Wednesday, October 19, 2016

240 days

Ten full days - he's been gone 10 full days. Crazy to think that ten full days have passed and I still feel like it was yesterday. I have come to realize that I am really hard on myself. Here I am with a 15 month old beautiful baby boy & 11.5 days pregnant with my 2nd beautiful baby. I'm currently a single Mom with 2 dogs and 2 cats. I run a full house & I'm constantly disappointed on what I didn't accomplish instead of what I did. It's hard to change that mindset I have established but I did to do it. I'm not a superhuman - I am just human. I can accomplish what I can and I try really hard to add more and more. Today I got the floors mopped (all but the kitchen), I got a bathroom clean, I got a shower, the trash taken out, the dishwasher emptied and refilled and emptied again.. but when I list it like this it seems so little. I feel like I'm a bit on the lazy side and I also feel like I should be getting a lot more done housework wise. It's hard because little man is so interested in so many new things. He's needing three meals a day, plus naps, plus diaper changes. plus playtime. It's a hard balance but if you're a Mom  you know this language all too well. It's the most rewarding and the most rewarding 'job' anybody can have. I love watching little man learn something new, or see the light in his eyes when a song comes on he knows. Our new thing is playing with his new bouncy balls, he gets so much joy bouncing the ball and putting in the box (old diaper box). I just feel I need to do more or do better but I feel like I'm being to hard on myself.

Today I got my surprise from the husband & boy was it a surprise! Even though I figured he was sending flowers - it blew my mind. First off I have never received flowers from him before - delivery wise. He bought me a bouquet for our anniversary a while ago but this bouquet was amazing! If you follow me on social media then you have already seen the beautiful bouquet.

I was completely blown away by the two dozen roses but the bear & the dozen strawberries.. WOW that was over the top! He did a great job! I was very surprised but sad he wasn't here so I could thank him in person & he could enjoy some of the strawberries too. Hopefully he doesn't forget in my birthday (in a month) and he does a smaller bouquet without all the extra's. I'm also hoping I can keep these beautiful babies alive for a while!

That's all I have for today. I know that I'm really hard on myself and I know I need to stop doing that. The good thing is my brother will be here on Friday so I'll have a little adult interaction to hopefully help me feel 'normal' again. Motherhood is hard, deployments are hard - I just never thought about doing both at the same time. My hat goes off to all the Mom's out there who have done deployments. You are so strong! My hat goes off to all the single Mom's; I don't know how you do it but you deserve more then my words of acknowledgement. Just know you are doing the best you can & your babies know you love them.

I hope everyone had a great Wednesday & hoping you have a even better Thursday. 

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