Lord almighty - I never dreamed in a thousand years that this deployment would be as emotionally challenging as it has been. Granted, it really has nothing to do with being pregnant but everything to do with who I thought were my friends. It's hard going through transitions but to feel so alone - it makes it harder. It has also showed me that I'm a lot tougher then I thought I was because I've done four months by myself.
Two sisters in Texas have agreed to come to San Diego for the birth of the baby. If the baby comes on the 4th of May - I'll have them for 12 whole days before they fly home. Since I didn't feel that was long enough - I asked my husband's SIL to come from Texas for the remainder of May. So in June I'll have both kids all on my own and have had apx 27 days to heal from my c-section. I'm worried it's not enough time to heal after a c-section .. not enough to be able to lift 'little man' by that time frame. BUT oh well. I've begged everyone that I can... so I gotta make it work.
While I'm making some big plans after 'little one' is born - I still have some things to complete before he's born. I'm renting a dumpster in March to dejunk our home like I have talked about almost this whole pregnancy. I have bought shelfs, and reorganized certain rooms but it's not enough. I gotta clean out more. I really, REALLY, need to go through my clothes and donate some things - my closet and drawers are busting at the seams. My brother will be here for a work thing for a couple of weeks, which will allow me to really get some of this done. I don't rely on people but having someone else in the house means I can get some stuff done without having to worry about 'little man' so much. By that I mean he's not here for fun, he's here for work, so I'm not renting a dumpster because he'll be here.
I had different plans for this deployment, pregnant or not, but that's not what I got. I'm OK with that - I just gotta move forward and make the best of the time I have left. The babies room is done, little man is in swim classes, I have a handful of things left to purchase for the baby, the house is getting more and more organized, and I'm proud of what I've accomplished. A long distant friend called me a 'badass' the other day & I realized that 'that' was the first complement I have received in a long time. That little complement re-lightened a fire in me. So that was really cool & I'm thankful because I really needed the encouragement.
I'm also sure that I'm checking into a day spa a couple of weekends after the husband returns because I deserve some time off and pampering. but seriously I won't be able to stay away from my kids long enough to really enjoy that... haha.