Sunday, May 19, 2019

2 month update.

WOW!! Guys it's been 2 months!! Almost two whole months!!

We got that puppy. We named him Rollie. He is the most amazing dog we have had to date. He has been super easy to train, got along with our existing pups super fast & has been a great joy. I just got to get his nipping under control b/c he has a hard time switching from playing with the pups to the kids.
My daughter turned 1. She is just .. amazing. She is both happy and grumpy. She is ridiculously smart & boy am I in trouble. Her favorite word is NO and she uses it A LOT and she is quick to remind you that she is the baby.

My middle child turned 2 and he is the sweetest child. He is such a boy but is so sensitive. His love for animals is just incredible. His favorite at the moment is a LION and he loves to 'roar'. He recently discovered dinosaurs and it's adorable.


My oldest child is just so busy. He goes to all these therapies and is just blossoming. He is talking SO much & if you can put it to a song he will repeat it. His love for music is not surprising but it's so incredible to hear him sing along. We have a ways to go before he says full sentences but he is getting there. We have been working on potty training & it's going.. I honestly thought this would be a faster process but he is really doing good.

The husband and I found a great marriage therapist. It's been helping us so much. As a military family we don't really think about 'time lost'. Our counselor did a time line, that showed us that we have only spent a year & a half together.. without roomies. So over the past 9 years .. only a year and half together. That really opened our eyes to how we have grown.. but apart. It has been a journey. We have had to really force ourselves to 'date' again and get to know one another. It sounds so silly but we have spent so much time apart.

My personal growth has really been focused around my home. I spend a lot of time cleaning, organizing, formulating schedules. I have forgotten who I am outside of these walls. I have forgotten the simple joys of the outside world. I think my focus has been on my home & making babies for so long that I put myself on the shelf. Although I like the things that I have, I do struggle. I struggle to keep my house to the vision I have created. My home is full and it's on the cluttered side. It drives me insane... literally insane. I feel like I am constantly throwing away, donating, giving away. Our children are growing so fast but because they are so close together - you can't just trash the before while bringing in the new. The baby is still on a bottle and the oldest is on to cups. So the huge variety causes clutter.
I think my biggest downfall is the noise. The noise from other people who don't understand where I'm at. The feedback that is negative and just unwanted. I am aware that I have three small kids but I still expect to have a certain standard. I'm not above ordering groceries, I'm not above chicken nuggest and food pouches but I can't stand an unorganized space. It makes me feel nervous. I also put a lot on pressure on myself because my oldest has in home therapy 4 days a week. I don't want to have a messy, unorganized home and so I filter through pinterest to find solutions. I think I have a good routine down now. We have organized a lot but we aren't even close to where I want.

So in therapy my biggest challange is trying to figure out who I am outside of being a Mom and that is hard. Stupid hard. My biggest goal in life was getting to where I am now & my new goal is managing this life the best way I can. I don't let people make me feel bad as a parent b/c to each their own. I do get a little down when I meet new people and I don't have a lot to share outside of my kids. I'm all about convenience... all about it. I'm all about music & coffee & baseball caps. I'm all about being comfy and reasonable not cute and in style.  I'm about going to the beach, the park, the zoo.. whatever puts a smile on my kids faces. I'm in love with air bnb's and I'll book a get away any chance I can. I like to sip on rum & dr pepper while watching my kids play. I'm silly simple.

For Mother's Day I hired someone to help clean the house & she is coming tomorrow. I'm excited to have some help. I'm going to finish this episode of 'Naked and Afraid' and go to bed.
Thank you for reading ... please stop & say hi...







No comments:

Post a Comment