pleased on all the little girl clothing without knowing gender. I mean it's a whole 20 outfits that include onesies, pants, and pj's. I think we are off to a great start considering I had WAY more then this at 11 weeks for little man. Anyway I can hold off shopping for more clothes for the next months. I mean I don't want a whole bunch of long sleeved clothing anyway.

That's all I got. My 'special' gift from the hubby arrives tomorrow so hopefully we are home when it arrives!! I'll have to share with you all what it is! Well - have a great night and I have a fun surprise to announce next week to those of you who are reading my posts.

Monday, October 17, 2016

242 days

Today was a very tiring day.  I spend the morning looking through different websites for a double stroller that I want. I mean the morning just flew past and before I knew it we were ready for our 10:30 nap (well Little Man's nap time not mine). I actually did fall asleep during his morning nap today but we got up and went grocery shopping. The whole event of getting grocery's is so exhausting but the worst for me unloading the vehicle.. blech. I got everything unloaded and all the cold/frozen put away. Little man took his second nap, which the one I usually join him on, in the car so I was exhausted this evening.
We did get to talk to the husband for a 20 min block while eating dinner - that was nice! After little man went to bed I cleaned the kitchen. This morning it was all clean and put together & tonight it was like a war zone. Just how?? Seriously only two of us and you'd think we had a huge get together or something - I just don't understand.
Tomorrow I've got to mop these floors and put the remaining homeless groceries away. My goal is to also hang up the white shelves I bought for my bedroom, that I talked about yesterday. I forgot to charge the drill today. I need to make a big long to do list and start checking off all the things that need to be done. I made a chore chart on excel but I'm trying to do such a deep purge that the chore chart seems irrelevant at the moment. I also want to make it to Micheal's and Target to get some sensory play items. Little man is really into bouncy balls right now - you know the medium sized 'dodge ball' type. I also want to pick up some type of water colors and I really would like to find some type of edible saving cream foam. That made no sense. I want something like shaving cream he can play with on his high chair tray but I'd like it to be edible since he's a baby still.
The husband told me to be on the look out for a gift on Wed. Can't wait to share with you guys what it is. Hopefully it's a babysitter so I can go see a movie. Or maybe it's maid for a day. A girl can dream yea?
I hope everyone had a great Monday. Next Monday I have my first official OB appointment and I'm super excited to see the baby again. Well, anyway - goodnight and God Bless.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

244 & 243 days

Recap of day 244 {yesterday}.
We had a birthday party for a friends son who turned one. It was a sweet little party. I loved the theme and the detail they put into it. The gift that we bought hasn't arrived yet - even though it was a prime item and I paid for next day shipping ($16.99) but fedex isn't delivering it until tomorrow. Really upset about that but it's not the end of the world. After we left the birthday party, we came home for an hour before going to get food at Olive Garden b/c I was craving a salad. Little man also loves spaghetti so it was a win - win. After little man went to bed, around 8, a new friend came over to eat dinner with me and watch a movie. We didn't really watch a movie, we just set around and talked. Her fiance' is with my husband in Maine & obviously on the same ship. They guys met here in SD a couple months ago and have become fast friends so we felt it was time to get to know one another. It was a very nice evening. We ended our night around 12:30 and I was exhausted.

Today I took a slower approach to my day. I got all the laundry done in the house - hung up and put away {yay me!} and organized kitchen drawers. We have already thrown out so many things we haven't used so the utensil drawer was a to do item. Later I went to IKEA with my girlfriend K & then we went out to dinner at Souplantation (I'm really craving salads). At IKEA I bought a new rack to hang above our kitchen sink to help with the counter clutter, bought a new utensil holder (so now we have two full ones), multi colored kid dish set, a dish drying rack, and wooden cutting board. I don't shop IKEA very often but I thought I managed the buying impluse really well. Little man feel asleep on the way home but woke up as soon as I tried to change him into his pj's. I should have just left him but I knew he needed a diaper change & if you are going to do a diaper change you might as well change the clothing too. He's been up since 8 and it's now 11:30. Finally down for the night which means he'll sleep in until apx 830 tomorrow morning - which is why I went ahead and wrote this post.

the funny thing about organization & declutter is that it brings such disorganization and clutter with  it until you iron out all the little details. Much like life. When you make a big change in your personal life, things seem to get messy - harder even - but if you plow through it's usually worth it. That's how I feel about the house. I now have 4.. yes 4.. empty clothes baskets that we were full of stuff we needed to remove from the house. I have done 3 purges through the master, which lead to purchasing two shelves ( I need apx 8 total) but if you looked at my room you couldn't tell that I've worked an hour a day for a week on it. I know the end reward will be worth it but man it's so chaotic.  right now. I keep saying that my purges are from my pregnancy but my friend K said it could just be a way to deal with my husband being gone. It's the first chance for me to really put my stamp on the place without getting distracted. I can set my own pace and really focus on what I'm doing. I think she's right but I also think it's a little of both.

Well I have decided to make an appointment to have a 3D ultrasound done at 14 weeks so we can find out gender of the baby. So hopefully in three weeks the baby will cooperate and I can start really planning this nursery. Worse comes to worse we find out at 20 weeks but I'd like to know so I can start picking up clothes. The husband talked me into it really. So I have a question for you Mommy's of little girls. If we are having a girl, which is what I think we are, I'd like to purchase all her furniture in white. I want the same exact 4 n 1 crib and exact dresser that little man has but his is in dark cherry. My question is.. as she gets older .. like 13 and up.. white is a good color right? I don't know why the white screams girl to me.. maybe because it's softer. Is that a good plan or should I do the exact same color in both rooms also??  The husband is no help and just says "get what you want". I really don't plan on buying a new furniture set for either one of them.. ever.

We have made it a full week since the husband left & we've done ok. A couple more things to work on and hopefully get a new rhythm going for our day. Time management is key with a toddler. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Friday, October 14, 2016

245 days

Hopefully I can make a real quick post simply because it's already so late. Little man literally feel asleep 20 min ago and he's usually out by 8pm.
Nothing to really report for today other then I got a lot of work done on the house. I got little man's carpet's shampoo'd, the master really dejunked & thankfully my new shelving for the master came in today. My brother will be here next week so I'm going see if he has time to help me because I am horrible at screw alignment. Everything is starting to come together, I think. I really need to focus on my 'time management' because that is really hurting me. It's a constant push off system, which I loath deeply. "OH I'll wait until nap time" then nap time arrives "Well I have to be quiet so he doesn't wake up". Then once he wakes up nothing gets accomplished that I stated would during his nap time. I have a lot of self work I need to accomplish - in a good healthy way.

I'm having a inner debate about gender with baby #2. The husband talked me into not finding out gender with little man. I kind of want to have that experience again of knowing at the end. We already have names picked out and we already have a lot of left over baby stuff. I just need to really focus on a room decor and clothing. You see I had a feeling the whole pregnancy that I was having a boy & I was right . I'm pretty sure this little one is a girl but I'm apprehensive in starting to purchase clothing. This point in my pregnancy with little man I already had a whole mountain of things, we had already locked in on a theme.. I'm really slacking. So this morning I looked up the earliest you can find out gender and I'm tempted to make a 3d ultrasound appointment at 14 weeks and just KNOW the gender. If we are having a little girl I want to create this little pink butterfly oasis for her nursery and start picking out cute little dresses and leggings and headbands. Do I find out or not??

Speaking of pregnancy weeks - tomorrow I'll be 11 weeks preggo! Say what?! I feel like we just got told we were having a baby.. and now it's 11 weeks. I can't believe the first trimester is almost over! I'm so anxious to go back to my OB and hopefully get cleared of this placenta previa so I can go back to the gym! Gosh I miss the gym! I miss having a hour to myself and it makes you feel so much more centered. I got a lot more done in a day when I started my day off at the gym so hopefully this whole thing healed itself and we are back to normalish buisness.

Alright last thing.. with Christmas (my 2nd fav holiday of the year {Even though that could be debatedable by those around me}) I have no idea what to get my son for Christmas. He has everything already! I have no idea what an 18 month old could possibly ask Santa for. I got him the color crew plush crayons, a little people sail boat with a sailor, a couple of bouncy balls and a little tikes push car for his main gift. I already ordered and received his Christmas monogrammed pj's from #gentrycalifornia What else, or does he need anything else, I think he's good yea? Man Christmas is hard to do.. lost more respect for the "santa's" out there!  oh, I've got to find Stockings and a tree skirt for this year (so finding out gender before that purchase would be nice because lord knows it's so hard to find the same stocking patterns again).

Alright I'm out - we have a birthday party to attend tomorrow and then a movie date in the evening. Have a great weekend everyone & thank you for reading my posts.

Thursday, October 13, 2016

246 days

Today was a good day. I have a lot on my mind that I want to unload but we had a good day.
I met some ladies for coffee from the San Diego Chief Petty Officer Association & had a great time. It was nice to talk about our husbands, their different jobs, home life, and possibly some great fundraising opportunities. At some point I've got to branch out and make some new friends - so hopefully this is a good avenue because Lord knows I've been wrong before.
After we went for coffee, which lasted almost two full hours, we came home to relax. I had plans to get the house cleaned up more but of course that didn't happen. I've really got to buckle down and start cleaning this house. I for sure need to shampoo Little Man's room soon & that may be my for tomorrow and cinderella style clean the kitchen tile floor. Anyway I ended up talking to my brother while I put away laundry; which was great! After that I took a quick 1.5 hr nap with little man and then we went to a friends 1st birthday party. That was great! It was at this kids play zone that I have wanting to try and now that I saw how excited Little Man was there - we will be going back!

So while talking to my brother we started one of our really deep conversations. I was explaining that even though I understand my husbands job ( to a point ) and I understand why he fought to stay in San Diego. It was hard to not feel abandoned and angry. In 2015 when we were up for orders I begged my husband to pick a new place because I wanted to get the chance to travel to a different State. He fought to stay and then ended up on this precom that is being built in Maine. So now he is in Maine for the next handful of months while the ship is being built and I'm alone here in San Diego. So who really got what they wanted? It's hard to not feel angry, to not feel jaded, to not feel like he 'chose' to leave us - because he did. I also feel that with all the security stuff I don't really understand my husbands job. It's hard to not take that they goof around in a office all day and half ass work. It's also hard to understand the difficulty of a deployment when all they share are 'good ole time stories' from ports they've visited. So I do understand when a military wife gets upset that their husband is leaving to go 'party' for 8 months while we stay behind and run a household with no breaks. It's hard.
I also think because I have such a weak support system, or feel like I do, it's harder. I have prayed and prayed for a new group of friends. Then I started going to this Thursday church book club thing and then realized that those ladies weren't invested in me at all. I wanted to be missed or checked on and that hasn't happened. That made me very dishearted. Plus I've been going for three months and haven't made any head way with meeting any one person or building a kid playdate. Actually all the kiddo's had 1st birthday parties after little man and we weren't invited to one of them. That really really hurt my feelings. I also told them I'd be gone for two weeks because of the husband leaving and not one person has checked on us. Which again is really heartbreaking because I was really hoping I had found a great group. I'm going to conitnue to pray for good friends because we are really going to need some support these next 8-9 months.

Well Like I said i needed to unload. We don't have any plans for tomorrow and I'm praying I can get some deep cleaning done. Saturday we have another birthday party to attend but I've got to get on top of this deep house cleaning.. how many times can I say that in a post??