Tuesday, February 14, 2017

ironing plans

So I finally found someone to come out to San Diego - actually two people. They fly out late April - yay! I also went to my OB for the first third trimester check up, I know I was shocked too. After a really long talk my OB & I decided that we are going to schedule a c-section & the date that was picked was May 4th. I'm so excited. I'm hoping and praying this baby can make it through April & kind of hoping that the baby becomes before May 4th.

Now that everything seems to be coming together I can start to relax and focus on the last stretch. We are still debating on a name but I'm pretty sure I've picked the one I want. Since we had decided on Michael early.. I have a lot of things to change - like a stocking and his name on the wall in his room. I still haven't gotten a double stroller and I would like to get a couple more crib sheets. Otherwise I am ready.

I am a little disappointed though. I'm disappointed that people that I thought were do or die don't seem to be friends at all. It's so strange that when my husband is here everyone hangs around but now that I actually need people nobody is really around.  It's really hard to think I've opened my home during all the holiday and birthday parties. We've considered all these people extended family & now I can't get a one of them to help when I need it the most. It has caused a huge rift on my behalf but I know that my husband won't share the same views. So it's something I'll have to learn to get over (even though I won't). I am pretty sure that a lot is about to change due to this.

Having a baby should be one of the happiest moments in a person's life. Esp after the fact that we thought we'd never be able to have children and to know that "I" am so alone - it's pretty sad. I wish my husband was going to be here for the birth of our child but I do understand. I don't understand why our friends aren't helping but I do understand why my husband can't be here. I just pray that my heart softens and I can find a way to let this anger and hurt go. I am praying that God is making more room for some new friends to enter our lives and I really pray that my husband will open his ears and really listen to what I'm saying. I think we need a better group of people to help us grow.

79 days to go until our baby boy arrives!! Super excited and super thankful that other people have stepped up to help Little Man & I while we have our little guy.

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