Monday, January 25, 2016

Happy & Sad

Hello.
These past two weeks have just been a whirlwind. Lets start with the good - shall we?
Our count down to Texas has finally approached 10 days until departure. I'm getting excited.
In the next couple of days I'll dust off our traveling bags and start packing for our two week trip.
Other good news.
We *finally* got a puppy. The hubby found a lady who had four white female pom pups & we got one of them. She is adorable. We named her Bella. She is frisky but loves 'little man' to pieces. She's been fairly easy to potty train & pretty content majority of the time. Gideon is having some issues getting used to the newest member of the house - but he'll catch on. I'm still holding out for one of Grizzly's nieces or nephews. Word is the Momma will be pregnant again for her last litter in March.. so I'm crossing my fingers that we'll have a pup from Grizzly's family line by the end of the summer. Two Poms!! I can't contain the excitement that brings me.

Prior to having a kiddo I thought it would be easy to find a 'drop in' day care for a day or two a week. Looks like, here in Cali, that is a pipe dream. I've been searching high and low for a good place to drop him off once a week so he can socialize. Otherwise he's here at the house with me all week, or running errands with me. I feel that he really needs to be around kids his own age & I also feel that it's important that he is in someone else's care for a couple of hours. I'm so scared of him having separation anxiety when we do have to leave him with someone.. because it's bound to happen at some point. If anyone has any feed back on this please let me know. We will be signing up with the YMCA as soon as we return from Texas & I know that will help out.

For the sad portion of this post.
Over the weekend a dear friend of mine lost her 9 month old son to SMA. {Spinal Muscular Atrophy}He was officially diagnosed less then two weeks ago & everything just snowballed. He went to the ER because he got RSV (respiratory infection) and the hospital ran some tests that came back with the SMA results. If you follow me on facebook, I shared a link asking for prayers over the weekend because he took a turn for the worse late Friday afternoon. I have to say that dealing with a death of a child is horrible & I wouldn't wish that one anyone. We were pregnant together, she went to my baby shower, and I got breast feeding advice from her. I've never dealt with a death of a child & I can only imagine what this little family is going through right now. My heart breaks & I haven't cried this much since my Dad died in 2007. In the wake of their grief these amazing parents decided to donate his organs & saved five lives.. FIVE! What an incredible way to honor this little angles life. It's powerful stuff I tell you.
I ask that you all send prayers & healing thoughts to my friend as she continues to raise awareness of SMA & in his honor I will do the same. There are so many illnesses and conditions that we could have, or heaven forbid - our children have, at any time. Each fight & cause are so important to those who have been effected. I ask that you to just add them to your prayers & possibly a donation to help find a cure. Either way this family could use some support through this difficult time.
here is a little SMA information.   

I hope you all have an amazing week!! 



Friday, January 15, 2016

phone talk

I've been pretty vocal about my dislike for the way that social media has taken the place of interacting with people. The way that texting has replaced a phone conversation & of a hand written letter. I'm not done sharing my concern & so I am going to keep posting about this topic. I try to express to people that we are falling away from actual conversation. We limit ourselves to little sentences about our days. We use emoji's to express our emotions & rave about the newest article we found on facebook. We do majority of our shopping through the convenience of websites and have it all shipped to our front door. I know someone who even has their groceries delivered to their home so they don't have to leave their house on the weekends. We pay our bills through online services... It's all about the convenience. BUT is it really?? What are we doing with that free time that we suddenly have since modern technology has made life so effortless?? You saved yourself two in a half hours by shopping online and saving money on the gas you would have spent. You paid all your bills & didn't have to wait in those long bank lines that we used to have to endure. You now have a extra four hours in your day but what are you doing with that free time? Using it to surf through snapchats, watch videos, catch up with someone through facebook & instagram posts?

I wanted to share this conversation that I had with a friend this past week with you all:

A couple of weeks ago a good friend posted that she was having some medical issues her youngest son & that it was just easier to share what was going on through facebook & instagram to reach everyone. Last week her son was admitted into the hospital & they are still there now.  I had an appointment at the hospital with my son so I sent her a text asking if I could bring her & her husband anything. She asked for some coffee and something to munch on so I made her a blueberry muffin loaf. While I was there she got misty eyed and told me that she really appreciated the fact that I offered to stop by. Not to bring her coffee or the blueberry loaf.. but the fact that I just stopped by.
She told me that it had been so long since she had taken the time to sit and have a face-to-face conversation with someone. Being in the hospital room she realized that it had been so long since she had picked up the phone and just talked to someone. She shared that she had pulled up many friends contact information but hesitated in actually calling any of them because who actually uses their phone to 'voice' talk anyway. Her daily routine of connecting has been through the social media groups. She was shocked that nobody had reached out to call & ask about her son. She was upset that they had been admitted for four days & I was the first person to show any interest in visiting at all. She started to get angry at all the people who knew what was going on & yet nobody had reached out to them that was here in the same State. (Both their families are from Kentucky).It made me sad. It made me sad to see how alone she felt, to hear the frustration of the isolation we have created as a society.

AND PLEASE Stop using the excuse that "you are too busy'.. we are all busy.. we all have lives.. you aren't special. You get the same amount of daylight that everyone else does. Just because you use your time differently does mean that you are busier then the rest of us. I absolutely HATE that excuse. Furthermore, I also hate that we have created excuses that have become normal slogans to our isolation. Like:

this is NOT true. People grow apart because the go in different directions but people who put the elbow grease into a relationship and keep lines of communication stay strong.
or:


true. You can stay friends with someone and not talk everyday. BUT it's so easy to let a week turn into two, then two turn into a month and a month turn into six. We replace that patch of time with something else to keep us occupied. You wouldn't let your spouse come home and not talk to you for a whole week. You work on creating topics to discuss - so why should your other relationships be that different? 

In closing:  We need the socialization. In the animal kingdom - animals are seen in herds. They migrate together, they work together, they communicate together. We has a human race (we are also considered to be animals) are social creatures and we have the herding instinct. Why are we so determined to isolate ourselves and pretend that we want to be alone while we surf the web for conversation? I mean isn't that what it's for? Facebook was created to keep up with people far and near.. to connect with people .. not to isolate ourselves and have that be the only means of communication. 

I have made it a point to carve out time in my day to talk to someone on the phone.. not everyday.. but at least once a week. I randomly call and ask about how someone is doing... really doing. So I challenge you to do the same thing. Carve 30 minutes our of your day and call someone you haven't spoken to in a while. You'll be amused by the surprise and delightment in their voice & how good you feel too! No I don't just challenge you.. I double dog dare you. 




Sunday, January 10, 2016

Plans for 2016


This past week we found out that my husband will be leaving for his new ship soon. Since he is on a ship, that is being built in another state, he will have to go to the location of the building. He will stay there until the ship is ready to be sailed back to San Diego, which we are told he could be gone up to a year.. maybe a little longer. We talked about us going as a family, but the truth is he'll be working long hours and after a couple of months the ship will start it's sail around back home. So the rational part of moving for a couple of months didn't really make any sense - so we will be doing this long distance.
I haven't done a deployment since November 2011. I'm sorta terrified. I'd be terrified without us having a kid but the fact that we do kinda makes this a little more scary. We have a trip planned to Texas soon - actually a month from now.  After that it will be a just a hop, skip and a jump from when my husband leaves. Then 'Little Mans' first birthday is after that.. and well the whole holiday snowball effect is after that. I'm sure it will all go quicker then I think & I have a couple of plans up my sleeve.. like a couple of trips and stuff.
I'm trying to put together things for us to do with "Little Man". A friend sent me a link that was shared on a mommy facebook group about all the things to do with a child here in San Diego. I've gone through the list and found a couple that would be great for Little Man & I to do. I also planned on joining the YMCA after we get back from Texas & to get a year membership to the zoo. We also have the beach this coming summer.
I reminding myself that I just need to take this one day at a time and no worry so much about what is to come. I'm a planner. I just need to plan things out sometimes to help myself through some of these crazy months ahead.
I guess my view has changed a little. We knew this deployment was coming but we thought it would be much later in the year. I also think that by putting a date to it made it a lot more real. So now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to manage with all the changes that are about to happen.. because as I have said a thousand times.. I don't do well with change. So putting all these plans in motion helps me cope a little more and more.

if you have any fun activity ideas for a 6month old - a year old child please let me know. I'm open for any suggestions or ideas. How do you keep busy during deployments with kids?








Wednesday, January 6, 2016

PHD

Earlier today a Mom posted a post on her facebook page about how Pediatricians are wrong for telling people that 4 month old can eat solids. The article goes on to say that the CDC - The Center of Disease Control & Prevention - along with the AAP - Academy of Pediatrics - say food should be introduced until six months of age. That 40% of parents are listening to their advice and going ahead and introducing solid foods to their child at 4 months. The list a range of things that could be linked to child obesity, diabetes, eczema, and Celiac disease. The New York Times even shares a post by a CDC epidemiologist {the study of the patterns, causes, and effects of health & disease conditions defined populations} saying that we need to share the "dissemination of the recommendations on solid food introduction.  Lower in the post it gives a list of excuses, I mean reasons, parents feed their kids too soon.. including : 'A doctor or health care professional said my baby should begin eating solid foods".
Original Post Here

So why am I sharing this? Because I am sick of people undermining Pediatricians or Doctors. Their is a articial on almost everything we do stating that we do it their way. I have the utmost faith in my Pediatrician & when she said that we could start giving Little Man cereal at 4.5 months I didn't hesitate. I didn't google opposing views, I didn't ask other Mom's for their advice. I did, however, ask other Mom's how to make my own baby food & looked up a list of introduction food for his age group. I get so frustrated reading these articals going against medical professionals. I mean why go see them at all? If you aren't going to listen to what they feel is right for your child - then why make an appointment, pay the deductable and listen to what they have to say if you are going to only listen to what Sally down the street tells you??? Seems upsurd. Yes Sally has four healthy kiddo's but like each adult in the world.. kids are individuals too {gasp!} Further more.. all the reasons listed in the article say that parents use these various reason's on why they feed their child before six months.. all of which are the exact reasons we started feeding little man cereal at 4.5 months. SO, yes I feel a little defensive. Yes, I feel that I need to protect my choices and decisions when articles like this are posted.

Further on this point. I had a person come by and see my kiddo for the first time. I started talking about how our pediatrician recommended he go to a "Mothers Day Out" or a "drop in" type place so he could interact with kids his own age. It would help him
1. get his immune levels up
2. it would help his interaction skills.
3. Learn to be away from Mommy for a few hours.

Our guest started saying how the pediatrician was wrong & that daycare is a bad idea if you don't have to use them. Complained that your kids get sick to much & that one on one play dates are more ideal. I would agree that play dates are more ideal but we don't really have that luxury. Every time I try to make a play date or meet up with other Mom's they cancel for one reason or another. I had a zoo play date planned for tomorrow but I had to be the buzz kill and cancel because it's raining. So I'm not really sure on when or where my kid would get the one on one interaction she talked about.
Studies show that your child needs these interactions so that they don't just bond with the parent. That leaving him after he is six months {for the first time} can cause separation anxiety on both the child and parent. So leaving your child with a babysitter or a 'drop in' day care environment is ideal. Little Man & I go and do things all the time. We go for walks, we go to shopping stores, and we hang out in the back yard from time to time.. but he's almost six months old! I understand what she said but I also agree with our pediatrician. There is nothing wrong with your kid socializing with other kids in their age group - it's how they learn. Kids learn by watching and then copy.. so if my kid watches other kids play then he'll pick up a couple of things. I don't mind that he might get a cold.. it could happen while at the grocery store just as easily. I could count on play dates but the 'drop in' option is more reliable then planning or keeping a play date anyway.

My point in closing is this. If you aren't a pediatrician then stop forcing any one belief on how to raise a child to yourself. It makes me so angry to hear people constantly comment on how Dr's are wrong. I have had Dr's be wrong.. One told me that I'd never be able to have a child.. and he was wrong. Then again with out the help and guidance of a Dr - I wouldn't have a child. SO I'm not saying all medical opinions are correct but I'm not saying they aren't all wrong either. We all parent a little differently. I'm ok with that. Just please don't force it down my throat that I'm a horrible parent because Dr Google say's that my pediatrician is wrong. I fully defend the choices that I have made with Little Man & I will completely understand the choices that you choose to make for your child. I just wish we didn't all jump to prove our Dr's wrong because if you do.. then I don't understand why you even see one in the first place. Last of all.. I'm not a Dr. I'm not even going to pretend to be. So I'm not own to give you medical advice for your child. I can't stand facebook Mommy groups that post questions to other parents that should be directed towards a Dr. I'm sure they hate me too because my go to response is "call your Dr & stop asking a facebook group". Then again.. what do I know... right?

Hope everyone is having a good day. I just needed to voice my thoughts on this.




Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Hello.

A couple of weeks ago I started to realize that 'Little Man' is growing out of things so fast.
We retired "Lion" {the bouncy chair} & we are working really hard to transition him from his "Lambie" {rock n play} into his crib. (So far so good).
I need to do another purge of his baby clothes, which is getting harder and harder and I started looking into a transitional baby bath. We ended up with a inflatable "Ducky safety bath tub" (for $12). He hates it but in a couple of weeks it'll be his new favorite thing.
It honestly just amazes me on how fast he is growing up.

We picked out dates for our Texas trip in Feb. For some reason the husband wants to 'surprise' everyone and keep our arrival a surprise. I found that cool when we didn't have a kid but now that we do - I feel that we should be more prepared. Anyway our dates are set & I'm excited. I'm sure before I know it a month will fly by & I'll be stressing about the whole trip again. I contacted a couple of friends to let them know that I am coming because unlike my husband.. I want people to plan on seeing us if they can.

Like everyone else I'm struggling with the weight I gained since having little man. The large amounts of coffee & the Dr Pepper n Rum - I've gained a lot little bit of weight. Anyway I have a little over a month to drop some weight. We have been walking everyday & I started drinking a lot more water. After our trip to Texas I should be able to restart our membership to the Y. Also Little Man can start his swim lessons after we get back too.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas & a wonderful New Years.