As promised I'm continuing with the chapter overviews of "Girl, Wash your face" by Rachel Hollis and my personal imput.
Chapter 10 is about goals.
She says that women don't look forward to birthday's after a certain age. That we'd like to just sweep them under the rug because for the majority of us it marks another year of what we didn't accomplish. I love birthday's and I love to celebrate my loved one's birthdays. True to the point though - I usually don't celebrate my own. Simply because it's usually a couple days from Thanksgiving and we are all busy organizing and prepping for Turkey day. Our birthday's should be a celebration of the life we have created and accomplished thus far.
I love that she said "God has a perfect timing." "Maybe that goal wasn't ever mean to be yours". "Maybe you are destined for something so much cooler."
For years all I wanted was to be a parent. To have a child grow within me and become a parent. It took 12 years. Not a straight 12 - finacialy and personally I had to take time off but collectively it was 12 years. While I was fighting my own body to become a parent and understand why it wasn't working I lost sight of everything else. I had no other goals. I didn't put the baby making on hold and say "I want to be a hair stylist and I'm going to accomplish that first". Nope. I just wondered aimlessly from job to job praying something would stick.
Now that I'm in my late 30's I regret that. I regret not having that push or desire to create a career for myself. I could have been a great hair stylist! I could have pursued web design and made a great career for myself in 2007. I could have stuck with the goal of being a child psychologist I wanted to be in high school. I just had blinders on and didn't think about the bigger picture. Which now I'm a stay at home Mom juggling 3 kids and I have a husband who is rarely here due to his career. So having a full time career wouldn't be a important in this stage of my life anyway.
In a portion of the book she says "own on negative self-talk can be more damaging than the emotional abuse heaped on us by a hateful parent. It's also far more insidious because there's nobody there to stop it, since we rarely even realize it's happening." PG 105
The challenge of this chapter is to not look at our un-met goals as a form of unacomplishments but look at it as those goals weren't really meant for you. Those un-met goals lead you to pursue something else that helped you gain your path. I have a hard time with that, personally, simply because I don't think I drove the bus to my own destiny, I was dragged. I lost my job in 2008 and a whole new whirlwind chapter started. It was out of my control and I just followed along - praying for something good to happen. and ya know what? It did! Yes I got divorced in 2010, yes I slept on my brother's couch for months with no money to my name. Yes, I moved to a completely different state without a job or direction.. but ya know what? I met my husband. I was available to be courted and taken care of for the first time in my life. I had to learn to rely and trust other people for the first time. I had to hit rock bottom and regain a new inner self. My husband and I met in 2010 but we didn't get married until 2013. Our first child was born in 2015, our second in 2017 and our third in 2018. I have a beautiful home, a awesome new van, no debit aside from our mortgage.. which is a lot better then where I was 10 years ago! I am very thankful that my 'goals' took a little longer to come to pass b/c my husband is an amazing father, provider and friend. I wouldn't want this path with anyone else.
I challenge you to do her advisement at the end of the chapter. "List out everything you have accomplished to date. In fact, write yourself a letter about your tenacity!" It's pretty enlightening!
Hope you have a great day! I hope you take a moment to write out that list of your own accomplishments so you can see how awesome you are! I hope that you stop doing your own negative self-talk and realize how awesome you are! Now go take on today with a brighter spirit and be patient with yourself and your goals. They shouldn't have expiration dates!