Tuesday, May 17, 2016

run maybe?

I'm not a runner. I don't think I could run to the end of my street and back if I had too. 
This is my running motto:


Simple and true
I'm in horrible shape. Absolutely horrible shape. BUT I have been given a challange. A challenge I'm not sure that I can accept but one that I certainly want to accept. 
My brother in law, Steve, was diagnosed with Leukemia last fall. He has had a very rough battle, chemo & the other trials have not worked. The Chemo just makes him sicker and he has had pneumonia twice already after Chemo treatments. His counts are up and the last trial he did harmed his vocal cords - leaving him barely able to talk. This is man with a great singing voice and my heart breaks with this hardship. Also - to add to the horrible cancer news - it came shortly after his first Grandson was born. 
My nephew's wife posted about a half Marathon in San Antonio, Texas on December 4th {Sponsored by Teamintraining.org}for the Leukemia/Lymphoma society. I wanna do this. I want to do something to raise awareness, to raise money & to support my amazing brother in law Steve. I want to drive to Texas and join my nephew's wife & a couple of our family/friends. I almost feel like I need to do this. 
BUT

Back to the top of this post - I don't run. I don't even know that I could run a 5K (three miles) let alone a half marathon (13.1)! AND the run is five months and some change away. I mean - I'm pushing it. That's a lot of training. Not to mention the cost of travel to get to Texas (again) from Cali with a baby by myself.  It's crazy, insane even!! But love makes you do crazy things; doesn't it? 
I could go to Houston for Thanksgiving and drive down to San Antonio for the marathon. I could fly to San Antonio for the weekend and do the marathon. There are options and if I put my feet where my heart is - I could do this. 
Will I do this? Will I commit to the training, eattings habits, life altering modifications that would be needed to succeed? 
It would greatly improve my healthy, my weight loss goal and lord knows my own personal spirit. I'm worried if I commit and don't follow through then I'll have the heaviest sense of regret. Hell, even if I went and walked the whole 13 miles - I went and did my part to this amazing cause.. yea?? 


Holy crap I think I just agreed to commit and try to running/walking my first half marathon! 

Who's with me? 


Friday, May 13, 2016

personal regroup.

I think it's safe to say that when we try to recreate ourselves later in life it's called a 'mid life crisis'. I think that every so many years we come to a point that we need to refocus & regroup. That is where I am at at this moment. I am in desperate need to regroup & refocus my life. I have been struggling for a while with finding a healthy way to release a lot of anger that I have held onto. You get a lot of opinions and suggestions but nothing has really seemed to help. I don't want anger to take over my life anymore. I am tired of feeling jaded, on edge and hesitant. I feel the healthiest way to help with the anger is to work out. To really focus on releasing this toxic energy.
I have a couple of idea's on how to regroup my life. I think that I have about 10 points that I'd like to implement into my life. The top of my list is to remove all the items we haven't used in the past 6-12 months from our house. I think it's important to remove some of the clutter to help release some of the old. I have changed myself so much, I wanted to go back to the when I felt good about myself. I went and got my nails done the other day (as fake as that it - I like having them since I bite my nails when I am stressed). I have also planned on getting my hair dyed back to a blonder color. (again i know that is a little fake but it's what i have always felt comfortable.) I also plan on getting on a very heavy workout routine. I have been using the FitBit but now I'm ready to really turn up the volume. As long as little man stays healthy - we'll be at the gym at least four days a week.
My next goal on the list is to put myself out there and make some good friends. I feel that my anger and fear of rejection hasn't allowed me to really open up to people. Plus the fact that i have so much anger - the negativity is just rolling off of me. Since military wives haven't proven to be the best way to make friends. I've decided to give the church another try. I'm going to start looking into different churches in the area and find a place that i feel comfortable. It will be a good place for little man & I to try. I'm just really praying that I don't run into another dead in on this one, but the part of this transition is to put myself out there.
Those are just a couple of things I have on the list. It's not that I'm unhappy or that I'm in a bad situation - it's just that I need a tune up. I just need to regain control over what I don't feel like I have control over. We are all a constant work in progress and I feel that with all the changes happening - this is a good time for a tune up.




Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Surviving

We survived our first week of my husbands Underway. 
YAY!
Little man & I kept super busy. 

We babysat, we went out to breakfast, we ran errands and got groceries.


We attended a Sunday dinner on the beach with a friend, we then took a rest day for Monday. Tuesday we went to the San Diego zoo, 


Wednesday we took another trip to base to purchase Mother's day gifts & then to the post office. Thursday a friend from high school came to San Diego and we spent some time at the beach.


We even got to see whales along the shore line while we were visiting a beach. Super cool.

I even had enough time to read a WHOLE book! {Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard}I haven't read a book in such a long time & it was so good that i ended up buying the next three books to the series (which I haven't touched). 

Friday my husband came home late and we made the most out of the short weekend we had. Sunday night little man came down with a fever and well this week has been hell. No fun trips, no fun adventures past going to the Dr's office. We start a whole new week on Friday so I'm sure we can find some awesome things to do that week too. Hopefully little man gets better fast so we can attend swim lessons this month - considering we haven't been since March. I'd also like to go back to the gym too because we haven't been there in a while either. 

What are some things you like to do with your kids?