Thursday, February 23, 2017

a glimpse of the finish line

Lord almighty - I never dreamed in a thousand years that this deployment would be as emotionally challenging as it has been. Granted, it really has nothing to do with being pregnant but everything to do with who I thought were my friends. It's hard going through transitions but to feel so alone - it makes it harder. It has also showed me that I'm a lot tougher then I thought I was because I've done four months by myself.

Two sisters in Texas have agreed to come to San Diego for the birth of the baby. If the baby comes on the 4th of May - I'll have them for 12 whole days before they fly home. Since I didn't feel that was long enough - I asked my husband's SIL to come from Texas for the remainder of May. So in June I'll have both kids all on my own and have had apx 27 days to heal from my c-section. I'm worried it's not enough time to heal after a c-section .. not enough to be able to lift 'little man' by that time frame. BUT oh well. I've begged everyone that I can... so I gotta make it work.

While I'm making some big plans after 'little one' is born - I still have some things to complete before he's born. I'm renting a dumpster in March to dejunk our home like I have talked about almost this whole pregnancy. I have bought shelfs, and reorganized certain rooms but it's not enough. I gotta clean out more. I really, REALLY, need to go through my clothes and donate some things - my closet and drawers are busting at the seams.  My brother will be here for a work thing for a couple of weeks, which will allow me to really get some of this done. I don't rely on people but having someone else in the house means I can get some stuff done without having to worry about 'little man' so much. By that I mean he's not here for fun, he's here for work, so I'm not renting a dumpster because he'll be here.

I had different plans for this deployment, pregnant or not, but that's not what I got. I'm OK with that - I just gotta move forward and make the best of the time I have left. The babies room is done, little man is in swim classes,  I have a handful of things left to purchase for the baby, the house is getting more and more organized, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. A long distant friend called me a 'badass' the other day & I realized that 'that' was the first complement I have received in a long time. That little complement re-lightened a fire in me. So that was really cool & I'm thankful because I really needed the encouragement.

I'm also sure that I'm checking into a day spa a couple of weekends after the husband returns because I deserve some time off and pampering. but seriously I won't be able to stay away from my kids long enough to really enjoy that... haha. 

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

oh baby.

The nursery is complete! I did a transportation theme & I love it.

I bought the bed off of Amazon - which happened to be the exact same bed that Little Man has. We bought Little Man's on base and found it cheaper on Amazon.
I found this bed set & mobile on through a link on pinterest. Once I found this link and the bedding - it all just came together after that.  

I found these decals through a etsy shop called: YendoPrint!  These decals were super inexpensive, fun to put together and fast to arrive. I bought extension packets to add more trees, roads and airplanes/helicopters. I also was able to get Little Man's name done with the extension packet (which was $10!) Which is a good thing considering we changed Little One's name. I just wish they had some boat options.

found these adorable custom curtains on Etsy from Fresh Canopy I love them. I love that they are black out curtains and I love that they pull the theme together. Considering Little Man also had custom Dr Suess curtains - this was a no brainer and were less then $100!

The dresser was also bought off of Amazon after finding the same one at a cheaper price. Plus the delivery was a huge bonus. I also was able to find a 'truck' Scentsy warmer for Little One's dresser. (Little Man has a Dr Suess Scentsy warmer).

I was able to find a glider, with foot rest, in a cherry finish and tan cloth on Facebook's 'marketplace' for $40! That was a steal! I was able to really clean it up with a "magic eraser".
I also found a tulla on zulily for $60 & the infant insert on amazon for $25! Little Man had so many clothes to pass down to his little brother that we really didn't have to purchase many things. Of course I went a little overboard with 'Big Brother/Little Brother' outfits.

With reusing blankets, burb cloths, clothing, infant car seat, toys and baby gear - we have saved a lot! So splurging on what we do need hasn't been a real big issue. I bought crib sheets - Dr Suess for Little Man and car sheets for Little One - at Target. I still need to purchase a double stroller - which I'm debating on two Graco strollers and will purchasing off of Amazon. One of the smartest things we did with Little Man was start purchasing diapers after our first ultrasound. Since they lasted us through the first 8 months of Little Man's life.. we repeated this for Little One. We have managed to purchase Pamper diapers from size 1-3 (4-6 boxes in each size). I have purchased two small 'bags' of Pamper newborn diapers and one size 4 box. We have also been able to find the box of handi wipes (6 in a box) which has come in very handy!  So aside from the stroller I will still need to purchase another motion detection monitor from Motorola. I also need to purchase a couple more bottles because I melted all the Avent bottle tops a while ago. So the only way to get the 'natural' bottle ring and nipples are to purchase new bottles. That part sucks because I saved all the bottles from Little Man. 

The baby prepping has been super easy. I have had so much more fun planning this nursery simply because we has so much left over. I can say that number 2 was been a breeze! I am anxiously awaiting this little one's arrival!! The closer we get the more excited we get! 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

ironing plans

So I finally found someone to come out to San Diego - actually two people. They fly out late April - yay! I also went to my OB for the first third trimester check up, I know I was shocked too. After a really long talk my OB & I decided that we are going to schedule a c-section & the date that was picked was May 4th. I'm so excited. I'm hoping and praying this baby can make it through April & kind of hoping that the baby becomes before May 4th.

Now that everything seems to be coming together I can start to relax and focus on the last stretch. We are still debating on a name but I'm pretty sure I've picked the one I want. Since we had decided on Michael early.. I have a lot of things to change - like a stocking and his name on the wall in his room. I still haven't gotten a double stroller and I would like to get a couple more crib sheets. Otherwise I am ready.

I am a little disappointed though. I'm disappointed that people that I thought were do or die don't seem to be friends at all. It's so strange that when my husband is here everyone hangs around but now that I actually need people nobody is really around.  It's really hard to think I've opened my home during all the holiday and birthday parties. We've considered all these people extended family & now I can't get a one of them to help when I need it the most. It has caused a huge rift on my behalf but I know that my husband won't share the same views. So it's something I'll have to learn to get over (even though I won't). I am pretty sure that a lot is about to change due to this.

Having a baby should be one of the happiest moments in a person's life. Esp after the fact that we thought we'd never be able to have children and to know that "I" am so alone - it's pretty sad. I wish my husband was going to be here for the birth of our child but I do understand. I don't understand why our friends aren't helping but I do understand why my husband can't be here. I just pray that my heart softens and I can find a way to let this anger and hurt go. I am praying that God is making more room for some new friends to enter our lives and I really pray that my husband will open his ears and really listen to what I'm saying. I think we need a better group of people to help us grow.

79 days to go until our baby boy arrives!! Super excited and super thankful that other people have stepped up to help Little Man & I while we have our little guy.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

I hate tax returns

Yes, you read that correctly - I hate tax returns. They make me bitter. I don't get a refund working from home and I really miss the tax return portion of a job. While I don't miss the 9-5 dance of working - the tax refund is all that I really miss.
So we filed, we talked about how it would be spent and of course once it hits the account the husband decides what's done with the refund. Like I said I'm bitter. I think the issue is that the husband and I have very different idea's of how to spend the refund. I see it as a chance to get some big home 'to do's' done, buy a couple of wants and to save the rest. My husband always puts it towards a credit card, or two, to pay off. No fun. No fun at all. I have wanted to replace our carpets since we have moved in and he always says "next refund.. next refund" and then the next refund comes around and it goes to a credit card or a car loan or whatever. {insert eye roll}
So our big argument via facetime was that this is supposed to be my return. I was going to spend it the way I wanted. Somehow being the person in charge of the bills, isn't in charge at all. He swooped in and spend the refund before I even noticed it hit our account. I had plans for it and it's gone. I'm livid. He also checks in on how I paid bills, how I spend the money and then wants me to 'itemize' each transaction.. augh!
NOW in his defense.. we received a settlement a couple months back and I used the settlement to purchase the nursery decor. So the money that was meant to be mine out of the refund was technically spent out of the settlement. My goal out of the refund was to purchase a double stroller, and to replace our carpets. I guess I shouldn't argue considering the nursery has been completed for a couple of months now but damn man.. I hate his ninja moves.
Also my husband has a panic attack to have a credit card balance of any kind. Any kind. So where I pay a CC off as it comes {I don't just pay minimum balances either} he wants a $0.000 across the board.. and just has a melt down otherwise. I don't like having credit card debit either.. really.. I have been working hard to pay them off. So while we, ahem - I, have a habit of paying off a card and then using it again .. I decided that this go around we are paying a cc off and then closing it! If I spend $150 a month on a payment.. that's $150 I have in the bank if it's closed. So our arguement included that I had no self control and that we didn't need to close the account.. but we do. Oh we do. I'm tired of this song and dance and I want my carpets replaced. SO if I close them and we have that money in our pockets... then he can't bitch and spend the refund to pay off the credit card that will be closed.
{Of course he'll just apply it to having a car note or something crazy stupid like that... did I mention I was bitter??}
My last relationship we lived paycheck to paycheck.. never had a cc to fall back on (thank god) and never had a savings. Our refunds were our free play money because we didn't have any through the remaining year. Those things never bothered me, ok that's a fat lie, but having kids made me really want to work towards a savings. Even though he doesn't recognize me annoyance and my effort to keep the plastic at a minimum it's there... I swear.
I'm going to hang up some clothes and get over the fact that I can't have my new carpet I was desperately wanting and get over the fact that my husband's responsible with bills and credit cards.

ok rant over...what are your compromises and complaints with your refund splurges?